Active Life – Dave Glardon

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start, and your week is sliding into a fantastic end.

This is a special day for me. Today I will turn on my work computer for the last time. At the end of the day, it’ll be shut down, packed up, and shipped back to my employer. My desk will be rearranged to accommodate a single computer, a new keyboard, and dedicated space for a cocktail glass. Yes, I’m allowed. I asked my wife.

While I have no plans of sitting around all day, it will be a change waking up Monday morning to my own schedule. I intend to get up the same time I do now, no later than 5:30 AM. I’ve found over the years that my creativity peaks very early in the morning, and writing is something I plan to do. That, and walking. I can’t just sit around. I have to do something.

I once read that if you ask a woman to tell you about herself, she usually begins by telling you about her family. How long she’s been married, how many kids, how many grandchildren … you get the idea. Ask a man the same question and we’ll invariably start by telling you what we do for a living. That’s just how we’re wired. It’s how we identify with ourselves.

And when you take away that portion of our identity, we lose our sense of worth. It’s like, for the very first time in our adult lives, nobody has to rely on us for income. In fact, the money would go further with us out of the way. (I sure hope my wife isn’t reading this. She watches too many crime shows anyway. I’m not sure if it’s entertainment or apprenticeship training.)

I’ve been through some of these emotions during previous layoffs. “Oh, Dave, you were great! It’s just business. Now call your wife and tell her you’re unemployed.” Of course, back then I had to find a job as quickly as possible, and every day I didn’t, I became more and more discouraged. This time is different. My resume has seen its final edit.

Oh, I’ll continue to work. I don’t think there’s enough bourbon in the county to let me sit around the house all day. Besides, she prefers rum. My brother-in-law told her, “You’re getting twice the husband at half the pay!” Thanks for having my back, bro! Already she’s dreaming up projects to get me out of the house. So far, none have a thing to do with the pool.

But that can all wait until next week. Right now, I’m working through my final day on the job, and hoping to leave on a high note. My goal was always simple – pass on some of what I’ve learned over the years and leave the place a little better than I found it. To the extent I had any influence, I think I’ve succeeded at both.

So, with that, a very long and satisfying career comes to an end. It’s not the end, but a beginning. As I make my own place in my new world, I’m leaving behind a place for someone else to fill in the old. Okay, three or four someone elses. It’s my blog.

Finally, as this day begins, I’d be remiss in not thanking my wife for her support over the years. I stuck my neck out a lot and took some calculated risks others may have advised against, and she was there every step of the way. In fact, the only thing we’ve really disagreed about is today – retirement. I think it just reminds her she married an old man.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Have an awesome day and an even better weekend. And sometime this evening, let’s hoist a drink together in honor of my retirement. Any time zone works. As a wise old sailor once said, it’s five o-clock somewhere!

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Last week, we talked about making the most of our limitations to enjoy what’s left of our time on this planet. Hopefully, we’ll all be here for a long time to come, but we should still live each day as if it would be our last. That doesn’t mean live like there will be no consequences. If you do something you’ll pay for the rest of your life, you’ll probably live forever. Just ask Keith Richards.

As we age, things change. You ever wonder why old couples are so nice to one another? It’s simple. We can’t run as fast as we used to. Or duck. Observations I may have shared years ago have transformed into quiet chuckles of how funny that thought may (or may not) have been. Besides, I may want to eat a meal she’s cooked at some point. Spit is the least of my worries.

While those limitations may keep us out of trouble, they also get in the way of those fun things we wanted to do. Like skydiving. It’s something I’d like to try, but my left ankle collapses just getting out of bed. Plus, I’ve not been able to find any instructor willing to test the integrity of a parachute with me strapped to his chest. I’m pretty sure there’s a weight limit.

But I’ve often said that medical issues and physical limitations are valid only to the extent that we do something about them. Beyond that, they’re just an excuse. And you know how we love our excuses. Remember Redd Foxx on Sanford & Son? “It’s on account of my arth-a-ritis!” And if that didn’t work, he’d grab his chest. “It’s the big one! I’m comin’ to join ya, Elizabeth!” I’ve used both.

There are some things we just have to live with, but to the extent we can correct them, we should at least try. My wife has suffered with a self-destructive hip for ten years. It’s a hindrance, but she never wanted it to be an excuse. So, I used it as one of my own. “We can’t go dancing on account of her hip.” It’s saved me a lot of public humiliation over the years. And she doesn’t mind.

Last week, she finally bit the bullet and got a new hip. As the surgeon described the procedure later, I realized not all surgery is delicate and precise. He used instruments that were made for heavy truck maintenance. Think pry bars and air chisels. At one point I thought I heard a jackhammer, but that may have been from the dental clinic next-door.

And he didn’t mess around. He completely destroyed that old hip so there was no way she’d change her mind, and then replaced it with a bionic hip made of cobalt, titanium, and two complete sets of ball bearings, like they use for dancers and athletes. So, there goes that excuse. Guess I’ll have to enroll in dance lessons. And learn to run fast or be nice. She has the upper hand, now.

At the very least, she’ll be a lot better than she was. And the biggest challenge now me not becoming her excuse. “I’d love to go rock climbing, but Dave’s back can’t handle it.” Go ahead, sweetheart. I’ll stand here and catch you if you fall! She may have been gullible enough to marry me, but she’s not stupid. Besides, she still thinks she needs me, and I’m not about to prove her wrong.

If something is holding you back, odds are you can make it better. Nobody wants surgery, a diet, or a new exercise plan. Okay, not sane people. But don’t just settle for excuses. Fix what you can, and deal with the rest. You may not be able to move mountains, but you can walk to the edge and give ‘em a good hard kick. At least then you’ll have a real excuse to fall back on. Fix what’s broken and see what’s left. It may be less than you think. Until then, have an awesome day!

Tag: Active Life

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