Dreams – Dave Glardon

The Early Bird Gets to Swim

March 27, 2023March 27, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day, and your week, is off to a good start.

While most of the country is about caught up after losing an hour of sleep, some of us couldn’t be satisfied with that. Last week I fired up the RV and headed west. Two time zones so far, and one more this coming weekend. So, while everyone at work is starting their day at a leisurely 8:00, my days will start at 5. I know. Some of us are too stupid for our own good.

Yes, the days start earlier. But they end earlier, too. And when there’s a pool within walking distance that’s heated to just the perfect temperature (usually by the sun), 2:00 is a good time to step away from the computer. Believe me, I use that pool just about every day. I don’t really even swim. I just lounge in the water for a couple of hours simply because I can.

We all learned the concept of sacrifice and rewards as children. Stay away from the candy dish now, and your fingers will feel better later. With me, candy was for rookies. I learned at the age of 4 not to plug suitcase keys into the wall outlet. As I sat in a daze on the other side of the room still seeing that bright flash, I gained a full understanding of cause and effect. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

As we get older, those lessons change. Through the teenage years, the goal is simple – have fun and don’t get caught. I was pretty good at that one. But then we hit some point in adulthood where we start to grasp the fundamentals of banking. You have to put something in to take something out. That’s pretty much true of everything in life.

We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to living the life of our dreams. I’m not talking about lottery-level wealth. I’m talking about comfort, good health, close relationships, and the ability to enjoy what the boss calls “work-life balance.” It could be as grand as a European vacation, or as simple as an afternoon dip in the pool. You decide what the “good life” is. And you decide which sacrifices are worth it.

Within the laws of physics, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. You just have to make those deposits. The more you put in, the more you can take back out. That may be as simple as getting up a little earlier or working a little later. It may mean taking a calculated risk. And it may mean burning the midnight oil after the kids are asleep. But if the dream is vivid enough, the way will present itself.

That’s all for now. Have yourself an awesome day!

Tomorrow is Here – Get Busy!

March 10, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

So, there was an segment on the news last night about an asteroid that may or may not crash into the earth sometime in the year 2046. You know, in case you had plans for 2047. Okay, there’s about an 8 percent chance we’ll be in its path. Seems to me we could just step on the gas and get out of the way or blast it toward Pluto. Nobody liked that one anyway.

I would like to think I’ll be around to see what really happens. I would be 88 by then, so I’m not placing any bets. But I think we all tend to live our lives as if tomorrow is pretty much in the bag, even if “tomorrow’ is 8,400 days away. People ask all the time if you knew today would be your last day, what would you do differently? Well, sorry folks. I can’t say that out loud. But you can bet it would be fun!

We were asked that question in a class one time. I remember saying I’d go skydiving. My wife even offered to pack the parachute. This is the same woman who once gave me a gift certificate to the office of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, and I don’t know if she’s ever seen a parachute up close. Let’s just say she wasn’t a fan of my mid-life adjustment.

It amazes me sometimes how we put our complete faith in people we’ve never met, from airline pilots to investment brokers, or even astrologists. Yes, that’s the word I meant to use. I don’t argue with astrophysicists. They’re good at math.

The point to all this is, none of us knows for sure what tomorrow will bring. Sure, it may bring illness or heartache. But odds are, it’ll be another fairly routine day in a fairly routine life. If we want it to be anything more than that, today is the day to set the wheels in motion. From the driver’s seat, thank you. This is not the time to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Weekends are a great time for rest and reflection. Okay, they’re a great time to catch up on all the stuff you didn’t get done during the week. But they’re also the perfect time to sit back, have a drink, and focus on our dreams. You may or may not come up with a perfect plan for achieving those dreams. But nothing happens unless we try.

No, tomorrow is not guaranteed. But if tomorrow comes, wouldn’t it be nice to spend it doing something you love? You can. We all can. It just takes a little imagination and commitment. The rest is easy.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

You Can’t Get Up if You Never Fall

February 13, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! Hope your day is going well.

If you’re in the USA and you’re not living under a rock, you’ve probably heard something about a football game yesterday. A big one. And, as usual, the jury of public opinion is still out on who really won.

Football has always been a bit of a mystery to me. I mean, I get the game and how it’s played. Twenty-two guys with the combined weight of a tugboat face off, separated by an imaginary line, waiting for the fat guy in the middle to toss the ball behind him. Never mind where the quarterback’s hands are all this time. You don’t want to try that one at work.

When the ball finally leaves the ground, these grunting beasts spring into action and try to knock somebody down. Anybody. Preferably the guy with the ball. You get extra credit for that. And then, the guy who sprinted six yards with the ball tucked under his arm goes to the sideline for oxygen. And they call these guys athletes???

The best part is, they only have to “work” for about ten seconds and then they get a break. And if that’s not enough, they can call time-out or pretend to be hurt. That doesn’t work for me. “Boss, I hurt my knee on that one!” “How? You were taking notes!”

But for these guys, the Super Bowl is the culmination of everything they’ve worked for. Every dream, every workout, every smack in the head, all aimed toward one goal – making it into the big game. At that point, the score doesn’t even matter. They’ve already won.

Football is a game of stamina, determination, and the willingness to keep getting back up, even when it hurts. Concussions are common, but in this sport, brain damage appears to be a pre-existing condition. Still, it’s a dream they’ve lived for most of their life, so who am I to poke fun? Besides, they’re a lot bigger than I am. I only look stupid.

But if you ever doubt the power of dreams, the Super Bowl is a perfect example of what we can accomplish. Every one of those guys on the field was once a young boy, barely able to walk. They didn’t start as athletes, and most were probably advised to “go to school and get a real job.” But the dream was too big to be held down.

How about you? Is your dream important enough to do something about it? Is it important enough to get knocked down and stand back up? Football isn’t a game of intellect. It’s about grit and determination and the will to succeed. Get some of that, and there’s not much that can stand in your way.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Success is a Lot Easier if You Try

February 10, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

While the rest of the world is coming to terms with things like rising prices, falling water levels, snowstorms, earthquakes, and disgraced politicians, I’m facing the challenge of a lifetime … getting more people to read my posts. I know, it’s tough. But, because I’m convinced the world is a better place when we combine hope and laughter, I’m doing my part to save humanity.

A little over the top, maybe, but you get the idea. Why do anything if you don’t believe in it? Why spend your days doing a job if nobody cares? Why raise kids if there’s no hope for the future? Why go to church if we’re all doomed? These are questions for the great thinkers of our time. And I hope they have some answers, because I’m not getting any younger. Just ask my wife.

So, given that I’ve already decided I believe in what I’m doing, it seems appropriate to invest a little time in learning just a fraction of what people like Justin Bieber already seem to know … how do you get complete strangers to jump on the bandwagon without spending a fortune in advertising? And believe me, the internet is full of advice, but you have to be much more fluent in geek speak than I’ll ever be.

Build a mailing list! Great, how do I do that? Get people to a landing page! A what? Send targeted ads on social media! Give people a reason to sign up! Offer an incentive! You mean something more valuable than my mere presence in the world???

Okay, that was mostly for fun. I’m not expecting anybody to offer up the magical solution to helping me reach a wider audience, but it backs up an earlier point. Why do anything if you don’t believe in it? And if you do believe in it, why not at least try?

I love talking to people about their dreams. But when I ask what they’re doing to accomplish those dreams, the fire in their eyes goes away. “Oh, I’ve looked at a few different things, but I’m not sure they’ll work … at least not for me.” See, they throw that last part in there because they know what’s next. “It works for some people!”

The quickest way to lose that belief is to sit on an idea until it crushes beneath you. Do something about it. Give it an honest effort. It may or may not be the magical solution you’ve been searching for, but there’s only one way you’ll ever know for sure.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Destiny – the Shortest Path to Where You Don’t Want to Be

January 23, 2023January 23, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your Monday is starting off well.

Reusable toilet paper. Can I get an amen? Yeah, I just wanted to grab your attention. That was the topic of a story on the news this morning, right after a segment about the resurgence of paper maps. We’re saving trees on one end, and killing them on the other. What gives?

Everything old comes around again. I’m still waiting for powder-blue leisure suits to come back in style. Yes, I had one. And no, I couldn’t get one leg in those pants, much less my whole butt. Guess that’s God’s way of keeping me from making an even bigger fool of myself.

I still keep paper maps in the RV. Okay, I also use a GPS. It’s not like I need the directions, unless I’m trying to stay on I-75 through Atlanta. Every five seconds – “Be in either of the right two lanes. Stay on the road. THIS road. DO NOT EXIT! Now cross over all eight lanes and exit left to stay on … you know …”

So yes, maps can come in handy. But reusable toilet paper? Folks, I use some pretty good laundry detergent, and that stuff isn’t going in my washing machine. That’s what laundromats are for. Of course, my wife is quick to point out that my underwear gets washed. Don’t think too hard on that.

Okay, I wanted to start the week on a light note, and it looks like the news beat me to it. But you know, we take life too seriously sometimes. That’s one of the reasons I started writing humor 25 years ago. Okay, it was because I’m not an expert in anything else. Sometimes, you play the hand you’re dealt.

It’s what some folks call destiny … the notion that we’re born into a certain life, and we’re pre-ordained to fulfill that destiny. Well, let me just get this out. Destiny sucks! Destiny is just one more imaginary thing on which to blame our lot in life. It means life is plowing forward, and we’re just along for the ride.

Life is what we make of it, and destiny is about as firm as a pile of mashed potatoes. You can shape it any way you want. You just have to accept the fact that you’re in control, and then let your dreams paint a picture of the life you desire.

That’s my hope for each of you as we begin a new week. We’re all on a path to somewhere. We may not have paved the road, but we can certainly choose the destination. And once that destination is firmly in your mind, the rest is pretty easy. Just be sure to bring along plenty of TP.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Yes, You Really ARE Worthy!

January 16, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning. Or afternoon, depending on your time zone. Hope your day is starting off well.

I didn’t sleep this late, though I did sleep later than normal. That’s what happens when you sit up watching a movie until the wee hours. I used to do that all the time. But I’ve reached that point of equilibrium where cause and effect become one. In other words, if you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta to be tough.

There were years in my life when I could party all night and get up in the morning. But somewhere along the line, my body introduced me to the concept of consequences. When I woke up with a headache, I could usually admit I had it coming. And then came the days I woke up with a hangover for no good reason. What’s up with that?

We all tend to think we get what we deserve. Okay, just the good stuff. I get it. But when I climb the single flight of stairs from my office to the kitchen (don’t be nosey), I can honestly say I deserve all that huffing and puffing. The pounding in my chest? Yeah, I’m still looking for somebody to pin that on.

It’s good when we can admit our mistakes and accept the consequences. But what happens when life throws something really good our way? “You’re so lucky!” Yeah, that must be it. The gods were searching for somebody completely unworthy on whom to bestow a stroke of good fortune, and you just happened to stumble in the way. What a lucky dog!

And I think that’s what stops a lot of us from pursuing our goals. Why should good luck fall on me? What have I done to deserve it? What’s so special about me?

Well, that depends. If all you did was buy a winning lottery ticket, that’s luck. But most of us tend to put a little more methodical effort into our achievements. We get up a little earlier, go to bed a little later, and work just a little harder. When others are on the porch enjoying a cold beer, we’re putting in that little bit of extra effort. So, why not you?

The first step in achieving a dream is realizing you deserve it. If there’s any nice thing in this world, material or not, you deserve it just as much as the next person. We are not pre-ordained at birth to a life of mediocrity. We’re destined to live the life we’ve built.

Every one of us is worthy of the best life has to offer. All you have to do is go out and get it.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Life is Too Short for Simple Dreams

January 13, 2023January 12, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! It’s Friday again! Hope your day is off to a great start.

Those of you who know me best know I can conjure up some pretty wild fantasies when I want to. Not the kind that would embarrass my wife. I do a good enough job of that just trying to be serious. I’m talking about the kind that leave people scratching their head and thinking, “Is he delusional?”

Yes, I’m a dreamer. Dad reminded me of that every time I set my sights on anything people who work for a living could never afford. Okay, some of those dreams were “out there.” A waterfront mansion with my own yacht and a helicopter to fly me to my private jet may have been a bit optimistic. Especially at the age of 17. Why do you think I wanted to be a rock star?

Over the years, my dreams have changed. Not necessarily because of my bank account. That’s a dynamic situation that changes almost daily. And, while some days are better than others, the years have treated me well. But dreams change as we grow. That’s just a natural part of life. But there are still things I want.

What would your dreams be if you knew you couldn’t fail? That’s an interesting thought. It implies two things. First, that we can actually control what we dream about (we can), and second, that our dreams are usually limited by our current income (they are).

We’ve all heard that whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve. I love that quote, but in deference to Napoleon Hill, I have to respectfully disagree. There are things that, no matter how hard we try, we will NEVER be able to accomplish. Ever wished you could sprout wings and fly? Well, keep dreaming.

But that aside, there isn’t much we can’t accomplish if we put our mind to it and follow through with deliberate action. Want a bigger house? You can do it. Want a fancy car, or a European vacation? It’s yours. Want to retire at the age of 30 and spend the rest of your days on the beach? Well, if your 30^th birthday is next week, you may need a couple more months.

The life you’re living today is largely the life you dreamed of. If it’s not, now would be a good time to revisit those dreams. Go to an open house. Visit a boat show. Pick up a travel magazine. Don’t worry about how you’ll do it. There’s plenty of time for that next week. But if you’re going to dream, then dream big! The effort is the same either way.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome weekend!

Got Twenty Seconds???

January 9, 2023January 9, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Monday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

While you folks were (hopefully) relaxing, I spent 16 hours on the road Saturday, leaving the warmth of central Florida for the bitter cold of Ohio. I guess I really am as stupid as I look.

Let’s just get this out now – I don’t like winter. In fact, I pretty much despise it. Oh yeah, I remember years ago growing up in south Florida, longing for the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air … Yes, I’ve watched that movie a few times too many.

When I joined the Navy, my dad told me something I’ll never forget. “The best two duty stations in the world are the one you just left and the one you’re going to.” Or, in simpler terms, the grass is always greener over the septic tank. Thank you Erma Bombeck for that tidbit of perspective.

Our comfort zone is a double-edged sword. It gets us through the day with a minimum of stress, and it also keeps us from accomplishing much of anything. For every worthwhile achievement, you had to do something that stretched your level of comfort. And, even if the goal ended up being a little less than what you’d envisioned, you still grew as a result.

As most of you know, I was a stand-up comedian for the better part of 16 years. Believe me when I say that first time onstage was WAY outside my comfort zone. It took nine years and almost 1000 shows to get past the jitters. But it was something I wanted badly enough to work through it. And I’m glad I did.

If there’s something you want that isn’t immediately within reach, you’ll have to step outside your comfort zone. Matt Damon’s character said it best in the movie We Bought a Zoo … “all it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage.”

Twenty seconds to embrace a vision. Twenty seconds to consider an opportunity. Twenty seconds to post your resume online. Twenty seconds to get down on one knee and pop the question. Twenty seconds to sign your name to the contract. Twenty seconds to trap a spider. Twenty seconds.

Sure, there’s more to come after that. But that initial twenty seconds of courage is all it takes to get past the fear and start turning the life you want into the life you’re working toward. The more you face those fears, the less courage it takes. There comes a day when it’s second nature. And that’s when dreams begin turning into reality.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Is “Coffee” Keeping You From Your Dreams?

April 21, 2021 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good afternoon! I hope your day is going well.

My day already started better than yesterday. Picture yourself at 5 AM, standing in front of the coffee maker, patiently waiting for that first cup, and just as the pot starts to make the familiar sound of water heating to the perfect temperature, the power goes out. What??? Are you kidding me??? Now??? It’s pretty much the way I felt when I had my heart attack, except I wasn’t going through caffeine withdrawal at the time.

Few things can mess up my day faster than missing my morning coffee. And it wasn’t a complete power outage that would resolve itself as soon as the power was restored. This was inside my RV, limited to the outlets along one wall – the wall where the coffee pot is plugged in. I swear I heard God chuckling. “Wanna see something funny? Watch this!”

Worse still, that was also the wall where the appliances plug in. So, not only did I miss my morning coffee, I wasn’t able to make breakfast, either. Yes, I have cereal. I didn’t want cereal. I wanted eggs, and that requires plugging in an electric skillet. You know, in the wall with no power.

Check the circuit breakers, you say? I did. Four times, just in case one was playing possum. I checked the ground-fault plug in the bathroom. I checked the shore power outside. I even fired up the generator, hoping a double-dose of electricity would somehow set things right. Yes, I know better. But desperate times call for irrational measures.

The problem was a breaker on the power inverter. It was nice of the manufacturer to put that in the “owner’s manual.” Okay, it would have been nice if they’d actually written one. They didn’t. And whose idea was it to hide the inverter behind a nondescript panel in an outside compartment where nobody would think to look for it? It was like an Easter egg hunt with NO COFFEE.

I have this image of myself as a carefree spirit who adapts on the fly to whatever is happening at the moment. I guess that’s part of the attraction to RV living. New faces, new places, and new adventures around every bend. As long as those adventures don’t get in the way of my morning routine. There’s plenty of time for that after I’ve had some caffeine.

We all have routines. Some are good, some not so good, and some just are. Regardless, they’re all a part of our day and as much as we’d like to be spontaneous, those routines have a sort of sacred importance. Don’t believe me? Invite my brother to dinner when there’s a ball game on TV. Tell my grandkids we’re out of vitamins. Or ask me to start the day without … well, you know.

Routines are good, to the extent that we know what to expect at a given point in the day. But when we allow those routines to get in the way of other things we want more, they become a liability. Bowling is fun, but is it leading you closer to your dreams or standing in the way? I guess that depends how much you love throwing a 16-pound ball at a rack of wooden pins.

But there are only so many hours in a day, and the question we all have to answer for ourselves is whether we’re spending that time or investing it. And there is no “right” answer, other than how that time fits into our long-term goals. Success doesn’t mean you can never have fun. It just means deciding for yourself what’s more important over the long haul.

If your dream is to become an awesome bowler, there’s your answer. But if there’s something bigger you want out of life, something that will take some time and effort, then you might need to reassess your approach. Besides, if your dream involves extra time and money, you can bowl all you want later.

It’s amazing how many times people have shared a dream, but when you suggest a possible means of achieving that dream, their first response is, “I don’t have time.” Well, we all get the same 168 hours in a week. The majority of that time is consumed with things we have to do. Nothing we can do about that. But it’s how we use those remaining hours that makes the difference.

I doubt your dreams will fall apart if you set aside time for coffee. And I doubt those dreams will fall apart if the coffee maker is broken. But beyond that daily routine, are there things we do just as automatically that really do impact our goals? Spend time or invest it. That’s a choice we all make whether we intend to or not. How important are your dreams? There’s only one way to find out.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Close, But No Cigar!

April 14, 2021April 14, 2021 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Hump Day! I hope your day is off to a great start.

So, last Thursday my wife and I finally got our first Covid vaccine. Yes, we’re a little late, given our age, but we’re traveling and that adds a bit of complexity. Still, we got it done, without any bad effects, and now I can reassure others that I’ve been vaccinated. Okay, half-vaccinated. We still have another shot to go. But that’s just a formality, right?

Actually, no. It’s not just a formality. It’s an important part of the treatment that more than doubles our immunity to the virus. That doesn’t mean we’ll never get sick. It just means we’re that much less likely to contract the virus and, if we do, it should be somewhat less intense. That’s comforting.

My wife would be the first to say I’m good at getting started, but I tend to fall down before I reach the finish line. Apparently, we don’t entirely agree on the notion of “close enough.” My backyard shed is a perfect example. My grandson and I built it from scratch and it’s beautiful. Well, it will be once I finish installing the trim. C’mon, it’s only been four years!

There’s just that part of my brain that says when something is usable, the pressure is off. I ripped up all the carpet in our house and replaced it with laminate flooring. It looks great! Well, it will once I finish installing the trim. I had to remove the baseboards to get the job done, and half are still missing. C’mon, it’s only been twelve years! Wow, did I say that out loud?

Yesterday we talked about those baby steps, and that any progress toward a goal is something to be celebrated. But we also acknowledged that time is not a completely unlimited resource, and if we hope to accomplish our goal by a certain time, we may need to speed things up a bit. At my age, I need a jet pack.

There are times when “close enough” is truly close enough. The game of horseshoes relies heavily on this concept. Steering a mammoth container ship through the Suez Canal – not so much. That one has to be exact. And they pretty much expect you to finish what you started. You can’t stop halfway through and say, “Yeah, but look how far we got!”

We’d never think of using that on the job. When the boss gives us an assignment, they pretty much expect us to finish it. Trim isn’t optional. And, while they may appreciate the progress we’ve made and how hard we worked to get there, the job still isn’t done. And that’s what they’ll remember when it comes time for our annual review.

So, here’s the question – if you were paying somebody else to accomplish your own personal goals, how long would they be employed if they worked at those goals as hard as you do? That’s a tough one to bite off, because for most of us, the answer is “not long.” But hey, you gave it an honest effort and that’s worth something, right?

Well, it depends. If my goal is to save a million dollars and I only save half that much, that’s pretty respectable. I don’t know of too many people who would hang their head in shame. On the other hand, if I needed the entire million to build my dream house, it’s not going to happen. I can either get back to work or ditch my plans and start over.

Yet, when it comes to our dreams, we allow ourselves a certain amount of leeway for coming up short. “I tried. And in the beginning, I was getting a lot done! But I just wasn’t able to make it happen.” You weren’t able, or you just didn’t follow through? There’s a difference.

Driving through the mountains is rarely up one side and down the other. You reach the top of first hill, only to see six more ahead of you. And there may be a dozen more behind them. Now, if your only goal was to climb one hill, you’re there. Mission accomplished. But if you wanted to reach the other side, you’ve still got some work to do.

That first step is critical, but it’s no more important than every other step along the way. There’s a starting line and a finish line, and you have to cross both before you can take a bow. Sure, goals sometimes change, and that’s okay if your dream has changed. But don’t short-change your dreams because there’s another hill to climb.

Somewhere along that mountain drive, you crest one final hill and see clear sailing ahead. At that point, all those hills behind you are a distant memory. But if you stop too soon, you may never know how close you came. Your dream deserves that extra mile. And you know what? So do you.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!