Dave Glardon

Fix What You Can, Then Run Like Hell

December 22, 2023December 22, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Motivational Humor

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Last week, we talked about making the most of our limitations to enjoy what’s left of our time on this planet. Hopefully, we’ll all be here for a long time to come, but we should still live each day as if it would be our last. That doesn’t mean live like there will be no consequences. If you do something you’ll pay for the rest of your life, you’ll probably live forever. Just ask Keith Richards.

As we age, things change. You ever wonder why old couples are so nice to one another? It’s simple. We can’t run as fast as we used to. Or duck. Observations I may have shared years ago have transformed into quiet chuckles of how funny that thought may (or may not) have been. Besides, I may want to eat a meal she’s cooked at some point. Spit is the least of my worries.

While those limitations may keep us out of trouble, they also get in the way of those fun things we wanted to do. Like skydiving. It’s something I’d like to try, but my left ankle collapses just getting out of bed. Plus, I’ve not been able to find any instructor willing to test the integrity of a parachute with me strapped to his chest. I’m pretty sure there’s a weight limit.

But I’ve often said that medical issues and physical limitations are valid only to the extent that we do something about them. Beyond that, they’re just an excuse. And you know how we love our excuses. Remember Redd Foxx on Sanford & Son? “It’s on account of my arth-a-ritis!” And if that didn’t work, he’d grab his chest. “It’s the big one! I’m comin’ to join ya, Elizabeth!” I’ve used both.

There are some things we just have to live with, but to the extent we can correct them, we should at least try. My wife has suffered with a self-destructive hip for ten years. It’s a hindrance, but she never wanted it to be an excuse. So, I used it as one of my own. “We can’t go dancing on account of her hip.” It’s saved me a lot of public humiliation over the years. And she doesn’t mind.

Last week, she finally bit the bullet and got a new hip. As the surgeon described the procedure later, I realized not all surgery is delicate and precise. He used instruments that were made for heavy truck maintenance. Think pry bars and air chisels. At one point I thought I heard a jackhammer, but that may have been from the dental clinic next-door.

And he didn’t mess around. He completely destroyed that old hip so there was no way she’d change her mind, and then replaced it with a bionic hip made of cobalt, titanium, and two complete sets of ball bearings, like they use for dancers and athletes. So, there goes that excuse. Guess I’ll have to enroll in dance lessons. And learn to run fast or be nice. She has the upper hand, now.

At the very least, she’ll be a lot better than she was. And the biggest challenge now me not becoming her excuse. “I’d love to go rock climbing, but Dave’s back can’t handle it.” Go ahead, sweetheart. I’ll stand here and catch you if you fall! She may have been gullible enough to marry me, but she’s not stupid. Besides, she still thinks she needs me, and I’m not about to prove her wrong.

If something is holding you back, odds are you can make it better. Nobody wants surgery, a diet, or a new exercise plan. Okay, not sane people. But don’t just settle for excuses. Fix what you can, and deal with the rest. You may not be able to move mountains, but you can walk to the edge and give ‘em a good hard kick. At least then you’ll have a real excuse to fall back on. Fix what’s broken and see what’s left. It may be less than you think. Until then, have an awesome day!

You Ain’t Dead Yet!

December 11, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Monday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

To say 2023 has been a challenge is an understatement. Of course, we say that every year as if it’s something new and insightful. But it’s true. No matter how hard we try to make things better, life has a way of throwing a wrench in the spokes. And the faster you’re going, the harder the fall. It’s physics. Blame Sir Isaac Newton. He’s dead, anyway.

It’s been six months since my stroke, and two things are obvious. First, I’m not as young as I used to be. Second, I’m still kicking. I need to remind myself of that every day. Sure, my body has seen finer days. Along with my youth, I’ve said farewell to my upper-body strength, my ability to follow a conversation, and that unruffled demeanor I embodied my whole life. Okay, and my memory, too.

I never really felt my age until this year. Sure, I’ve seen the changes in the mirror. Funny, I don’t notice all that gray hair until I go to the barber. I used to wish they had clippers that just cut out the gray and leave the rest, but if they did, I’d come away looking like Vin Diesel. That would be okay if I had his physique to go with it. Let’s face it, my biceps are turning gray, too.

Another thing about getting old – every time doctors test for one thing, they find something else. I’m still not sure how a brain scan showed testosterone deficiency, but they managed to find a way. Okay, the doc calls it an enlarged aorta. In other words, my heart is ticking in more ways than one. And I’m not allowed to lift more than 30 pounds, ever. Not that I could before, but still.

Yet through it all, though, one fact remains – I’m still breathing. I still have the ability to get out of bed every morning, however slowly. I still work, though I don’t always remember what I did yesterday. And I just drove 1800 miles in two days, mostly because I kept getting lost. You’re welcome, Exxon.

So, I’m not as nimble as I used to be. Who cares? I’m still alive, and with each new day comes a new opportunity to try something different. Sure, the results will be mixed. But that adds a level of excitement. Like stepping into the bull ring and finding out how fast you can run. I already know the answer to that. I couldn’t outrun a gerbil with a five-second head start.

We only have a certain amount of time left on this planet. How we spend that time is a choice we make. I may not be able to climb a mountain, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stand at the bottom and appreciate its beauty. Or just turn a bull loose and maybe I can climb better than I think. You never know.

As long as we’re breathing, we’re not done. And everything is possible until we prove otherwise. Challenge yourself. Instead of accepting a self-imposed set of limitations, stretch those limits. Change your mindset and you can change your life. It’s easy. Just get up each morning (however slowly), stand in front of a mirror, and repeat after me … “You ain’t dead yet!”

That’s all for now, folks. Thumb your nose at whatever is standing in your way, then tell me all about it. Let’s face this beast together. Meanwhile, have an awesome day!

Work Is Important – So Are You!

September 18, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

At the start of a new week, we often take time to plan out the days ahead. What’s coming up at work, deadlines that are approaching, meetings we’ll have to attend, and so forth. We think about things around the house, especially anything outdoors, because weather may play a factor. Shopping, cleaning, laundry, repairs – it’s always something.

If you were to write down everything you plan to do during any given week, you’d quickly find out why next Monday’s list includes some of the same things because they didn’t get done this week. That’s the story of my life. Every time I tell my wife I need to do some cleaning in the basement, she just rolls her eyes. We both know it’s not gonna happen.

This past weekend, I had plans to start writing a book. The idea hit me last week and, after a couple of days excitedly churning through possible ways to approach the topic, I was ready to roll. I even set up a keyboard on the dining room table so I could work there. Well, as it turns out, keyboards are not telepathic … they only work if you sit down and use them.

I can point to any of a dozen different things that kept me from following through on my plans. Church, shopping, getting new glasses, adjusting to those new glasses, dinner with our grandson … the list goes on. But the simple truth is I just didn’t do it. I didn’t clean the basement, either. Just thought I’d put that out there before anybody asks.

Especially for those of us who work, our own goals always seem to take a backseat to everything else. The boss talks about prioritizing, but what they mean is we should prioritize the things they want done. But hey, once that’s all done, you can do anything you want. You know, in your spare time. Is it any wonder we never prioritize our own goals?

Work-life balance is a key part of our mental state. As humans, we need to be doing something productive. That’s just how we’re wired. But if the things we do are always for somebody else’s benefit, it’s easy to lose sight of why we’re doing it in the first place. Sure, we get paid. Awesome. But there has to be more to life.

Tombstones rarely mention a person’s profession or how many years they worked. Apparently, those things only matter to the coffin’s occupant. The rest of the world sees a name and two dates. But, between those two dates are the period we call life. And it’s up to us to cram as much living as possible into that time span. Not work – living.

As you look ahead to your week, don’t forget to make time for the things that matter most to you. That may be game night with the kids, a walk in the park, planting flowers, a special outing, starting a business, or writing a book. Whatever it is, if it was important enough to occupy your thoughts for more than a few moments, it’s important enough to make it happen.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

It Ain’t Over Till the Fat Lady Sings

September 15, 2023September 15, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good afternoon friends! I know, I know … morning was gone several hours ago. But sometimes we do these things when we can, right? I sure hope you’re having a nice day.

Things change as we get older. I guess that comes as no real surprise to anyone. Prices go up, energy goes down, and music will just never be the same again. Can I get an amen? Sure, that’s just the short list. There are also plenty of aches & pains, but thankfully there are also plenty of doctor visits to discuss them. My diagnosis is pretty much the same. I’m old.

And it doesn’t help when the doctor’s advice is to slow down. Oh sure, they want me to be active. Walking, swimming, riding my bicycle, and things like that. Funny they never mention skydiving or happy hour. But, during all this activity, I have to keep my blood pressure under control, and my days of lifting heavy weights are over. Or, so says the doctor.

Now, it’s not like I ever lifted really heavy weights anyway. Even when I went to the gym on a regular basis, I kept it within reason. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But to tell me I can’t pick up a bag of salt or bench press a running lawnmower is hard to handle. It’s like telling me to be less of a man. Worse yet, I have to watch younger people do these things for me.

I could cry about it, or I can do what I was going to do anyway – fight back. I may never be the nimble young stud I once was (stop laughing!) and my grandkids may have to climb into my lap on their own. Thankfully, they’re still willing to do that. Another thing about getting older – grandkids tend to outgrow their grandparents. That’s the hardest one to handle.

Equally difficult is looking back at all those missed opportunities and latent dreams. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled with my life, and there’s not much I’d change if I could. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to roll over and just take whatever life throws my way. Besides, I’m the one who abused this body all those years. I’ve earned it.

But with every new day comes new opportunities. It may be the same old opportunities or something completely new. As a comedian, I always reminded people that we don’t stop laughing when we grow old – we grow old when we stop laughing. The same is true of opportunity, and life. But the sad fact is, too many people stop living long before they die.

As long as we have air in our lungs and food in our belly, we have the ability to enjoy a more complete and vibrant life. Yes, that vibrance may fade over the years, but it never completely goes away. It’s our ability to make the most of life, and those opportunities, that determines whether we spend our days living or wasting away. You already know my choice.

Give this some thought over the weekend. Just because you missed an opportunity once doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. And the fact that you can’t run as fast as you used to, or jump as high, doesn’t mean you’re bedridden. Life is what we make of it. Make yours count!

That’s all for now. Make the most of the day and have an awesome weekend!

If You Want a New Direction, You Have to Change Your Path

September 11, 2023September 11, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start. Yes, it’s been a while since my last post, so I thought it was time to visit old friends.

First things first – some of you have asked about my stroke recovery, and I’m happy to say it’s going really well. The damage appears to have been minimal, affecting mainly my left-side strength, short-term memory, and my ability to regulate body temperature correctly. Otherwise, I’m the same old me.

I attribute a lot of this to the fact that I was pretty healthy before the stroke. Overweight, yes. But still healthy. I take really good plant-based vitamins every day, and I’m sure that helps. But our lifestyle when we travel is so much healthier than when we’re home. We walk, we swim, we visit friends. It all adds up.

We’ve lived in our current home for 23 years. We have some pretty awesome neighbors, but the fact remains, most of us stay hidden within our own four walls. Other than the occasional wave as we drive past somebody sitting outside and a once-a-year block picnic, we’re mostly just occupants of the same street.

And, let’s just say it – that pretty well sucks. We are all social creatures by nature (some more than others), and sitting in a closed-up house in front of the TV is not healthy, physically or emotionally. We need interaction. We need camaraderie. We need hugs. And most of all, we need adventure.

Do we live this way by choice? I guess so, since we’ve done it for so long. But if you had asked me 23 years ago if this was a choice I’d make, the answer would have been a resounding “NO!” It just sort of worked out that way. And, judging by the lack activity in the neighborhood, we’re not alone.

It’s easy to start down a path – any path. Changing that path is uncomfortable, even when we realize it leads someplace we don’t care to go. It takes effort and a fair amount of self-discipline to find a better path. And that’s true of everything, from finances and personal habits to socializing and chasing our dreams. Sometimes, the rut is just the easiest path to follow.

But, as a good friend said years ago, a rut is nothing but a grave with the ends open. It takes a conscious decision to get out of that rut. Yes, we all face challenges and obstacles to achieving the life we desire. But it can be done. We just can’t do it by following the well-worn path to the other end of the grave.

If life isn’t what you’d hoped it would be, do something about it. Set a goal and go after it. Make some new friends. Spend more time with the friends you’ve got. Learn a new skill, take a trip someplace you’ve never been, volunteer in the community. At the very least, you’ll develop new interests. And you may just find yourself on the path to where you always wanted to be.

That’s all for now, friends. Life is short, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Get out and make the most of it. Meanwhile, have an awesome day!

Waiting for Tomorrow? It’s Here!

June 16, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

It’s been almost three weeks since my stroke, and I’m happy to report that I’m getting a little better each day. I’ve lost some strength on my left side, but that should come back. Other than a dull headache for the past two weeks, I feel pretty good. I guess God isn’t done with me just yet.

I can’t say enough about the staff at Tucson’s Banner University Hospital. Everybody there was just awesome, including the nurse who took the full brunt of my post-surgery nausea. I won’t go into detail, but if you’ve ever seen The Exorcist, that pretty much sums it up. She got two showers that day.

It’s hard going from working every day to full-time recuperation. Not that I miss work all that much, but sudden change is not always easy. I don’t plan to retire for another year, but one thing I can say for certain – I absolutely must find something to occupy my time before then. Sitting around is not my thing.

I’ve known for years that my retirement will involve some kind of ongoing income. That’s what happens when you wait until you’re almost 60 to start saving. Like most others, I spent my younger years scraping by, with little concept of the fact that time wasn’t standing still. Retirement is for old people, and only people like my dad planned for that eventuality.

Yet here I am. The young guy who used to live in the mirror has been replaced by the aging image I see each morning. Getting out of bed requires planning and pre-positioning, and even climbing the six steps into our motorhome can be an effort. Aging is definitely not for sissies. On the other hand, a little alcohol goes a long way, so that’s a plus.

The thing about aging is that, when we’re young, we wonder what tomorrow may bring. Later, we wonder where all those tomorrows went. All those things we planned to start “someday,” the trips we were going to take, the book we were going to write, the business we were going to build, the legacy we wanted to leave behind. What I wouldn’t do to have some of those tomorrows back.

Well, today is yesterday’s tomorrow. Waiting for “someday?” It’s here. Sure, there will be others, but how many are we willing to squander before we put our plans into motion? One? Ten? A thousand? They add up faster than we think.

Thankfully, I got through this challenge with the ability to continue my plans for the future. But that could have all changed in an instant. Nobody knows when a crisis may hit, or how severe it may be. All the more reason to plan for the future now and put those plans in motion while you still can. What’s the worst that can happen? Hitting your goal too soon?

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Life Can Change Fast – Make the Most of It

May 31, 2023May 31, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is starting off well.

It’s been a while since I last posted – just very busy between work and trying to enjoy this extended RV trip. Which, by the way, I highly recommend whatever form of rest & relaxation you’re into. It makes a world of difference. More on that later.

For several months, my wife has been concerned about my health. She noticed a lot of subtle changes that escaped me, but that’s the way it usually goes. I’m not always the first to pick up on things. But over the past month, I’ve noticed an issue maintaining focus, and my memory was slipping badly. That’s hard for a guy like me to handle.

Then last Monday, my left hand went suddenly numb. I wrote it off to some long-term circulation issues and went about my day. Two days later, I couldn’t type, my feet were dragging and getting in the way of one another, and the confusion was more pronounced. If your mind went straight to “stroke,” you’re smarter than I am, because that’s what it was. My carotid artery was 85% blocked and had been releasing small pieces of plaque for three days.

First things first – if you ever have ANY symptoms of a stroke, don’t mess around with it. Get help right away. The doc told my wife if one decent sized piece of plaque had broken loose, the whole mess would have gone straight to my brain. Needless to say, God had my back on that one. This could have turned out completely different, and I’m blessed to still be upright.

A few more thoughts I’d like to share. I’ve often said we all need to have a Plan B – something to fall back on just in case life takes an unexpected turn. It doesn’t matter how secure you are, how well things are going, or how great a job you’ve got, things can change in an instant. Our best-laid plans can be overturned, leaving us to pick up the pieces with little or no notice. That’s scary.

Whether it’s a side income, a regular savings plan, family nearby, or whatever, we all need to ask ourselves from time to time, “What would I do if I lost what I have today, and had to continue without it?” I’m not saying we should dwell on it every day, but it’s a very real possibility we all need to consider.

And, once you have some thoughts in mind, don’t wait until something bad happens. Get started today. Needs don’t go away, and time isn’t always on our side. I’ve said this before, and it bears repeating – dig the well before you get thirsty. Then all you have to do is turn it on. If that day never comes, you’ll just be that much more secure.

Beyond all that, enjoy life. I’ve never once read a tombstone that brags about a person’s job or how hard they worked. All it has is a couple of dates. Our life is everything that falls in between. Enjoy it. Make the most of it. Kids will get by, and your job will be posted before the obituary. Make time to enjoy the things you’ve worked to achieve. You only get one chance.

That’s all for now. I’m so happy to have this chance to reach out again. Pay attention to your health, get to work on that Plan B, and enjoy every day on this planet. Have an awesome day!

The Early Bird Gets to Swim

March 27, 2023March 27, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day, and your week, is off to a good start.

While most of the country is about caught up after losing an hour of sleep, some of us couldn’t be satisfied with that. Last week I fired up the RV and headed west. Two time zones so far, and one more this coming weekend. So, while everyone at work is starting their day at a leisurely 8:00, my days will start at 5. I know. Some of us are too stupid for our own good.

Yes, the days start earlier. But they end earlier, too. And when there’s a pool within walking distance that’s heated to just the perfect temperature (usually by the sun), 2:00 is a good time to step away from the computer. Believe me, I use that pool just about every day. I don’t really even swim. I just lounge in the water for a couple of hours simply because I can.

We all learned the concept of sacrifice and rewards as children. Stay away from the candy dish now, and your fingers will feel better later. With me, candy was for rookies. I learned at the age of 4 not to plug suitcase keys into the wall outlet. As I sat in a daze on the other side of the room still seeing that bright flash, I gained a full understanding of cause and effect. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

As we get older, those lessons change. Through the teenage years, the goal is simple – have fun and don’t get caught. I was pretty good at that one. But then we hit some point in adulthood where we start to grasp the fundamentals of banking. You have to put something in to take something out. That’s pretty much true of everything in life.

We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to living the life of our dreams. I’m not talking about lottery-level wealth. I’m talking about comfort, good health, close relationships, and the ability to enjoy what the boss calls “work-life balance.” It could be as grand as a European vacation, or as simple as an afternoon dip in the pool. You decide what the “good life” is. And you decide which sacrifices are worth it.

Within the laws of physics, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. You just have to make those deposits. The more you put in, the more you can take back out. That may be as simple as getting up a little earlier or working a little later. It may mean taking a calculated risk. And it may mean burning the midnight oil after the kids are asleep. But if the dream is vivid enough, the way will present itself.

That’s all for now. Have yourself an awesome day!

Tomorrow is Here – Get Busy!

March 10, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

So, there was an segment on the news last night about an asteroid that may or may not crash into the earth sometime in the year 2046. You know, in case you had plans for 2047. Okay, there’s about an 8 percent chance we’ll be in its path. Seems to me we could just step on the gas and get out of the way or blast it toward Pluto. Nobody liked that one anyway.

I would like to think I’ll be around to see what really happens. I would be 88 by then, so I’m not placing any bets. But I think we all tend to live our lives as if tomorrow is pretty much in the bag, even if “tomorrow’ is 8,400 days away. People ask all the time if you knew today would be your last day, what would you do differently? Well, sorry folks. I can’t say that out loud. But you can bet it would be fun!

We were asked that question in a class one time. I remember saying I’d go skydiving. My wife even offered to pack the parachute. This is the same woman who once gave me a gift certificate to the office of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, and I don’t know if she’s ever seen a parachute up close. Let’s just say she wasn’t a fan of my mid-life adjustment.

It amazes me sometimes how we put our complete faith in people we’ve never met, from airline pilots to investment brokers, or even astrologists. Yes, that’s the word I meant to use. I don’t argue with astrophysicists. They’re good at math.

The point to all this is, none of us knows for sure what tomorrow will bring. Sure, it may bring illness or heartache. But odds are, it’ll be another fairly routine day in a fairly routine life. If we want it to be anything more than that, today is the day to set the wheels in motion. From the driver’s seat, thank you. This is not the time to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Weekends are a great time for rest and reflection. Okay, they’re a great time to catch up on all the stuff you didn’t get done during the week. But they’re also the perfect time to sit back, have a drink, and focus on our dreams. You may or may not come up with a perfect plan for achieving those dreams. But nothing happens unless we try.

No, tomorrow is not guaranteed. But if tomorrow comes, wouldn’t it be nice to spend it doing something you love? You can. We all can. It just takes a little imagination and commitment. The rest is easy.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Your Best May Just Be Enough

March 6, 2023 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your week is off to a nice start.

First, an apology for the disappearing act last week. The guy who never gets sick did what he never does and … well, you know. It doesn’t happen very often and, thankfully, it never lasts long. If you’d like to know my secret, it’s simple. Diet, exercise, and clean living. You believe that, right?

On the other hand, I’m glad I wasn’t lost in the wilderness, because not one person came looking for me. Not even my wife. Of course, she’s sick, too. Let it never be said that Dave doesn’t share.

To look at me, you’d never guess I’m as healthy as I am. I’m old, I’m fat, my suspension is worn out, and I couldn’t stand up straight if my life depended on it. Exercise? Sure, I walk every day. From my office to the kitchen or bathroom. After that I have to sit down and rest. I had a heart attack 15 years ago, and I don’t go anywhere without my inhaler. Yet, I’m the healthiest I’ve been in decades.

How does that even make sense? It’s simple. I try to control the amount of junk I consume, and I’m as active as I can be given my lower back issues. And I take vitamins. Really good ones. Sure, they’re not cheap, but illness can be pretty costly, too. And, according to my blood tests over the years, what I’m doing is working. You know what they say – don’t mess with success.

Okay, I’m not trying to sell you on vitamins. In fact, most doctors don’t think we need them. Of course, they don’t make much money from healthy patients. “Diet and exercise.” That’s their advice. Eat the right foods and get 150 minutes of exercise every week. And then we go out into the real world of convenience foods and lower back pain.

I read last week about a study that found if we got even half the recommended amount of exercise – just under 11 minutes a day – we would see some pretty impressive health benefits. Sometimes, we have to be satisfied with what we can do instead of focusing on what we can’t. And once you’ve mastered 11 minutes a day, it’s not that hard to work in a couple more.

I joke about my physique, but the fact remains this body has to carry me all the way to the end. Yours, too. When you think of the demands we put on our body, it only makes sense to put something back into it. Small changes are better than no changes. You may never attain that ideal level of health and fitness, but you’ll always be glad you tried.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!