Opportunity Knocks, But it Won’t Kick the Door Down

Good morning, folks!  I hope your day is off to a great start.

Mine could be better, but that’s how it goes.  The guy who NEVER gets sick woke up yesterday with an intense upper respiratory infection and, by the end of the day, testing confirmed Covid. I’ve had it twice before, but this one is absolutely the worst.  No, I didn’t get the new vaccine yet.  I was planning on it, but you know what they say about good intentions. 

I’m not going to dwell on this.  If it’s the worst thing that happens this year (you know, over the next two days), I’ve got it made. The only reason I mention it is to remind you all that vaccines are available, and this is a WHOLE lot worse than a sore arm.  Not trying to tell anyone what to do, but I hope you’ll all give it some consideration.

We’ve talked a lot these past two weeks about not crawling into a grave before it’s time. Mostly, we talked about physical limitations and how we build them up in our mind.  It’s hard to enjoy an active life when you hurt, and even harder when you convince yourself it’s worse than it is.  Take it from someone who avoided energetic activities twenty years before he had a heart attack.

Another limitation has nothing to do with our physical condition, or our perception of it.  In my business, I ask people all the time to dream a bit – make a list of things they’d like to do if money were no object.  It’s amazing how quickly we all start to pare that list back, based entirely on our current financial resources.  It’s almost impossible to see past the roadblocks right in front of us.

And when you press the matter further, they can all come up with a dozen reasons they’ll never have the money to do half the things they want.  Born into a poor family, dead-end job, too many bills, no money to invest – the list goes on and on.  And no matter how hard you try, some people just can’t accept the fact that every one of those challenges can be overcome with one thing – more money.

Yeah, I know.  If earning more money would fix their problems, wouldn’t they be doing it?  You’d think.  But five years later, they’re still sitting there whining about their lot in life and how opportunity never knocks.  Well, get a clue, knucklehead!  It does knock, probably more than we think.  But opportunity is not like a bill collector.  If you don’t open the door, it moves on.

Take a few moments to think of all the times in your life you had the opportunity to increase your income.  That may have been as simple as learning a new skill at work, applying for a new job, moving to a city with better opportunities, whatever.  Do not … and I can’t stress this enough … do not try robbing banks.  On the other hand, you don’t need a lot of money in jail.  I’m just saying.

The point is we’ve all been faced with opportunities that we may have quickly dismissed or didn’t recognize in the first place.  Most times, it’s just a mental block.  “What would my friends say?”  Are they paying your bills?  “I don’t know anybody.”  That’s a lie.  You know me.  “If it was that good, everybody would be doing it.”  If you believe that, read these past few paragraphs again.

The new year is upon us, and resolutions are a traditional way to take our mind off the cold weather and mounting holiday bills.  If you want to lose weight, you can.  If you want to exercise, do it.  And if you want to be able to afford those things you couldn’t until now, fix it.  Will another year of doing the same thing magically turn things in your favor?  Something to think about.

That’s all for now.  Remember, the simplest ideas can often be the most profitable.  Sometimes, it really IS that easy.  You just have to take a gamble and put yourself out there.  Have a safe & happy New Year!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Act Your Own Age, Not Mine

Good morning!  I hope you enjoyed the best of whatever you celebrate this holiday season and are eagerly anticipating the start of what could very well be your best year ever.  You just have to want it.

Some of you have noticed a change in my approach to these messages.  Based on comments, both online and in person, I think I may be onto something.  It’s really simple.  No matter what life has thrown your way, the very fact that you’re able to read this proves one thing – you ain’t dead yet.

These words aren’t only for old folks who, like me, wake up every day with body aches and a foggy brain that remind us we’re not as young as we once were.  Okay, I really don’t need the daily reminders.  Yes, I’m old enough for Medicare.  I know that.  My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be, but the bathroom mirror doesn’t lie.  Neither does the scale, but that’s another story.

Living in a 55+ community, I’ve come to realize that living your best life isn’t something we trade in for a senior discount card.  We still party.  We still dance.  And we’re known to sip an adult beverage or two.  It doesn’t matter.  In a park where most people travel by golf cart, nobody cares if you can balance on one foot as long as you can find your own driveway.  So far, I’ve only missed once.

You know what we don’t have?  People sitting around, commiserating about their gout and goiters.  I’ve seen people who are nearly crippled out there walking the streets with friends every morning.  I’ve seen them wood carving and quilting in spite of their arthritis.  And I’ve seen old men flirting with great-grandmothers.  Sometimes it even works.  I won’t lie – I’m taking notes.

Yet, living among all those old farts, I have to travel outside our gates into the “real” world to find people who are truly handicapped.  I’m not talking about the stuff that gets you a special parking spot.  Those are at least real.  I’m talking about the handicaps living in a dark place in our mind that we don’t discuss with professionals who could at least slap some sense into us. 

Let’s face it, some people are miserable simply because they choose to live that way.  They couldn’t get invited to a funeral if they were the guest of honor.  Nobody wants to be around them.  Ever heard of RBF?  It’s a clinical term for a face that scares the preacher, makes small children cry, and prevents unwanted sexual advances.  Okay, it gets in the way of the other ones, too. 

I feel bad for anybody who truly wants to enjoy a more fulfilling life and can’t.  Yet, in a way, I feel even worse for those who could do better but find an excuse not to.  Age has nothing to do with it.  I’ve been there.  It wasn’t a happy time, and I still struggle with it occasionally.  We all do.  The trick is to remind yourself it’s only a resting place, not a destination.  Dust yourself off and move on.

That’s all for now.   We’ll talk about this more in the coming weeks, but as you plan your New Year’s resolutions, here’s one we could all try – living life to its fullest.  This is my wish for each of you.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

If You Want a New Direction, You Have to Change Your Path

Good morning!  I hope your day is off to a nice start.  Yes, it’s been a while since my last post, so I thought it was time to visit old friends.

First things first – some of you have asked about my stroke recovery, and I’m happy to say it’s going really well.  The damage appears to have been minimal, affecting mainly my left-side strength, short-term memory, and my ability to regulate body temperature correctly.  Otherwise, I’m the same old me.

I attribute a lot of this to the fact that I was pretty healthy before the stroke.  Overweight, yes.  But still healthy.  I take really good plant-based vitamins every day, and I’m sure that helps.  But our lifestyle when we travel is so much healthier than when we’re home.  We walk, we swim, we visit friends.  It all adds up.

We’ve lived in our current home for 23 years.  We have some pretty awesome neighbors, but the fact remains, most of us stay hidden within our own four walls.  Other than the occasional wave as we drive past somebody sitting outside and a once-a-year block picnic, we’re mostly just occupants of the same street.

And, let’s just say it – that pretty well sucks.  We are all social creatures by nature (some more than others), and sitting in a closed-up house in front of the TV is not healthy, physically or emotionally.  We need interaction.  We need camaraderie.  We need hugs.  And most of all, we need adventure.

Do we live this way by choice?  I guess so, since we’ve done it for so long.  But if you had asked me 23 years ago if this was a choice I’d make, the answer would have been a resounding “NO!”  It just sort of worked out that way.  And, judging by the lack activity in the neighborhood, we’re not alone.

It’s easy to start down a path – any path.  Changing that path is uncomfortable, even when we realize it leads someplace we don’t care to go.  It takes effort and a fair amount of self-discipline to find a better path.  And that’s true of everything, from finances and personal habits to socializing and chasing our dreams.  Sometimes, the rut is just the easiest path to follow.

But, as a good friend said years ago, a rut is nothing but a grave with the ends open.  It takes a conscious decision to get out of that rut.  Yes, we all face challenges and obstacles to achieving the life we desire.  But it can be done.  We just can’t do it by following the well-worn path to the other end of the grave.

If life isn’t what you’d hoped it would be, do something about it.  Set a goal and go after it.  Make some new friends.   Spend more time with the friends you’ve got.  Learn a new skill, take a trip someplace you’ve never been, volunteer in the community.  At the very least, you’ll develop new interests.  And you may just find yourself on the path to where you always wanted to be.

That’s all for now, friends.  Life is short, and tomorrow is never guaranteed.  Get out and make the most of it.  Meanwhile, have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Life Can Change Fast – Make the Most of It

Good morning!  I hope your day is starting off well.

It’s been a while since I last posted – just very busy between work and trying to enjoy this extended RV trip.  Which, by the way, I highly recommend whatever form of rest & relaxation you’re into.  It makes a world of difference.  More on that later.

For several months, my wife has been concerned about my health.  She noticed a lot of subtle changes that escaped me, but that’s the way it usually goes.  I’m not always the first to pick up on things.  But over the past month, I’ve noticed an issue maintaining focus, and my memory was slipping badly.  That’s hard for a guy like me to handle.

Then last Monday, my left hand went suddenly numb.  I wrote it off to some long-term circulation issues and went about my day.  Two days later, I couldn’t type, my feet were dragging and getting in the way of one another, and the confusion was more pronounced.  If your mind went straight to “stroke,” you’re smarter than I am, because that’s what it was.  My carotid artery was 85% blocked and had been releasing small pieces of plaque for three days.

First things first – if you ever have ANY symptoms of a stroke, don’t mess around with it.  Get help right away.  The doc told my wife if one decent sized piece of plaque had broken loose, the whole mess would have gone straight to my brain.  Needless to say, God had my back on that one.  This could have turned out completely different, and I’m blessed to still be upright.

A few more thoughts I’d like to share.  I’ve often said we all need to have a Plan B – something to fall back on just in case life takes an unexpected turn.  It doesn’t matter how secure you are, how well things are going, or how great a job you’ve got, things can change in an instant.  Our best-laid plans can be overturned, leaving us to pick up the pieces with little or no notice.  That’s scary.

Whether it’s a side income, a regular savings plan, family nearby, or whatever, we all need to ask ourselves from time to time, “What would I do if I lost what I have today, and had to continue without it?”  I’m not saying we should dwell on it every day, but it’s a very real possibility we all need to consider.

And, once you have some thoughts in mind, don’t wait until something bad happens.  Get started today.  Needs don’t go away, and time isn’t always on our side.  I’ve said this before, and it bears repeating – dig the well before you get thirsty.  Then all you have to do is turn it on.  If that day never comes, you’ll just be that much more secure.

Beyond all that, enjoy life.  I’ve never once read a tombstone that brags about a person’s job or how hard they worked.  All it has is a couple of dates.  Our life is everything that falls in between.  Enjoy it.  Make the most of it.  Kids will get by, and your job will be posted before the obituary.  Make time to enjoy the things you’ve worked to achieve.  You only get one chance.

That’s all for now.  I’m so happy to have this chance to reach out again.  Pay attention to your health, get to work on that Plan B, and enjoy every day on this planet.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

You Can’t Get Up if You Never Fall

Good morning!  Hope your day is going well.

If you’re in the USA and you’re not living under a rock, you’ve probably heard something about a football game yesterday.  A big one.  And, as usual, the jury of public opinion is still out on who really won.

Football has always been a bit of a mystery to me.  I mean, I get the game and how it’s played.  Twenty-two guys with the combined weight of a tugboat face off, separated by an imaginary line, waiting for the fat guy in the middle to toss the ball behind him.  Never mind where the quarterback’s hands are all this time.  You don’t want to try that one at work. 

When the ball finally leaves the ground, these grunting beasts spring into action and try to knock somebody down.  Anybody.  Preferably the guy with the ball.  You get extra credit for that.  And then, the guy who sprinted six yards with the ball tucked under his arm goes to the sideline for oxygen.  And they call these guys athletes???

The best part is, they only have to “work” for about ten seconds and then they get a break.  And if that’s not enough, they can call time-out or pretend to be hurt.  That doesn’t work for me.  “Boss, I hurt my knee on that one!”  “How?  You were taking notes!”

But for these guys, the Super Bowl is the culmination of everything they’ve worked for.  Every dream, every workout, every smack in the head, all aimed toward one goal – making it into the big game.  At that point, the score doesn’t even matter.  They’ve already won.

Football is a game of stamina, determination, and the willingness to keep getting back up, even when it hurts.  Concussions are common, but in this sport, brain damage appears to be a pre-existing condition.  Still, it’s a dream they’ve lived for most of their life, so who am I to poke fun?  Besides, they’re a lot bigger than I am.  I only look stupid.

But if you ever doubt the power of dreams, the Super Bowl is a perfect example of what we can accomplish.  Every one of those guys on the field was once a young boy, barely able to walk.  They didn’t start as athletes, and most were probably advised to “go to school and get a real job.”  But the dream was too big to be held down.

How about you?  Is your dream important enough to do something about it?  Is it important enough to get knocked down and stand back up?  Football isn’t a game of intellect.  It’s about grit and determination and the will to succeed.  Get some of that, and there’s not much that can stand in your way.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Destiny – the Shortest Path to Where You Don’t Want to Be

Good morning!  I hope your Monday is starting off well.

Reusable toilet paper.  Can I get an amen?  Yeah, I just wanted to grab your attention.  That was the topic of a story on the news this morning, right after a segment about the resurgence of paper maps.  We’re saving trees on one end, and killing them on the other.  What gives? 

Everything old comes around again.  I’m still waiting for powder-blue leisure suits to come back in style.  Yes, I had one.  And no, I couldn’t get one leg in those pants, much less my whole butt.  Guess that’s God’s way of keeping me from making an even bigger fool of myself.

I still keep paper maps in the RV.  Okay, I also use a GPS.  It’s not like I need the directions, unless I’m trying to stay on I-75 through Atlanta.  Every five seconds – “Be in either of the right two lanes.  Stay on the road.  THIS road.  DO NOT EXIT!  Now cross over all eight lanes and exit left to stay on … you know …”

So yes, maps can come in handy.  But reusable toilet paper?  Folks, I use some pretty good laundry detergent, and that stuff isn’t going in my washing machine.  That’s what laundromats are for.  Of course, my wife is quick to point out that my underwear gets washed.  Don’t think too hard on that.  

Okay, I wanted to start the week on a light note, and it looks like the news beat me to it.  But you know, we take life too seriously sometimes.  That’s one of the reasons I started writing humor 25 years ago.  Okay, it was because I’m not an expert in anything else.  Sometimes, you play the hand you’re dealt.

It’s what some folks call destiny … the notion that we’re born into a certain life, and we’re pre-ordained to fulfill that destiny.  Well, let me just get this out.  Destiny sucks!  Destiny is just one more imaginary thing on which to blame our lot in life.  It means life is plowing forward, and we’re just along for the ride. 

Life is what we make of it, and destiny is about as firm as a pile of mashed potatoes.  You can shape it any way you want.  You just have to accept the fact that you’re in control, and then let your dreams paint a picture of the life you desire.

That’s my hope for each of you as we begin a new week.  We’re all on a path to somewhere.  We may not have paved the road, but we can certainly choose the destination.  And once that destination is firmly in your mind, the rest is pretty easy.  Just be sure to bring along plenty of TP.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

How’s That Brick Wall Treating You?

Good morning, and happy Friday!  I hope your day is off to a great start!

I went to work yesterday.  You know, to the office.  I haven’t been there in over three years.  I had to program my GPS to even find the place.  Most days, going to work means heading down the basement stairs.  I spend my days ten feet from a refrigerator with 6 bottles of water and 42 bottles of beer.  What could possibly go wrong?

In 2008, I asked my boss if I could work from home.  He said, “Dave, the problem is, I’d be paying you for 8 hours, but I wouldn’t really know if you worked that long.”  I told him he didn’t know that now.  All he knew was my truck was in the parking lot and I was at my computer.  Here’s a tip.  Don’t say that out loud.  The next day he installed a camera over my desk.

But along came 2020 and Covid left us with no choice.  And with very few exceptions, we put the fears to rest and came out on top.  Companies continued to grow.  Profits were made and bonuses were earned.  And we discovered we can still get the job done even if our pants are in the laundry.  I’ve seen those videos.  What’s wrong with you people?

The point is, we took a situation that could have been catastrophic and made the most of it.  Giving up was just not an option.  And, as a result, many of us continue to enjoy a work-life balance we would never have envisioned three short years ago.

So, where’s that sense of adventure when there’s something we want, something that’s not quite within reach?  We’ll keep beating our head against the same wall for years instead of trying something new for even a day.  And at the end of yet another year, we resign ourselves to the “fact” that what we want is just not possible.

Well, I’m glad my boss didn’t give up so easily.  And I’m sure a lot of his trusted advisers gave him a dozen reasons why it would never work.  But he put his faith in us, and we came through.  Put that same amount of faith in yourself, and there’s not much you can’t accomplish.  All it takes is a willingness to try something different, even if other people say it’s stupid.

Every challenge presents opportunity.  And all opportunity asks is that we recognize it for what it is – a chance to make things better.  Take the chance.  Prove other people wrong.  You may still miss your goal, but it certainly won’t be for lack of trying.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day and an even better weekend!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Yes, You Really ARE Worthy!

Good morning.  Or afternoon, depending on your time zone.  Hope your day is starting off well.

I didn’t sleep this late, though I did sleep later than normal.  That’s what happens when you sit up watching a movie until the wee hours.  I used to do that all the time.  But I’ve reached that point of equilibrium where cause and effect become one.  In other words, if you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta to be tough. 

There were years in my life when I could party all night and get up in the morning.  But somewhere along the line, my body introduced me to the concept of consequences.  When I woke up with a headache, I could usually admit I had it coming.  And then came the days I woke up with a hangover for no good reason.  What’s up with that?

We all tend to think we get what we deserve.  Okay, just the good stuff.  I get it.  But when I climb the single flight of stairs from my office to the kitchen (don’t be nosey), I can honestly say I deserve all that huffing and puffing.  The pounding in my chest?  Yeah, I’m still looking for somebody to pin that on.

It’s good when we can admit our mistakes and accept the consequences.  But what happens when life throws something really good our way?  “You’re so lucky!”  Yeah, that must be it.  The gods were searching for somebody completely unworthy on whom to bestow a stroke of good fortune, and you just happened to stumble in the way.  What a lucky dog!

And I think that’s what stops a lot of us from pursuing our goals.  Why should good luck fall on me?  What have I done to deserve it?  What’s so special about me?

Well, that depends.  If all you did was buy a winning lottery ticket, that’s luck.  But most of us tend to put a little more methodical effort into our achievements.  We get up a little earlier, go to bed a little later, and work just a little harder.  When others are on the porch enjoying a cold beer, we’re putting in that little bit of extra effort.  So, why not you?

The first step in achieving a dream is realizing you deserve it.  If there’s any nice thing in this world, material or not, you deserve it just as much as the next person.  We are not pre-ordained at birth to a life of mediocrity.  We’re destined to live the life we’ve built. 

Every one of us is worthy of the best life has to offer.  All you have to do is go out and get it.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Life is Too Short for Simple Dreams

Good morning!  It’s Friday again!  Hope your day is off to a great start.

Those of you who know me best know I can conjure up some pretty wild fantasies when I want to.  Not the kind that would embarrass my wife.  I do a good enough job of that just trying to be serious.  I’m talking about the kind that leave people scratching their head and thinking, “Is he delusional?”

Yes, I’m a dreamer.  Dad reminded me of that every time I set my sights on anything people who work for a living could never afford.  Okay, some of those dreams were “out there.”  A waterfront mansion with my own yacht and a helicopter to fly me to my private jet may have been a bit optimistic.  Especially at the age of 17.  Why do you think I wanted to be a rock star?

Over the years, my dreams have changed.  Not necessarily because of my bank account.  That’s a dynamic situation that changes almost daily.  And, while some days are better than others, the years have treated me well.  But dreams change as we grow.  That’s just a natural part of life.  But there are still things I want.

What would your dreams be if you knew you couldn’t fail?  That’s an interesting thought.  It implies two things.  First, that we can actually control what we dream about (we can), and second, that our dreams are usually limited by our current income (they are). 

We’ve all heard that whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.  I love that quote, but in deference to Napoleon Hill, I have to respectfully disagree.  There are things that, no matter how hard we try, we will NEVER be able to accomplish.  Ever wished you could sprout wings and fly?  Well, keep dreaming.

But that aside, there isn’t much we can’t accomplish if we put our mind to it and follow through with deliberate action.  Want a bigger house?  You can do it.  Want a fancy car, or a European vacation?  It’s yours.  Want to retire at the age of 30 and spend the rest of your days on the beach?  Well, if your 30th birthday is next week, you may need a couple more months.

The life you’re living today is largely the life you dreamed of.  If it’s not, now would be a good time to revisit those dreams.  Go to an open house.  Visit a boat show.  Pick up a travel magazine.  Don’t worry about how you’ll do it.  There’s plenty of time for that next week.  But if you’re going to dream, then dream big!  The effort is the same either way.

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome weekend!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Got Twenty Seconds???

Good morning, and happy Monday!  I hope your day is off to a nice start.

While you folks were (hopefully) relaxing, I spent 16 hours on the road Saturday, leaving the warmth of central Florida for the bitter cold of Ohio.  I guess I really am as stupid as I look. 

Let’s just get this out now – I don’t like winter.  In fact, I pretty much despise it.  Oh yeah, I remember years ago growing up in south Florida, longing for the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air … Yes, I’ve watched that movie a few times too many. 

When I joined the Navy, my dad told me something I’ll never forget.  “The best two duty stations in the world are the one you just left and the one you’re going to.”  Or, in simpler terms, the grass is always greener over the septic tank.  Thank you Erma Bombeck for that tidbit of perspective.

Our comfort zone is a double-edged sword.  It gets us through the day with a minimum of stress, and it also keeps us from accomplishing much of anything.  For every worthwhile achievement, you had to do something that stretched your level of comfort.  And, even if the goal ended up being a little less than what you’d envisioned, you still grew as a result. 

As most of you know, I was a stand-up comedian for the better part of 16 years.  Believe me when I say that first time onstage was WAY outside my comfort zone.  It took nine years and almost 1000 shows to get past the jitters.  But it was something I wanted badly enough to work through it.  And I’m glad I did.

If there’s something you want that isn’t immediately within reach, you’ll have to step outside your comfort zone.  Matt Damon’s character said it best in the movie We Bought a Zoo … “all it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage.” 

Twenty seconds to embrace a vision.  Twenty seconds to consider an opportunity.  Twenty seconds to post your resume online.  Twenty seconds to get down on one knee and pop the question.  Twenty seconds to sign your name to the contract.  Twenty seconds to trap a spider.  Twenty seconds.

Sure, there’s more to come after that.  But that initial twenty seconds of courage is all it takes to get past the fear and start turning the life you want into the life you’re working toward.  The more you face those fears, the less courage it takes.  There comes a day when it’s second nature.  And that’s when dreams begin turning into reality. 

That’s all for now.  Have an awesome day!

© 2023 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved