Traffic – Dave Glardon

Good morning! I hope your day is starting off nicely. You know, we do have more control over that than we’d like to admit.

My daughter sent a video this morning of a father dropping his kids off at school, telling them, “It takes no effort to be kind, so don’t be a (jerk).” Yeah, that last word wasn’t fit for print. But you get the idea. The next second, he’s driving home, blowing the horn, yelling at other drivers, and just generally being a (jerk).

I don’t think she sent it as a message to me personally, but it still hit me between the eyes. Yes, I am generally kind. I encourage others to be kind. And I try to avoid situations that may bring out the (jerk) in me. Because let’s face it. Under the right circumstances, we all have that little demon inside, just begging to get loose.

My pastor used to read my humor columns back in the day, and he especially liked the ones where I expressed my displeasure with (jerks) on the road. I found my way into his sermons more than once, usually in a joking way, but it’s really not that funny. Trust me, I live it.

Back then, my oldest grandson wasn’t quite four, and was with me one day when the guy in front of me insisted on driving a full 2 MPH below the speed limit. Okay, it was more than that, but it’s my story. I finally said, “Would you please move?” and my grandson piped in with the “perfect” solution … “Flip ‘em off!” I wish I was making that up.

In fairness, he didn’t learn that from me. I always checked to see if he was watching first. But it was still a lesson I needed to learn. Some days, I still do. I’ve decided patience isn’t so much a virtue as a work in progress. It’s a mindset we have to adopt, embrace, and build upon every day. And about the time we start feeling smug, some idiot slams on their brakes for no reason.

I guess the first step in building patience is understanding that most inconsiderate acts are not directed at us, personally. Oh, there’s always that person who tries to mess up your day for fun, but you never know what misfortune life just dealt them. On the other hand, if they do it over and over, aim for the kneecaps. With your foot. What did you think I meant?

Believe it or not, most people don’t spend their day looking in the rearview for somebody to impede. They park their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle because something caught their eye. They walk down the middle of the parking lot because they can’t see their car. And they sit at a green light for two seconds because they’re in deep thought.

Believe me, there are enough (jerks) out there who were never taught the premise of consideration. But it’s not quite fair to blame momentary lapses in manners on intentional (jerkiness). We all make mistakes, and when we do, we’d appreciate an assumption of innocence. The question is, what do we do when the shoe is on the other foot?

The answer is simple – breathe. When traffic backs up, there’s always a reason. And the reason is usually that somebody is having a much worse day than you are. When a person isn’t moving out of your way, they may be experiencing a medical issue. And usually, when somebody is genuinely nasty, it’s typically a programmed reaction to something they experienced.

And therein lies the solution – we can’t control how other people act. All we can control is our reaction to it. We can fire back with an equally offensive remark (or gesture), or we can offer a positive response that may give them pause to think. We can try to score points or realize that the true winner is the one who walks away with a sense of inner calm.

Most of us try to be kind in person. It’s when we’re on the phone with customer service, offering an online rebuttal to comments from others, in the relative safety of our locked car, or relating a scenario to somebody else who wasn’t even there, that we find our true level of kindness. Myself? I need to work on it a bit. And I hope I never stop.

That’s all for now. The next time you find yourself on the receiving end of something you can’t control, take a breath and then control the only thing you can. You’ll live longer, and those years will be a lot more pleasant as a result. Have a fantastic day!

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

For most of us in the US, our circadian rhythms are all out of whack again. It’s amazing the difference one hour can make. Looking outside at 7:30 and it’s still dark just doesn’t feel right. There ought to be a law. I say we go back to bed and sleep that extra hour until the sun catches up. Funny, morning traffic seems to catch up quite nicely. It doesn’t miss a beat.

I haven’t been out for the morning drive in a while, and I have to admit that was pretty nice. I’ll be back out there in a couple of weeks, though, with one foot on the gas, the other on the brake, right hand on the wheel and left hand hanging out the window. You know … signaling a left-hand turn. You believe me, right?

I always used to wonder about all those people darting in and out of traffic, putting everybody else’s life at risk just to beat them to the exit ramp so they can slam on their brakes and stop right next to us at the light. Hopefully they’re that energetic when they actually get to work. I doubt it. They’re the ones who leave an empty coffee pot and swipe the last donut.

I remember driving home from work one day, and everybody else was going a lot faster than I was. Oh, I was doing the speed limit, but I was staying in my lane and just driving. You know, like an old man. Finally, it occurred to me. It’s not because they’re younger and more agile. It’s because they’re not going home to teenage kids. And apparently, they can afford the ticket.

No matter where we’re going, we always seem to be in a hurry to get there. So much so that, yesterday morning, we set our clocks an hour ahead. If we did that every week, I’d be 102. And, while I hope I can live that long, I’m not in that much of a hurry to get there. Life is going by fast enough, thank you. I’m ready to slow down and start enjoying it a little more.

Granted, there are times when we need to get somewhere fast. Like when you get out of work last and dinner is waiting. I’m kidding. Dinner is never ready. Well, unless you’re running late and it’s something that tastes better hot. And yes, we have a microwave. But some things don’t play nicely in the microwave. Ever try biting into a chunk of silicone?

Still, there are times when we’re legitimately in a hurry. But more often than not, we put ourselves in that situation by choices we made. Like leaving for work at the last possible minute and then expecting everybody else to get out of your way. I know, I sound like my dad. He always used to tell me if the car backfired one time, I’d be late. He was right.

Traffic is a fact of life. Tires go flat, batteries go dead, and every now and then Mother Nature decides to throw a wrench in the spokes. Any one of them can mess up your day. But if we’d just anticipate those things and leave a little earlier, we could start our day with a lot less stress and get to work in one piece. Early. Oh, the horror! Now I really DO sound like an old man.

Well, here’s the thing. The first person there gets the freshest cup of coffee. The pot’s never empty, you get your choice of the best stuff in the vending machine, and you can pretty much park wherever you want. So, what if you can’t clock in early? Take a newspaper, check your email, read my morning post – whatever. Breathe. Start your day on your own terms.

Somebody once said Heaven must be a great place because we’re all dying to get there. And you know what? You’ll get there soon enough. Even the idiot on the road who’s making your life miserable. But as the title of a 1978 movie suggests, Heaven can wait. It’ll still be there. So will work, and dinner, and the school play, and all the other things we’re rushing to enjoy.

An old Mac Davis song warned, “You’re gonna find your way to Heaven is a rough and rocky road if you don’t stop and smell the roses along the way.” Breathe. Slow down. Take time to appreciate what’s in front of you right now, even if it’s a line of stopped cars. Every minute we rush through life puts us a minute closer to the end. Enjoy it before those minutes are gone.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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Tag: Traffic

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