Life – Dave Glardon

One Small Hole Can Sink the Ship

October 19, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Motivational Humor

Good morning and, dare I say, happy Monday! I hope your day and your week are off to a great start!

I’m sending this one out a bit earlier than normal. Sure, same day, but to some readers it’s a completely different time of day. In fact, for most of my readers, it’s dinnertime or later. So, to those of you in China, I’m doing this for you! For several weeks, your readership has been many times higher than the rest of the world combined. Welcome to the party!

I guess it just goes to show that a message of hope and positivity can bridge not only languages, but civilizations and political ideologies. That doesn’t surprise me, because at the end of the day we all want the same thing – a life of health and happiness, and enough wealth to make it enjoyable. What that means is entirely up to you. We all define success in our own terms.

When people ask what I write, I tell them motivational humor. “Why? What are you trying to accomplish?” Well, I want to help people find a higher level of success in life. Besides, I’m writing a book, and I’d like to find an audience who may want to buy it. Let’s be real, posting blogs online isn’t a profitable enterprise. It’s something you do as much for yourself as anyone.

But last week a close friend asked me the same question, and instead of the rehearsed answer, I gave it a little thought. I finally told her I’m trying to help readers achieve a higher level of self-actualization. That’s more than just success. It’s more than just making your dreams come true. It’s about fully experiencing life on your terms, or at least on terms acceptable to you.

If you took Psychology 101, you’ve heard of self-actualization. It comes from the mind of Abraham Maslow who, in 1943, defined the human “Hierarchy of Needs.” It takes the shape of a pyramid, with physiological needs (air, food, shelter, etc.) at the bottom of five levels, going through safety needs, love & belonging, and esteem, with self-actualization at the top.

The idea is simple – you have to fill in the bottom layers before you can build higher. Unless you’ve got adequate food and shelter, acceptance and esteem are pretty low on the list of priorities. And even if you do achieve self-actualization (not everyone does), let somebody hold your head underwater, and you’ll drop right back down to the bottom of the pyramid.

When we talk of success, people always think of business and financial success. That is, after all, what we’ve been conditioned to think. But it occurred to me that, in the pursuit of self-actualization, we need to be successful in not some, but all areas of our lives. And sure, that’s a tall order. But it is attainable. It just takes a lot of work and a little luck.

That’s why I talk sometimes about health. You can be as successful as you want in your career, but health can halt your progress faster than anything. Take it from the guy who went for a leisurely bicycle ride three years ago and ended up having a stroke. It can happen to any of us. I was able to go back to work. Not everyone has that option.

I talked Friday about being kind and ending everyday interactions in a way that leaves others feeling valued. Unless your ultimate aim is to be the world’s most formidable jackass (I think that title has already been claimed), kindness will factor into your best version of yourself. You can’t spread misery and enjoy happiness.

Finally, I talk a lot about dreams. I think dreams are our most important possessions, because it’s from dreams that life’s greatest achievements are born. In the words of Disney Imagineer Tom Fitzgerald, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” But the opposite is also true – if you can’t dream it, you probably can’t do it. Dreams are that important.

So, if you’ve noticed a gradual change in my writing, it’s just a natural part of this blog’s growth. As a comedian, they told us it takes 6-8 years to find out who you are onstage. I think the same is true of writers. We evolve, partly from our own needs and partly from getting to know our readers. So, please, introduce yourself. We could become best friends!

That’s all for today. I don’t think there’s any overriding message, other than in order to be the ideal version of yourself (in your own mind), you’ll need to find success in every area of your life. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. And that’s all any of us can ask of ourselves. As for how we get there, that’s a journey we can take together. Have an awesome day!

Make Sure They Remember You!

October 16, 2026October 18, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start!

A few days ago, I called my insurance company to find out why they didn’t reimburse any of the money I paid for my hearing aids. To save myself and the insurance a little I went to a big-box retailer instead of a hearing lab. My benefit pays 80% after deductible, and my deductible was met in January, so I felt good about the purchase. That should have been my first sign.

As it turns out, this retailer isn’t in my network. None are. And apparently my deductible for out-of-network providers is five times higher than my in-network deductible. Long story short (too late), it was all out-of-pocket. I wasn’t happy. I made sure she knew I wasn’t happy. It didn’t make me happy, but dammit, everybody knew I wasn’t happy! Including my wife.

A day later I was in the pharmacy to change my insurance info and pick up a prescription. I was treated with the same warm service I’ve come to expect from that store, and at the end the pharmacist asked if he could do anything else for me, and I said, “Yes – have yourself a really awesome day!” He was speechless. I bet his wife would love to know that trick.

I love ending transactions with people that way, whether it’s in-person or on the phone. People don’t expect it. They expect the same mechanical response they always get, as the encounter trails off to nothing and they’re left waiting for the next customer who may or may not be in a good mood. And let’s face it – in customer service, the odds are not in their favor.

When the conversation isn’t going as I’d hoped, I try to re-state my position, in case I missed an important point the first time. Then I remind myself this person doesn’t make the rules. I’ll tell them I’m not upset with them personally. That’s as much for me as for them. But once I say that, the ball is in their court. We can play nicely, or we can throw jabs.

Thankfully, most interactions lately have been pleasant, even enjoyable. I think a lot of that is my expectation going in – if I expect conflict, it usually doesn’t take long to find it. But when I go in expecting a reasonable conversation and at least an attitude of concern on their part, things seem to go much smoother. And some have even bent the rules in my favor.

But at the very end, when the encounter is over and I have one last chance to end it on a positive note, I take that opportunity. “Have a nice day” is kind and peaceful and warm. It’s also the most automated thing you can say, like two dudes nodding in passing and saying, “Whassup?” Trust me, you may not want to know. Let them keep their secrets to themselves.

And we all know “can I do anything else for you” comes straight out of the training manual. It’s an automated way of asking you to leave. “We’re done now – bye!” And they expect an automated reply. But when you hit them with something they didn’t expect, they not only hear it, they dwell on it for a second. In that brief moment, you’ve made their day … and yours.

Because you can’t make somebody else smile without smiling yourself. It may be inside, where nobody can see it and accuse you of being happy. But it’s there, nevertheless. It makes you feel good and you probably remember it long after they’ve forgotten. I do. Maybe that’s a sign I should be doing it more.

You’ll undoubtedly have several encounters with live human beings this weekend. Some will be nicer than others, but they all have one thing in common – they had a day before you showed up, and it may have been a really bad one. I’ve seen near-rage smoothed over with a gentle word. But it has to be genuine. A heartfelt kindness or compliment can change everything.

Give it a try. Make it an intentional part of your interactions. Find something nice to say about them personally (“You have an amazing knowledge of your company’s rules!”) and leave them with a smile before you walk away. Don’t just wish them a nice day. Ask them to please enjoy the rest of their day as if it’s a personal favor to you. Try it one time and then tell me how it felt.

That’s all for now. Spread some cheer this weekend and if you like how it feels, keep doing it! Kindness is contagious. So is malice. We decide which one we choose to spread. We all know how negativity feels, so let’s try on the other shoe for a change. And please, have yourself an awesome day!

Hold That Sneeze!

October 9, 2026October 9, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Motivational Humor

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

It’s October, and this is the time of year we start paying closer attention to our health, especially on this side of the equator. Winter is around the corner, and that means cold & flu season, not to mention a whole host of other ailments. And with the holidays coming up fast, nobody wants a head cold or worse. Especially the people sitting next to you.

This is also the time of year doctors remind us about vaccines. This can be a sensitive topic, and normally I’d stay out of it, but let’s be real … vaccines have saved millions of lives, and evidence of side effects just doesn’t support the hysteria, especially among people like me who aren’t qualified to make that determination. I wouldn’t let my doctor tell me how to do my job.

All I’m going to say is make an educated decision, not one based on politics or the latest gossip on social media. Here’s something to think about – when was the last time you saw YOUR doctor on social media? All those “doctors” online may not know a stethoscope from a speculum, but they’re full of advice. Talk to a real doctor or do some research – in a library.

Beyond that, what do you do to keep yourself healthy? Do you try to eat healthier foods at home instead of grease-burgers at the local dive? Do you exercise a little more, like maybe a walk after dinner? Do you at least send your kid out to shovel snow, so you don’t drop dead yourself? That’s the kind of anaerobic exercise that can really mess up your plans for the day.

Beyond the typical “diet and exercise,” do you take vitamins or supplements? We’re all very different, and what’s good for one person isn’t always good for another. That includes broccoli, in case my wife is reading this. The problem is that most doctors aren’t fans of vitamins, and if you want to get solid advice, you need to find one that’s a little more unbiased.

Most people my age trust an older doctor more, but not me. I want somebody who just passed a final exam of the latest in medical knowledge and still remembers it. Somebody who’s new enough to know they can still learn. And who is curious enough to study non-traditional treatments or at least observe how they work on their own patients.

Just a funny little aside – my wife had major abdominal surgery this summer, and has had a really rough recovery. She was talking with her surgeon’s nurse practitioner about her trouble sleeping, and I mentioned that she’s used edible marijuana in the past, but hadn’t used it since the surgery. The NP looked incredulous and asked, “Why not???” I like her.

And I’m not suggesting that as a way to keep you healthy through the winter, but it does has a way of making those dreary days a little less stressful. All I’m saying is find what works for you. And once you find it, put it to use. We had a treadmill in our old house. I used it all the time. To stack boxes and hang clothes. I got more exercise pulling the handle on the recliner.

Make a commitment to your health the same as you would your partner or career. Decide now you’re going to BE healthy this winter and beyond. Make a plan – it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just a few things you can commit to doing every day to maintain or enhance your health. Yes, we’re all going to die anyway, but wouldn’t it be nice to at least enjoy the ride?

Set aside some time this weekend to assess your current health and formulate a simple plan for making the most of it. Put it in writing and then commit – sign it. You don’t have to show it to anyone else, but put it someplace you’ll see it at least once a day. Okay, if you want a reminder every time you mess up, show it to one of your kids. They’re good at that.

That’s all for now. A lot of us have reached that age where health is much more important than it ever was before. If you’re not that old, you will be, and the decisions you make today will impact your lifestyle once you reach that age. Give yourself a running start. Meanwhile, have an awesome day and an even better weekend!

There’s Happiness in the Little Things

September 25, 2026September 25, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start. I’m vertical with a cup of coffee, so life is good!

You know, sometimes it’s the little things that make us happy, or at least contented. We tend to go through life looking at the big things, thinking if we could just do this or acquire that, life would be perfect. And that’s okay. If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I’m a strong believer in the power of dreams. If not, we need to fix that. I don’t bite!

Yes, it’s important to have dreams. They motivate us to go a step above, to put in that little bit of extra effort that somehow seems to multiply and bring us exponentially closer to our goals. They give us a glimpse of life beyond what we know today. And they have a way of elevating our spirits when life is trying its best to hold us down. We all have those days.

Our dream was to buy a motorhome and explore the country, hopefully finding a place to retire along the way. I kept a picture of a motorhome on my desk where I would see it all day as I was working. It was a constant reminder of what I was working for. Six years ago, that dream came true. We bought the coach, traveled across much of the country, and found our new home.

And that doesn’t mean my dreaming days are over. Not by a long stretch! There are still lots of things I’d like to experience before my time is up, and I plan to check off as many of them as I can. They range in grandeur, from taking my wife on a bucket-list trip to Hawaii all the way to learning how to relocate a live rattlesnake. My wife isn’t so happy about that last one.

And I’ll do those things in a relatively short period of time, simply because at this age you don’t take time for granted. I’ve already had a heart attack and a stroke. The fact that I’m still here tells me God still has plans for me, and I believe one of them is to spread a message of optimism to anybody who’s willing to listen. Especially now, we need all the positivity we can get.

And part of that message should always be to appreciate the blessings that surround us every day. Little things, like a child’s laughter, a spring rain, the sun’s rays peeking through the clouds, chipmunks playing in the yard, birds playing in the air, or the warmth of a summer day. Yes, too much warmth isn’t always comfortable. Neither is snow. But it’s pretty … on postcards.

Beyond that, think of all the people who genuinely care about you. They may be family, friends, mere acquaintances, or even the cleaning lady who always has a kind word as she empties your trash. And it could be somebody you’ve never met. Don’t believe me? Sit down in the middle of a store clutching your chest. You’ll have lots of concerned friends.

Okay, don’t do that. But the point is that we’re surrounded by blessings we don’t always perceive. The secret to happiness lies in our ability to recognize and be grateful for them. And if we’re not finding them where we are, maybe we need to get up and go looking for them. That can be as easy as taking an evening walk or watching kids in the park. Just don’t stare.

Some people may not think they have much to smile about because of health issues, chronic pain, or personal loss. Still, off the top of my head I can think of two women I watched as cancer took its horrendous toll, and they both lived their best life to the very end. We all have challenges. But a challenge isn’t a roadblock – it’s simply daring you to step over.

That’s all for today. I hope you’ll all take time this weekend to immerse yourself in life’s many blessings. They may not make your problems disappear, but problems have a way of fading in the presence of a smile. Try it. And be sure to let me know how it works! Meanwhile, enjoy your day and have an awesome weekend!

Predictability in Life – There’s More Integrity in Politics

August 31, 2026August 31, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! It’s been a while since my last post. I’d like to say I just got lazy again, but life demanded my attention in other areas. It happens.

We said goodbye to a dear friend at the start of summer. She was only 56 and had so much more life ahead of her. But it was her choice to forego treatment this time around, and I know she’s at rest now. That’s the downside to living in a community for older folks. We’re all at that end of life, and saying goodbye gets harder each time.

After a trip to Ohio to watch two of our granddaughters graduate high school, we came home for a couple of weeks before my wife underwent intense abdominal surgery. She spent 26 of the next 28 days in three different hospitals. Two months later, we’re still not there. Anything you’d like to know about the Tucson medical scene? My advice is to stay healthy.

With over $500k in bills starting to come in and a wife needing nearly constant care, I got to navigate the Family Medical Leave Act. I can tell you two things. Caregivers and form filler-outers don’t get paid enough. Those forms are as confusing as they could possibly be, all with the goal of denying your request. Mine was denied four times before they finally gave in a little.

Meanwhile, half of my team at work was laid off. I was likely on that list until my FMLA was approved. Watching 15 people, all younger than me, lose their job while I’m this close to retirement has been hard. They’re all solid professionals and I know they’ll somehow rise to the top. Life is full of detours, but sometimes that’s how we reach the best destinations.

So, how does this all wrap up? Well, one of my granddaughters just had her first day at Ohio State University, and the other just started a new job. My wife has been home for close to six weeks, and she’s still on oxygen 24/7, but she’s getting better week by week. Since my department was dissolved in the layoff, I got moved to another department. For exactly three weeks.

Today is my last Monday in the traditional workforce. I’m officially retiring the end of this week. This is what I’ve worked for the past 54 years, and I’m ready for it. There will be no big celebration at work, no gold watch, likely nothing more than a few emails from coworkers with the requisite “it’s been nice” sentiment. But that’s okay. A week from today, they’ll move forward without me.

As I go through a week of “lasts” at work, I hope I’ll hear from some of the many dear friends I made over the past 10 years. I’ve been reaching out to those I worked most closely with, but some of the best are people I only worked with once or just met in passing. I know I’ll overlook several, because there are too many to list. But I’ll try to catch ‘em all.

Anyway, as of next Monday, this will be my fulltime job. Well, not necessarily a weekly blog, but writing in general. I’ve got a couple of books started, and I’m planning to find my way into some motivational speaking. That’s been my dream for years and, as I’ve said many times in the past, we’re never too old to chase our dreams. A new chapter of life can always begin.

That’s all for now. This has been a little longer than some, and I’ll try to tighten up in the coming weeks. I’ll send you another update Friday as I begin my final day of work. Until then, have an awesome day and an even better week!

Tears or Cheers – They All Count the Same

May 15, 2026May 15, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope you’ve all had an awesome week!

This has been a special week for me. Our granddaughter is graduating high school, and I couldn’t be more proud. I won’t share her life’s details except to say she overcame a mountain of adversity to reach this exciting accomplishment, but she would never have accepted anything less than complete success. I told her the other night she is who I want to be if I ever grow up.

She attended a county career center for the past two years, in a veterinary science program. That means two graduation ceremonies – one for the career center and one for her home school. I don’t mind. It’s not like they’re charging admission. Honestly, I think they missed a huge opportunity there because grandparents would absolutely pay it. I know. I’ve done it.

Her career center ceremony was this past Tuesday. The room was buzzing with anticipation. And then they started playing that song. You know the song. And I was instantly reduced to a blubbering old man who couldn’t form a word if his life depended on it. I haven’t cried that much in a long time, and I’m not ashamed to say it.

So, tonight is her actual high school graduation. Different venue, different participants, different speeches. But one thing won’t change – they’ll start the whole thing off with that song. I’m crying just thinking about it. Ladies, do we get extra “sensitivity” points for crying at the mere thought of crying? There has to be some kind of scale there.

And next week I get to do it all again with our next granddaughter. Different venue, different participants, different speeches … and that song. I’ve come to realize that’s what turns on the waterworks for me, much like a bridal march brings out the macho in women. It’s not the song itself, but the meaning behind it. A beginning and an end. A day they’ll never forget.

You may find this hard to believe, but I used to be fairly critical of the younger generation. Please tell me you find that hard to believe. I don’t know why, and that’s something about my past I wish I could change. For the record, I was equally critical of politicians and CEOs, if that counts for anything.

But when I look at these young people proudly walking across that stage to receive the written proof of their accomplishment, I see diversity and intelligence and passion and, above all, hope for the future. Not so much my future, because I’m closer to the other end than I care to acknowledge. But their future, and their kids’ future. And I think it’s in very capable hands.

There comes a time for all of us when we have to step back and hand over the reins. It’s like the first time sitting in the passenger seat of your car as your teenager adjusts the mirrors. It takes trust, and a lot of love, not to mention a really tight seatbelt. And they won’t get it right every time. But they will get better. And, with very few exceptions, none of their mistakes can’t be fixed.

So, to all the young folks graduating and moving on into the world this week, congratulations! To their parents, woohoo!!! And to their should’ve-retired-at-least-a-year-ago grandfathers, don’t forget to pack some tissues. (I had to write the retirement thing in case my wife reads this.)

That’s all for now, folks. I’ll be back next week with … well, something. Enjoy your day and do something kind for yourself or somebody else. And have an awesome weekend!

When Plans Meet Reality, Keep Stirring

April 2, 2025April 1, 2025 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

In business, each month begins a new set of books. The old month is over and what’s done is done. All we have now are projections for the new month. In most cases, it’s a shot in the dark, like a kid telling you their grades will improve, and their room will be spotless by Friday.

I was once tasked to write a business plan for a corporate expansion – one that, if projections came true, would create more than 1,000 new jobs and result in the local government giving our company a large regional airport for free. I’ll save you some time. The company did expand into the new line of business. And the airport still belongs to the county.

The numbers just didn’t work. If we had hired all those people and put our plan into motion, we would have run out of new customers in a matter of months. And that’s if every potential customer in the nation bought our new product during that time. This wasn’t like Beanie Babies™. It was a mobile data terminal for heavy trucks. Exciting, huh?

My plan showed a profit of more than $20 million in the first six months. Wow! After that, our profit would drop to zero and all those people would be unemployed. So, the boss had an idea. “What if we increase our per-unit cost, and double the time it takes to build each unit?” Well, now we’d lose $13 million in the first six months and would never recoup that loss. Back to the drawing board.

We played with those numbers for a month, and I finally told the boss I sure hope somebody a lot smarter than me would be reviewing the plan. He assured me this is how ALL business plans are written. I find that a bit disturbing. Thank God we weren’t building airplanes. Thank God we weren’t building airplanes.

It’s easy to start new endeavors with an overabundance of excitement. “Wow, I’ll be rich by next Friday! I should buy that new car now before the prices go up!” Thankfully, the practical side of our brain kicks in and brings us back to earth, maybe a little too much. Then we start to doubt the entire premise. “This can’t be that easy. Maybe the whole idea is stupid.” Sound familiar?

The truth is, nothing is ever as easy as it sounds, and nothing ever goes completely according to plan. Just ask NASA. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying. We just need to set realistic expectations and anticipate setbacks. If the idea is sound, it’ll still work. You may just need to tweak it a bit.

Fifty-six years ago, man first walked on the moon. It was a lofty goal. And we’ve all seen video of those early attempts at manned space flight. They weren’t pretty. Your dreams are no less important. You may not reach your goal as quickly as you’d hoped, but if you follow the plan and revise expectations based on experience, success is still out there waiting.

That’s all for now. Keep those dreams alive and never let anything stand in your way, especially your own imagination. Have an awesome day!

Want a Little Cheese With That Whine?

January 15, 2024 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

Depending on where you are in this country, the weather outside is somewhere between freezing and words you’d rather I don’t use here. Believe me, the neighbors have heard them, probably the last time I worked on my truck. Let’s just say I don’t have a lot of patience for things that don’t go according to plan. Or split knuckles. Vehicle maintenance involves both.

We all get frustrated. And when we do, it’s easy to say things we wouldn’t say in church. Oh, we may utter God’s name, but more as a hyphenated adjective. And loud. Nothing eases frustration like announcing our displeasure to the entire neighborhood all at once. Just one more reason I no longer work on my own cars. The neighbors took up a petition. I lost.

Okay, there’s another reason. I’ve found that life is a lot more pleasant when I’m floating in a swimming pool, playing with my grandkids, or simply gazing across the desert at the beauty of nature. Besides, my cardiologist suggested I find more ways to avoid stress. He didn’t exactly prescribe the bourbon, but I’ve been running my own tests. So far, the data is leaning my way.

We’ve all met people who go through life as if every waking moment is another reason to complain. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. Gas is too expensive. The boss is too cheap. And everybody and everything in this world exists for the sole purpose of ticking them off. Do yourself a favor. If you’re around these people when the news comes on, find the nearest exit and run!

I’ve always been into motivational reading and positive thinking. I can’t say it’s always shone through in my daily life, but I try. And I used to think I could spread some of that positivity to those who seem to have been cheated at birth. But the fact is, angry people aren’t born that way – they’re miserable by choice. It’s like a menu item that nobody wants, so they swallow everybody’s share.

In our discussions about living our best life, it should be obvious that this mindset doesn’t fit. You can’t enjoy life if you’re unhappy with everybody and everything life has to offer. To live that way is more crippling than a crushed spine. There is no joy, because that would only remind them of what they’ve been missing their entire life. There’s only misery. And it’s always somebody else’s fault.

Bitterness is a poison. We all know how it affects us emotionally, but the physical effects are even more damaging. It causes headaches, high blood pressure, and all manner of illness. In fact, the National Institutes of Health noted that 75-90 percent of illness is caused by anger and stress. And the effects on the heart are even more devastating. Seems like a lot of misery for … well, you know.

None of us are immune to disappointment. That’s just a part of life. It’s what we do with that disappointment that counts. We can keep it in perspective and focus on things that offer a higher level of serenity. Or we can nurture it and allow it to grow into the cancer of resentment. Choose happiness. Our days on this planet are numbered, anyway. We might as well enjoy the ride.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day and an even better week!

It’s Your Year – Make it Count!

January 1, 2024January 1, 2024 by Dave Glardon, posted in Motivational Humor

Good morning, and happy New Year! I hope wherever you are, your day is off to a blessed start.

I know, I don’t usually write posts on holidays. But, being relegated to my own little corner in my own little chair (at the kitchen table) because of Covid, I find myself with all this creative energy and the need to do something constructive with it. I just hope this continues throughout 2024. The creative energy, not the Covid. All I can say is thank God for modern medicine. I’m much better.

I used to tell everyone my only New Year’s resolution was never to make another New Year’s resolution. It seemed to be the only one I could actually keep for 12 months. Over the years, I’ve resolved to get healthy (does surviving a stroke count?), write a book (don’t rush out to the store just yet), build my business (okay, laugh), and lose weight. That last one is the biggest joke of all.

I still want to do all those things, but I’ve learned you can’t just make a wish and expect those things to happen. Believe me, I’ve rubbed the finish off enough lamps over the years to realize there’s no genie waiting inside to magically grant my wishes. The only way for any of this to happen is for me to get up a little earlier each day and make it happen. So far all I’ve done is eat an earlier breakfast.

But you know, it all starts with a mindset. We can’t simply want to succeed; we have to focus on the reasons we want to succeed. Change for the sake of change is doomed to fail. I have a few bosses who could stand to learn that one. But change, based on a clear understanding of what was wrong in the first place, at least stands a chance. I’m not buying bigger pants. How’s that for motivation?

The other thing to keep in mind is that you can’t torment yourself to the achievement of a goal. You have to lighten up. That’s why I try so hard (and not always so successfully) to inject a little humor in what would be an otherwise boring message. It’s impossible to be miserable when you laugh. Okay, abdominal stitches aside. A comedy club is not the place to be right after hernia surgery.

But as a standup comedian, I usually ended my show by reminding my audience of the importance of laughter. I once did a tour with gout in both feet so bad I was nearly crippled. But from the start of my shows until the end, there was no pain – just exhilaration. Sure, the pain came back later, usually with a vengeance. “I’ll teach you to ignore me!” Oh well. It was worth it.

The point is, no matter what your goals for the coming year, face them with a sense of humor. Get rid of that contorted face and stop telling everyone how hard you’re working and what you’re giving up. Nobody wants to hear it, and it’s not doing you any favors, either. Just focus on the reason and enjoy the journey. Who knows? You might even make a few new friends along the way.

I have some dear friends whose health challenges this past year make mine look like a walk in the park. Some of them have no idea what the future may bring, but they’re still out there making the most of each day, because they can. So can you. No matter what 2023 threw your way, you made it this far. So, put a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and get on with life. You ain’t dead yet.

That’s all for now, friends. May 2024 bring you all peace, prosperity, health, and happiness. Have an awesome day!

P.S. Those of you who have been with me over the years know how much I love hearing from you. I don’t write these posts for me – it’s all for you. Your feedback helps keep me inspired and on track. And if you know anybody who could use a little more positivity in their life, please share this link and invite them to come along. Together, we can make this thing rock!

You Ain’t Dead Yet!

December 11, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Monday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

To say 2023 has been a challenge is an understatement. Of course, we say that every year as if it’s something new and insightful. But it’s true. No matter how hard we try to make things better, life has a way of throwing a wrench in the spokes. And the faster you’re going, the harder the fall. It’s physics. Blame Sir Isaac Newton. He’s dead, anyway.

It’s been six months since my stroke, and two things are obvious. First, I’m not as young as I used to be. Second, I’m still kicking. I need to remind myself of that every day. Sure, my body has seen finer days. Along with my youth, I’ve said farewell to my upper-body strength, my ability to follow a conversation, and that unruffled demeanor I embodied my whole life. Okay, and my memory, too.

I never really felt my age until this year. Sure, I’ve seen the changes in the mirror. Funny, I don’t notice all that gray hair until I go to the barber. I used to wish they had clippers that just cut out the gray and leave the rest, but if they did, I’d come away looking like Vin Diesel. That would be okay if I had his physique to go with it. Let’s face it, my biceps are turning gray, too.

Another thing about getting old – every time doctors test for one thing, they find something else. I’m still not sure how a brain scan showed testosterone deficiency, but they managed to find a way. Okay, the doc calls it an enlarged aorta. In other words, my heart is ticking in more ways than one. And I’m not allowed to lift more than 30 pounds, ever. Not that I could before, but still.

Yet through it all, though, one fact remains – I’m still breathing. I still have the ability to get out of bed every morning, however slowly. I still work, though I don’t always remember what I did yesterday. And I just drove 1800 miles in two days, mostly because I kept getting lost. You’re welcome, Exxon.

So, I’m not as nimble as I used to be. Who cares? I’m still alive, and with each new day comes a new opportunity to try something different. Sure, the results will be mixed. But that adds a level of excitement. Like stepping into the bull ring and finding out how fast you can run. I already know the answer to that. I couldn’t outrun a gerbil with a five-second head start.

We only have a certain amount of time left on this planet. How we spend that time is a choice we make. I may not be able to climb a mountain, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stand at the bottom and appreciate its beauty. Or just turn a bull loose and maybe I can climb better than I think. You never know.

As long as we’re breathing, we’re not done. And everything is possible until we prove otherwise. Challenge yourself. Instead of accepting a self-imposed set of limitations, stretch those limits. Change your mindset and you can change your life. It’s easy. Just get up each morning (however slowly), stand in front of a mirror, and repeat after me … “You ain’t dead yet!”

That’s all for now, folks. Thumb your nose at whatever is standing in your way, then tell me all about it. Let’s face this beast together. Meanwhile, have an awesome day!