Tag: Living

Act Your Own Age, Not Mine

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning!  I hope you enjoyed the best of whatever you celebrate this holiday season and are eagerly anticipating the start of what could very well be your best year ever.  You just have to want it.

Some of you have noticed a change in my approach to these messages.  Based on comments, both online and in person, I think I may be onto something.  It’s really simple.  No matter what life has thrown your way, the very fact that you’re able to read this proves one thing – you ain’t dead yet.

These words aren’t only for old folks who, like me, wake up every day with body aches and a foggy brain that remind us we’re not as young as we once were.  Okay, I really don’t need the daily reminders.  Yes, I’m old enough for Medicare.  I know that.  My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be, but the bathroom mirror doesn’t lie.  Neither does the scale, but that’s another story.

Living in a 55+ community, I’ve come to realize that living your best life isn’t something we trade in for a senior discount card.  We still party.  We still dance.  And we’re known to sip an adult beverage or two.  It doesn’t matter.  In a park where most people travel by golf cart, nobody cares if you can balance on one foot as long as you can find your own driveway.  So far, I’ve only missed once.

You know what we don’t have?  People sitting around, commiserating about their gout and goiters.  I’ve seen people who are nearly crippled out there walking the streets with friends every morning.  I’ve seen them wood carving and quilting in spite of their arthritis.  And I’ve seen old men flirting with great-grandmothers.  Sometimes it even works.  I won’t lie – I’m taking notes.

Yet, living among all those old farts, I have to travel outside our gates into the “real” world to find people who are truly handicapped.  I’m not talking about the stuff that gets you a special parking spot.  Those are at least real.  I’m talking about the handicaps living in a dark place in our mind that we don’t discuss with professionals who could at least slap some sense into us. 

Let’s face it, some people are miserable simply because they choose to live that way.  They couldn’t get invited to a funeral if they were the guest of honor.  Nobody wants to be around them.  Ever heard of RBF?  It’s a clinical term for a face that scares the preacher, makes small children cry, and prevents unwanted sexual advances.  Okay, it gets in the way of the other ones, too. 

I feel bad for anybody who truly wants to enjoy a more fulfilling life and can’t.  Yet, in a way, I feel even worse for those who could do better but find an excuse not to.  Age has nothing to do with it.  I’ve been there.  It wasn’t a happy time, and I still struggle with it occasionally.  We all do.  The trick is to remind yourself it’s only a resting place, not a destination.  Dust yourself off and move on.

That’s all for now.   We’ll talk about this more in the coming weeks, but as you plan your New Year’s resolutions, here’s one we could all try – living life to its fullest.  This is my wish for each of you.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Work Is Important – So Are You!

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning!  I hope your day is off to a nice start.

At the start of a new week, we often take time to plan out the days ahead.  What’s coming up at work, deadlines that are approaching, meetings we’ll have to attend, and so forth.  We think about things around the house, especially anything outdoors, because weather may play a factor.  Shopping, cleaning, laundry, repairs – it’s always something.

If you were to write down everything you plan to do during any given week, you’d quickly find out why next Monday’s list includes some of the same things because they didn’t get done this week.  That’s the story of my life.  Every time I tell my wife I need to do some cleaning in the basement, she just rolls her eyes.  We both know it’s not gonna happen.

This past weekend, I had plans to start writing a book.  The idea hit me last week and, after a couple of days excitedly churning through possible ways to approach the topic, I was ready to roll.  I even set up a keyboard on the dining room table so I could work there.  Well, as it turns out, keyboards are not telepathic … they only work if you sit down and use them.

I can point to any of a dozen different things that kept me from following through on my plans.  Church, shopping, getting new glasses, adjusting to those new glasses, dinner with our grandson … the list goes on.  But the simple truth is I just didn’t do it.  I didn’t clean the basement, either.  Just thought I’d put that out there before anybody asks.

Especially for those of us who work, our own goals always seem to take a backseat to everything else.  The boss talks about prioritizing, but what they mean is we should prioritize the things they want done.  But hey, once that’s all done, you can do anything you want.  You know, in your spare time.  Is it any wonder we never prioritize our own goals?

Work-life balance is a key part of our mental state.  As humans, we need to be doing something productive.  That’s just how we’re wired.  But if the things we do are always for somebody else’s benefit, it’s easy to lose sight of why we’re doing it in the first place.  Sure, we get paid.  Awesome.  But there has to be more to life. 

Tombstones rarely mention a person’s profession or how many years they worked.  Apparently, those things only matter to the coffin’s occupant.  The rest of the world sees a name and two dates.  But, between those two dates are the period we call life.  And it’s up to us to cram as much living as possible into that time span.  Not work – living.

As you look ahead to your week, don’t forget to make time for the things that matter most to you.  That may be game night with the kids, a walk in the park, planting flowers, a special outing, starting a business, or writing a book.  Whatever it is, if it was important enough to occupy your thoughts for more than a few moments, it’s important enough to make it happen.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Cabin Fever Doesn’t Cure Anything

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

I missed a couple of posts last week. It’s taken my brain a few days to get wrapped around this whole “back to work” thing, and the fact that I have to do certain things by a certain time each morning. But I’m thankful to have a job, one I can do from the comfort of home, and in an industry that’s not likely to shut down during this pandemic. Things could always be worse.

Friday afternoon, we heeded the governor’s advice to “enjoy some outdoor recreation with social distancing” and took the new motorhome for a shakedown cruise. In the Navy, that means a short boat ride after you come out of the yards so you can see what all is still broken. On an aircraft carrier, that means thousands of items. Thankfully, our list was a lot smaller.

Okay, first things first – this park was made for golf carts, not buses. The signs said “Go this way to register” so I did. Then came the sloping 90-degree turn to get out of that corner and my wife’s inevitable Lamaze breathing as I negotiated that turn. I was pretty smug about it. You know, once I started breathing again.

We had a pull-through site that, under normal circumstances, would mean drive right in. Turns out “normal” means a Volkswagen Beetle with a teardrop trailer. We were about 20 feet longer than normal. So, I backed in. More Lamaze breathing from the passenger seat. But I’m getting pretty good about backing up. It’s that whole staying in my own lane thing that’s a challenge.

I wanted to get there before dark because setup is all done outside. Wooden blocks under the leveling jacks, electric hookup, water hookup, cable hookup, and crawling underneath to set the water heater bypass valve. You know, the one the dealer’s mechanic crawled under to check and told us it was in the correct position. It wasn’t. And the ground was wet. Naturally.

Once I figured out where the TV cable connects (a critical part of “camping” for my wife) and got the water situation sorted out, we were up and running in just about a half-hour. I’m sure next time will go much smoother because, you know, every campground has the same hookups in the same places. Right. And unicorns blow fairy dust out their nostrils.

All in all, we had a nice weekend. It was a lot warmer for a change, so we spent a good part of the day with the windows open. Of course, warm weather also means thunderstorms, and Mother Nature treated us to a good one. Other than a little rocking around in the wind, it was just like being home. The dog was hiding, and my daughter was glued to the Weather Channel.

Why did we choose this particular weekend to go camping, when everybody is being asked to stay home? Well, for a few reasons. First of all, sitting in a closed-up house is about as healthy as sneezing on your pizza. Of course, with all the other toppings, who would notice? Which makes you wonder about pizza delivery. I’m just saying.

But a little fresh air is good for whatever ails you, and it’s even better when you’re having a good day. We’re being asked to stay at least six feet from other people. Check. We’re being asked to avoid crowds of ten people or more. Check. And we’re being asked to keep shopping trips to a minimum. Well, once camp is set up, you’d be surprised what you can live without.

The bottom line is that, even though life has changed, that doesn’t mean we have to stop living. Sitting around the house, breathing the same dust and germs all day, isn’t good for anyone. We need air. We need sunshine. We need a little exercise, even if it’s only taking the dog for a walk as he marks every tree, shrub, and tuft of tall grass he can find. There are no short walks.

If the weather is nice, get outside. If it’s too hot, wear shorts. If it’s too cold, wear a jacket. If it’s raining, take an umbrella. And don’t kiss your neighbors. This isn’t rocket science. But sitting around the house wears on more than just your patience. Already, divorce attorneys are cancelling their summer vacations. They know. People are not made to live this close.

Find something you can do outside. Whether it’s planting flowers, playing with the kids, taking a walk, or mowing the lawn, you need something to get you out of the house. And that something doesn’t always have to be in the confines of your own yard. Just be safe and remember to keep a distance. Life goes on. Sometimes, it just needs a little nudge.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Don’t Grow Old Before Your Time – And It’s Never Time

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Some days we wake up full of energy, ready to take on the day and crush anything that stands in our way. Priorities have been set, a plan is in place, and we won’t stop until everything has been finished to perfection. When sleep finally comes, it’ll be out of sheer exhaustion from all the magnificent things we’ve accomplished. Today is not that day.

After being awakened by a pretty intense thunderstorm sometime when all good people are supposed to be asleep, I was a little slow rolling out of bed this morning. It’s not a lack of enthusiasm. It’s a lack of uninterrupted sleep. We all have days like this. Thankfully for me, they only come on days ending in “y.”

I’m told waking up during the night comes with age. I hope that’s not the case, because aging is something that never stops, and I’m nowhere even close to being old. Never mind the fact that, as of tomorrow, my oldest grandson will turn 20. That doesn’t mean I’m getting old. He is.

I still remember the day he was born. Watching him grow has been more than just a privilege. It’s a gift. And, like a lot of gifts, there were days when I wanted to take it back to the store. But overall, he’s been my buddy from the start. And he’s still not too proud to give his grandpa a hug, even if other people are watching.

Still, I’ll never forget the day I took him to little league football practice. We pulled up right in front of the team and, as he went to get out of my truck I said, “Hey, what about my kiss?” He gave me that wide-eyed stare that instantly conveyed what his 9-year-old brain was thinking. “Are you freaking insane???” I guess he didn’t care to be the tackling dummy for the day.

I’ve always said aging is inevitable, but growing old is a matter of choice. I’ve met people much older who are more vibrant and energetic than I was on my best day. And I’ve met others half my age who stopped living long ago. Benjamin Franklin once said that most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75. Can I get an amen?

And you know, I was part of that crowd until about 20 years ago. I don’t know if it was becoming a grandfather that breathed new life into the hollow shell I’d become. It may have been getting out of a job that sucked the life out of me, writing my humor column, getting into stand-up comedy, or any combination of things. I’m sure my wife had something to do with it.

But I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed the past 20 years a lot more than the years leading up to it. As a consequence, I’ve enjoyed better health and emotional vitality than I did before. Sure, I’m starting to show some signs of wear and there are things that need a doctor’s care. But all things considered, I’ve never been healthier than I am today.

That’s not the result of modern medicine or a healthy & active lifestyle. Please, weightlifting for me involves standing up, and the closest I come to a workout is bending over to tie my shoes. The reason for my good health is simple – I made a choice to go on living instead of letting life slip away. Besides, my wife said till death do us part, and I’m letting her off that easy.

Am I tired? Sure. Do I ache? All over. I can’t run, I can’t jump, and getting up from the floor is a major event that requires advance planning, supporting staff, and the will of God. But put me in the front seat of a rollercoaster (one I can fit in) and I’m like a little kid – arms in the air, eyes wide open, and screaming “Rock and roll!” all the way down.

There are days when we feel a little older than normal. The trick is to make “normal” a boundary we set, not one that’s imposed upon us. There are things we can’t control as we age, but there are many more things we can control. And the greatest factor in our power is the degree to which we let age define us.

If you’ve lost some of that inner youth, it’s never too late to find it. Find something you enjoy, something that makes you feel young again, and make it a part of your life. We can’t beat the effects of time, but we can beat the effects of age. Age is just a number, but growing old is a state of mind. Make sure yours is what you want it to be.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

You’re Never Too Old to Dream

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

It’s been a busy week for me. Sometimes it works that way. Usually when the boss is out of town, but hey … that’s the way it goes. The bottom line is I get to come home at the end of the day knowing I did something productive. At my age, that’s a lot more important than brownie points.

I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line I hit that point where my goals shifted from advancement and recognition to just doing a good job and leaving the place better than I found it. I think we all reach that point sometime in our work and personal life. For some of us, it just happens a lot sooner than others.

I talk to a lot of people who, when you suggest building something that can provide a little better security in retirement, and maybe even let them reach that point a few years earlier than they would have, they shake their head and say, “At my age …” What follows is some variation of “I’m too old to start something new” or “I’m happy with things just the way they are.”

What that means, in so many words, is, “People my age don’t have dreams.” Well, yeah, they do. We all do. We just may not spend much time thinking about them. But the most active retiree still has things they want to do, or places they want to see. And I don’t care how much money they’ve got, they probably wish they had a little more.

We naturally gravitate toward things that bring pleasure. Advertisers know that all too well. That’s why in vacation commercials, you only see families snorkeling over the Great Barrier Reef or enjoying a candle-lit dinner in a mountain lodge. You never see them waiting in line for tickets, enduring a body search at the airport, or crammed into a coach seat for six hours.

Part of the problem is that, when we’re younger, we want all the nice things and we want them right now. Sure, saving a portion of our paycheck would get us there eventually, but the credit card company says we don’t have to wait. We just have to take an even bigger portion of our check to pay the bill long after the fun is over or the new car smells like old cheeseburgers.

I did the same thing, so I won’t lecture anybody on financial responsibility. But, having done it both ways, I have to admit there’s a lot more excitement in saving for something you want than paying for it once you’ve got it. It’s like the difference between building something and then having to repaint it – every month until there’s nothing left to repaint.

As we get older, we realize that all those days of spending on whatever we wanted may have created some fun times along the way, but it may not have been overly responsible. And that’s when it hits – responsibility. The dreaded “R” word. It makes Mom and Dad proud, but to the rest of the world it simply means you’ve grown old.

That’s when we start saying things like, “Why do I need a new car? The old one still runs.” “A bigger house would be nice, but it’s just that much more to clean.” “I’d love to go to Tahiti, but who wants to sit on a plane that long?” Sure, the excuses make sense. But at the end of the day, they’re just validation of the fact that we stopped acting on our dreams.

I think a lot of that is the wisdom of age, realizing that money really doesn’t grow on trees and whatever we spend today won’t be there tomorrow. Part of it is the reality that, at some point in the not-too-distant future, we’ll retire and have to live on whatever we’ve been able to save. And part is just the fact that, as we age, a quiet evening on the porch holds a lot more value than it used to.

But part of it is that, as we get older, we give up our ability to dream. We’re no longer looking at a lifetime to enjoy whatever we begin building today. The appeal of a vacation every month yields to the lure of relaxing by the fireplace. And the excitement of new things turns to the cold, hard calculation of how much it costs and all the other things that money could be used for.

It’s one thing to become responsible, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams. So, what if you’ll only have a few years to enjoy what you’ve built? Doesn’t that beat not enjoying it at all? Dreams represent hope. And the longer you have hope, the longer you truly live. That alone should be worth the time you spend standing in line.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

You’re Never Too Old to Dream

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

I was chatting with some friends last night and, as often happens with this group, our conversation drifted to the topic of dreams. Not in the sense you might think, with a roomful of people sitting around a table, eyes aglow as each described their greatest goal in life. But in the sense of growing older and a common sentiment that, as we continue to age, we hope we never stop dreaming.

That conversation started as we shared stories of our own parents, and even ourselves, in which the fire just kind of died out over the years. Not completely, at least in our own instances, because we all still have dreams we’re working toward. But sometimes the dream can be as simple as not allowing age and all its associated challenges to get in the way of living.

I know, for my wife and I, we just don’t go out anymore. We don’t visit friends, we don’t invite friends to visit us, we don’t get together with others for a Saturday outing or go out for a night of dinner, drinks, and music – all things we used to enjoy, but somehow over the years they just faded into the background. Now, we pretty much sit around the house. Real party animals, huh?

And, looking back, I can’t really put my finger on a point in life when that changed. But if I had to take a guess, it would be 1988, when I got out of the Navy and we moved back home. That’s 31 years for anyone who’s already run out of fingers and toes to add it up. I can’t recall a time since then when we’ve done much of anything outside the home except shop and take the occasional vacation.

Now, to some people, that sounds like Heaven on earth. I get it. We’re not all wired the same way, and we all have different interests. But in our case, and I think I’m speaking for both of us, we miss it. We would desperately love to get out and do more, just for the fun of being around friends. But when you allow yourself to stop enjoying that side of life for so long, you begin to forget how.

My mother-in-law was one of those people who could make friends anywhere in the world in a matter of seconds. I remember one time walking down a street past a historic home where the owners were sitting on the porch enjoying a beautiful day. She said hi, they said hi, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew they were offering to give us a tour of their home. Wow.

So, how does that fit into the topic of dreams? Well, Jane always imagined a more affluent life and all the things that go along with it – possessions, friends, entertaining, you name it. And, for her, touring the home of somebody who was enjoying that lifestyle would somehow satisfy her own dream. She could live vicariously through others and did so for most of her life.

We all have dreams. Yet, much as my wife and I somehow put a lid on our socialization skills, people tend to shut down those dreams as they get older. Or, maybe the dreams don’t really go away – they just change. At the age of 90, a bigger house probably isn’t as important as the ability to step outside and take a walk. At that age, I imagine most people’s dreams involve their dreams for others.

Make no mistake – there are things I want in life and experiences I want to enjoy. But, as I get closer to the age of retirement, my dreams are more focused on what I want for my daughters and grandchildren. When I look at new opportunities today, I don’t think so much of how they could benefit me as how they could benefit my family. As Dad would say, that’s just part of growing up.

It’s easy to look at things as we get older and think, “That really wouldn’t interest me.” But let me ask you a question – if somebody had presented you with that same vision thirty or forty years ago, would you have been grateful for the opportunity? Is it something you may have acted upon? Could it have changed the course of your life, and possibly led you closer to where you’d like to be today?

And you know, as we look at these things through the eyes of those we care about the most, we sometimes get our second (or third) wind and think, “I’m not that old – why can’t I do that?” Few things make me smile quicker than the image of old folks with white hair boogie-boarding or skydiving. These are people who never stopped dreaming. These are people who live. These are the people I want to be. How about you?

That’s all for now. Keep those dreams alive and have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved