Tag: Humor

If You’re Willing to Try Anything, You Can Accomplish Everything

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

There’s an ice cream commercial on TV asking a simple question – what would you do for a Klondike bar? Okay, first I’d have to drive to the store, because we don’t have any and the Klondike delivery guy hasn’t been around lately. My guess is he ate all the inventory. That’s what I did. Of course, his freezer is a lot bigger than mine.

I remember when I was in my twenties, I would do pretty much anything to make a little extra money. Well, you know. Anything moral and at least mostly legal. Over the years, I’ve always had a second job. I delivered pizzas and newspapers, worked for a moving company, drove a semi, and did custom woodworking. All this was in addition to my day job.

Back then, if you asked me what I would do for extra money, I had a simple answer. “I would skin-dive for Roto Rooter!” A little disgusting, maybe, but after three years of spending my nights on the receiving end of a few dozen bowling lanes, clearing pin jams and dealing with drunk bowlers, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t try.

My grandson is a lot the same. He just wants to make money. He’s done construction, landscaping, remodeling, and demolition. He’s done oil changes, driven a forklift, worked in a lumber store, managed a coffee shop, and made pizzas. And he’s only 20. Let’s just say he moves around a lot.

But the point is, he’s not afraid to work. He’ll do pretty much anything if he thinks he can do the job, and somebody is willing to pay him. I’ve seen him work three jobs at a time. Chip off the old block? Yeah, I’d say so. His mom is a hard worker as well, so I guess she gets at least some of the credit.

But I’ve never heard this kid say, “I’m not doing THAT for a living!” It all comes down to a simple question of opportunity … I need a job, and you need somebody to work. Let’s do it. And as a result, he’s gained a lot of skills that most kids his age will never have. If I were to list all the different jobs I’ve had, you’d think I was making it up. The nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Because I’ve done all those jobs, because I put need ahead of ego, there aren’t too many things I wouldn’t at least attempt today. I can do some pretty complex car repairs if needed. I can fix plumbing, though I’d rather not. I can do household wiring, carpentry, basic construction, and even gutted & remodeled our bathroom. I started twelve years ago and finished last week.

A little exaggeration, maybe, but you get the point. People who are willing to try anything can do anything. Success is a simple matter of making the decision to do it. That’s not to say there won’t be setbacks along the way, and the end result may cost almost as much as hiring a professional. But there’s something to be said for doing it yourself.

In my business, I seek out people with needs. Those needs may be self-imposed or thrust upon them by circumstances beyond their control. They may be financial, health-related, or simply to make the most of the things they already have. But the bottom line is, something needs to change. They dream of a better life and will do anything to achieve it. “Except that.” Really?

Well, then maybe the dream isn’t as strong as you think it is. I doubt many people, when asked in second grade what they wanted to be when they grew up, enthusiastically replied, “I wanna be a Wal-Mart greeter!” But you know, when the need is there, you do whatever it takes and worry about your ego later. And who knows, you may work your way up to cashier someday.

It’s easy to make a list of the things we want, and it’s just as easy to make a list of the things we’ll never do to get them. And that’s okay – life is about choices. You can choose not to do anything to achieve your goals, and life can choose to reward you by leaving you right where you are while somebody else gets the golden egg. Somebody who wasn’t so picky.

It’s hard sometimes to see beyond our immediate objections when opportunity knocks. It may appear too complex, or too difficult. You may think it’s a little beneath your dignity, or that others may laugh. The question is, how strong is the need? How powerful is the dream? If it’s something you want badly enough, there really isn’t much you won’t do to achieve it.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Every Success Begins with Courage

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Over the weekend, there was news of a retiree in Florida who was walking his puppy along a body of water when a small alligator shot up on the bank, grabbed the puppy, and ran back into the water. The elderly man jumped in the water, dragged the alligator to shore, and wrestled the puppy from its jaws, all without losing his cigar. I’d say he gets the badass of the year award.

The story had a happy ending. The puppy escaped with a minor injury, the man had a few lacerations from the alligator’s teeth, and the alligator is back in the water, a little more leery of anything that’s tough enough to strut around on two legs. I’d say that’s a win all the way around.

I was listening to a motivational CD last night where the speaker quoted a line from a movie that summed up this story perfectly … “All it takes is twenty seconds of insane courage.” Okay, in this case, I’d say it was more like a half-second, which makes it all the more insane. But you don’t always have time to think. Where alligators are concerned, that’s probably a good thing.

Some of you probably remember that quote as coming from the movie, “We Bought a Zoo.” The line was spoken by Matt Damon as he encouraged his son to throw caution to the wind and express his affection to the girl of his dreams. As one who’s been there in years gone by, I can certainly relate. Trust me when I say I crashed & burned on that one several times.

But the premise holds true through a lot of things in life. Fear is the greatest obstacle holding us back from accomplishing a lot of our dreams. Even if that dream is simply to get the landlord to accept a late payment, it takes a mountain of courage sometimes to pick up the phone and make that call. But it takes twenty seconds (or less) to dial the number.

I’ve never been good when it comes to the phone. I’ll do anything to accomplish my goal without having to talk to anybody. And those who know me probably find that really hard to believe, because once I start talking, I never shut up. But real people don’t respond with, “Press 1 to listen to obnoxious music for an hour while we decide whether to answer your call.”

Of course, they do this with repeated assurances that your call really is important and will be answered in the order in which it was received. And don’t dare bump a button on the phone or mutter soft curses out of sheer frustration, because it’ll respond with, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand your request.  Please check your attitude and try again later.” And then it hangs up.

Okay, I’m drifting way off topic. We were talking about courage. Specifically, how twenty seconds of courage is all it takes to begin moving toward your goal. Courage to do what? That depends on what you hope to accomplish. But regardless, until you take that first step, nothing happens, good or bad. A year from now, you’ll still be thinking about it.

And the problem with that is we don’t always have a year to debate and build courage. When an alligator grabs your puppy, you have microseconds. Other problems may leave a little more breathing room, but sooner or later you have to take the plunge. There is no other option if you want anything to change.

Thomas Jefferson once said if you want something you’ve never had you must be willing to do something you’ve never done. There’s no other way. That may mean asking a friend for help, inviting a customer to your store, sharing a business presentation, taking a new job, moving to a new city, or a hundred other things. And they all begin with twenty seconds of courage.

If you’ve been putting off that conversation with the boss, schedule the meeting. If you’ve been thinking of asking somebody on a date, dial their number. If you want to share a business idea with a potential partner, make the invitation. It takes twenty seconds to initiate action on any of these goals, but once you take that first step, it’s that much easier to continue.

We all like to think we’re fearless, or at least not too easily intimidated. But the thing we fear most is whatever our mind conjures up in the moments before we need to take action. It may be as real as a hungry alligator, or as imaginary as a trusted friend waiting for the opportunity to humiliate you. But until you muster up that twenty seconds of courage, you’ll never know.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

That’s It! I Want My Dessert!!!

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Today is a new day. A fresh start. A chance to spread a little cheer and find a little for myself. No, I’m not drinking. I make it a point never to do that before breakfast. Aaannnd, I just finished my breakfast, so all options are on the table. Boss, if you’re reading this, I’m just kidding! (wink-wink).

Okay, my past few posts have been pretty heavy. Life works that way sometimes, and every now and then we need a good shot of reality. We’ve been there. I read this morning that today marks 5 years since 2020 began. I think we can all relate. So, excuse me if I get a little silly for a change. I’ve been accused of that once or twice, usually by my pastor.

Of course, he’s the guy who says we can’t just jump straight into Christmas. We have to observe Advent first. I never really knew what that meant, but let me explain what I’ve picked up over the years. It’s winter. It’s cold. It’s snowing. And before we’re allowed to celebrate the coming of Christ, we have to immerse ourselves in the drudgery that came before him. Got it?

Well, as much as I love my church and my pastor, here’s a novel idea. We’ve been through Advent for the past 10 months. Can we give ourselves time off for good behavior and find something to be happy about? I think we’ve earned it.

Sure, there’s something to be said for acknowledging life’s challenges so you can better appreciate the good stuff. It’s like eating Brussels sprouts before you can taste dessert. I get it. But there’s a reason I didn’t gain a lot of weight as a child – I didn’t get a lot of dessert. Some things just aren’t worth it, and those pungent green cootie-heads are at the top of the list.

But there’s also something to be said for stepping around the mud on your way into a party. Just because it’s there, that doesn’t mean we have to wallow in it. Not alone, anyway. I’m told mud-wallowing with friends can be a little … shall we say … exhilarating? But you still come out smelly, and nobody wants to be around that.

So, we look beyond the obvious and find something a little more enjoyable to occupy our time. Like dessert. Yes, I know, vegetables are loaded with vitamins. And I haven’t found a single vitamin since childhood that I want to taste. But I’m told there’s a whole industry for those of us who don’t like the flavor of vomit, so they make these things we can just swallow instead. Voila!

But this isn’t about vitamins or leafy green, semi-edible vegetables. It’s about finding a little joy. It’s about happiness. It’s about getting past all that surrounds us every day, the chains we can never seem to fully escape, and immersing ourselves into a world where people smile and laugh and sing. But no dancing. That’s where I draw the line. If you’d ever seen me dance, you’d understand.

Sometimes, my friends, we have to turn off the news, shut down the computer, and escape into an alternate reality where things like hope and victory prevail. We have to dream, to envision a more fulfilling existence, and plot … I mean, plan … a strategy for achieving it.

We can’t change the world around us, but we can change its effect on us. We can’t control circumstances, but we can control our reaction to them. We can’t change what has been to this point in life, but we can influence what is to be. And it all begins in that magical part of our brain where anything is possible.

Sure, at some point you come back to reality. At least I hope so. As much as I love the vision of traveling the beaches of the world, there are things right here that require my attention. Important things, like my job, the house, a leaky faucet, this mess in the basement … damn.

But here’s the point I want you to take away from this message – without dreams, none of the rest even matters. Work is important, but only if there’s something you’re working for … something other than a bill next month that’s not doubled because you couldn’t pay it this month. There’s more to life, friends. A lot more.

We don’t need any reminders that 2020 isn’t over, and 2021 isn’t shaping up very well, either. We can’t escape the challenges that surround us, but we can work our way around them. And it all begins with a dream. Okay, and letting ourselves sing happy songs right after Thanksgiving. Put up the tree, turn on the lights, and skip right to the good stuff! You’ve earned it.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

And Here We Go Again …

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Hump Day! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

I’d like to begin by thanking you all for your kind words regarding the loss of our family dog. We all go through moments of pain, and what makes those moments so much more bearable is knowing you have family and friends who care. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Well, 2020 is winding down, and the world is still spinning at a rate of about one revolution per day. Funny, if it suddenly slowed down, it would still spin at one revolution per day … the days would just be a lot longer. Has anybody checked the speedometer lately?

And, with news of two potential vaccines on the horizon, we are once again in the midst of a deadly resurgence in Coronavirus cases. Worse still, there are many in our nation who still don’t believe it’s real. A nurse recently spoke of patients dying in her care, adamant that they had to have some other affliction because “Coronavirus is a hoax.”

Well, folks, it’s real. It’s very real, and not only are new cases skyrocketing around the world, but hospitals are full, intensive care beds are nowhere to be found, and local morgues can’t keep up with the influx of deceased patients. Not to be a downer, but it doesn’t get any more real than this.

If you’ve been reading my posts over the past couple of months, we’ve talked about the possibility this could happen. Nobody expected it the first time, and we were caught off-guard. But you know the saying – fool me once, shame on you … fool me twice, shame on me. I think more than a few of us are sitting in that second category right now.

And the thing is, we go through these things all through our lives. Not anything of this magnitude, thankfully, but life is full of twists and turns. One day you’re living the good life, healthy as a horse, with a great job, an awesome family, and money in the bank. Who could ask for more?

But it can all change in an instant. A new CEO comes in and says, “We’re making changes.” You get an unwelcome call from the doctor. You wake up to the smell of smoke. A dump truck swerves into your lane. Or maybe it’s just Human Resources saying you’ve done a great job until now, but the company’s needs have changed.

Okay, first things first – life goes on. First we cry, then we dust ourselves off and pick up the pieces, and then we grow. The only other option is to just give up, and most of us are better than that. We know nothing bad lasts forever, and as long as we’re able to draw another breath, we can turn things around. We do it all the time.

So, here’s the question I want to pose. What have you done differently since the last crisis? What steps have you taken to make sure you can weather the next storm? Are you working on your health? Have you done anything to increase your income? Have you saved a little for a rainy day? Or are you right back where you were, pretending it’ll never happen again?

Nobody likes the thought of a second job. Oh, maybe if we have a really strong goal, like buying a new car or taking a nice vacation. But beyond all that, it’s just more work. One more thing to cut into your quiet time after a day on the “real” job. But when the boss calls you and says the doors won’t be open for a month or two, that extra money would sure be nice.

Some things we can’t change. Our health is largely dependent on factors beyond our control. Accidents will happen, and jobs will come and go. We can’t change a raging virus, or how it will affect our jobs and families. But we absolutely can do something to ward off debt collectors if our primary source of income were to suddenly disappear. The thing is, we have to start NOW.

If you want to be in control of your income, you have to take control. Nobody will hand it to you. You have to stay ahead of the trends. And never before have home-based businesses been in such a position to thrive. People aren’t shopping in stores like they were. They want product delivered to their home. And that won’t change when the virus goes away.

A business doesn’t have to be massive to generate enough money to make a difference. Sometimes a little extra is more than enough. And if it’s not, you know what to do. Best of all, that’s a decision you get to make – nobody else makes it for you.

Take control. Grab the bull by the horns. Shape your own destiny. But do it now. The longer you wait to get started, the longer you’ll be wishing you had.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

If You Want to See More Clearly, Try Covering Your Eyes

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning!  I hope your day is off to a great start.

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Some of you have commented, and I think a few have enjoyed the reprieve. I get a little wordy sometimes, which is to say I never shut up. If you knew me personally, that would come as no surprise.

I can’t say this break was intentional, but I’m learning not to force myself when the muse just isn’t there. We all need time to reflect, and sometimes to just step away. The past few weeks have brought a mix of emotion, so I let it flow the best way I can. I know a lot of you feel the same.

A month ago, a very close family member was diagnosed with Covid-19. Thankfully, the symptoms were mild, and it resolved without any treatment. We can be thankful that, for some people, it isn’t as severe. The rest of us were tested as a precaution, and we were all negative. Funny how, in the medical community, “negative” is good. I’ve never quite understood that.

Last week, we got news that our dog may be very sick. We’re taking him to a canine oncologist today to confirm what appears to be bladder cancer. He’s shown some symptoms for a few months, but veterinary appointments were not plentiful during Covid. It took more than two months to get him in, and the outlook wasn’t good. We’re praying for better news today.

And through the middle of all this came the election – a quadrennial event that used to bring out the best in us, regardless of our differences. It was a time of hope, a time for us to make our voices heard, and to pat others on the back in the knowledge that, whether our side won or lost, we could all at least hope for a positive outcome.

I was reminded the other day of my last Indian Ocean cruise in the Navy, way back in 1984. It was in the final days of the Cold War, and just in case we weren’t aware of the adversarial nature of our relationship with Russia, we received a daily reminder every morning as a Russian spy plane would fly past with an F-14 on each side. They saw us, we saw them. Cat and mouse.

One afternoon, the captain told us we were allowing a Russian cruiser to come along our port side. I grabbed my camera and joined a dozen other guys on a weather deck to view the enemy first-hand. There they were, casually bobbing along as if taunting us to make a move. As cameras clicked, we shielded the sun from our eyes to get a better look. The mood was somber.

At one point, a guy next to me handed me his camera with a high-powered zoom lens. As I focused in on the other ship, I saw my enemy’s face for the first time. There they were, dressed in dungarees, not unlike our own. Some were snapping pictures as the others shielded the sun from their eyes to get a better look. Their mood was somber. It was a moment I’ll never forget.

You see, in that moment I realized my “enemy” was a sailor, just like me. They missed their family, they missed good food, and wanted nothing more than a peaceful existence with prosperity and hope for a brighter future. The only difference between us was geography, and the leaders we would follow into battle if the time ever came. Thankfully, it didn’t.

It’s easy to see somebody else as the enemy when all we know about them is that they don’t look like us or think exactly like we do. It’s easy to take one aspect of somebody’s life, a simple difference of opinion, and assume the worst about their motives and character. After all, your intent is pure, so anybody who disagrees must be impure. It’s that easy, friends.

And it’s just as easy to look across a few hundred yards of separation and see somebody who, deep down, wants mostly the same things we do. They want peace. They want security. They want justice and a brighter future. We may define those things in different terms, and we may see a different path to achieving them. But that doesn’t make us enemies. It just means we need to look closer to find that common ground.

Our nation has been through a time of turmoil like most of us have never seen. In some respects, the worst is behind us, and in others, it’s just beginning. But make no mistake – we will never begin to heal until we put down the swords and work toward a common purpose. It’s there if we only reach out and embrace it. There is no other way.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

The Time to Get Started is Now

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

It’s Monday, not to mention the last week of October. Just in case you needed a reminder that … you know, after this, things start getting real. For those of us in the US (okay, most of the US), daylight savings time ends this week. After that, we’re officially in the build-up to the holidays. Not that the stores have noticed. I think they still have last year’s Christmas displays up.

Which reminds me, I need to get my grandson over here to put up our outdoor lights. I like to get that done before the first snow falls. Something about climbing 16 feet up a ladder that’s resting on a bed of ice just sounds dangerous. So, I pay him to do it for me. Besides, he’s young and his bones will heal faster.

This is also the time of year when we start to complain. Okay, we got an early start on it this year. Like back in March. I’d say we were entitled. But every year around now we take notice of how much earlier the stores put out their holiday inventory and how the whole thing has just turned into one big, commercialized mess. In other words, “This is gonna be expensive!” Yep.

And I’ll be honest – I think we do miss the whole holiday spirit in the rush of the season. The cleaning, the baking, the meal preparation, throwing the dishes away because there are too many to wash … and we cap it all off by standing in the drizzling cold at 4:00 in the morning to get a 92-inch TV for $6.95. But hey, they’re giving away free Furbies to the first 100 customers!

Okay, it’s obvious I haven’t been Black Friday shopping in a long time. It just never was my thing. Besides, I’m usually still too full of whatever was on the table the day before, most of which my body can convert to gas in a matter of minutes. Let’s just say I’m doing the world a favor by staying home.

Black Friday sales are there for one thing, and one thing only – to get whatever is left of your paycheck before anybody else gets their greedy paws on it. And when the money runs out, we go home. Right? Are you serious??? That’s why God made plastic! And if you’ve already reached your credit limit, have no fear! Customer service reps are standing by to give you an increase.

Well, let’s get down to it. If you don’t have the money to buy something today, odds are you won’t have the money to pay it off next year. We all know that. And this year has been especially hard on people. A lot of credit cards have been maxed out at the grocery store buying superfluous items like … you know, food. That doesn’t leave much for anything else.

Several months ago, I posed a rather important question. Could you do 2020 again? Hopefully most of us made it through with our health and finances relatively intact, but could you survive another round? Was there any point this year where you wished you hadn’t spent quite so much last year? “If only I’d known what was coming.”

Well, here’s the thing – we don’t know what’s coming. We never know. Hopefully this virus will fade away, but the numbers right now aren’t working in our favor. Almost every expert says it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Can you survive another round? Can your employer? How will that affect the decisions you make over the next couple of months?

As soon as things get dicey, we all start singing the same tune. “I have to do something to make more money!” So, why do we always wait until things are really bad before we look for ways to make them better?  Sure, better late than never. But you can’t just snap your fingers and double your income. It takes time. Time that most of us are wasting today.

Are there things you could do if you suddenly found yourself short of money? Are you short today? Let’s be honest. We could all stand to have a little extra coming in. Believe me, two years ago when I found myself facing brain surgery, I thought about that a lot. “This business could have made all the difference in the world. Why didn’t I get started sooner?”  

Dig the well before you get thirsty. What’s the worst thing that can happen? The drought never comes, and you have a little extra water on hand? Never once have I heard anybody say they wish they hadn’t saved money or built an extra income on the side. Because the reality is, we’ll all get thirsty at some point in our lives. And the decisions we make today will make a world of difference when that time comes.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Busy is a Four-Letter Word

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

My goal for the past few years has been to send out some words of inspiration each morning. For the most part, I’ve accomplished that goal. Some days are better than others, and some days there’s nothing at all. I’m sure I could come up with some pretty good excuses, but the fact is I’ve just been really busy. Boss, I hope you’re reading this.

Any time we run into old friends, the conversation goes something like this. “It’s so good to see you! Has it really been that long? I’ve been meaning to call you but – (here it comes) – I’ve just been really busy!” And, nine times out of ten the other person nods their head and says, “Me too.” Good save! Because, let’s not forget the fact that they didn’t call you, either.

Busy is a way of life. We’re all busy. We all have too many things to do and not enough time to get them all done. And it doesn’t help that we’re still not supposed to be going out and spending time with friends, or even spending too much time in the grocery store. There’s a virus out there folks, and it’s picking up steam again. This has been a really long year.

I miss my friends. At work, I was designated the “official greeter of the fifth floor” because I said good morning to everybody. Bosses, janitors, co-workers, they all got a daily greeting. My day couldn’t really begin until I’d made my rounds. Sure, it took a little time. By “a little time” I mean a few seconds each. But it put all of us in a more productive frame of mind. Win-win.

Now, I’m working from home. My office is in the basement, and nobody comes down here unless there’s a tornado. My daily greetings extend to anybody sitting in the living room as I take a bathroom break, and the people I interact with in online meetings throughout the day. It’s better than nothing, but I miss being able to chat with old friends.

And here’s the thing – I could talk to some of those people every day. Only problem is, we’re not supposed to do that while we’re on the clock, and I’ve never really exchanged phone numbers with anybody. Not even close friends. Why? I know how to find them, and they know how to find me. But knowing is one thing – doing something about it is another matter entirely.

When was the last time you gave a friend a call? When was the last time a friend called you? Odds are, if you’re over the age of forty, you have to think about that. There are just too many other things competing for our time. Work, kids, household chores, football games, presidential debates … the list goes on and on. “I meant to call you, but I’ve been too busy.”

Well, let’s just throw this out there – if you’re too busy to call a friend, then it’s time to offload some of that “busy-ness” and carve out some time to live. I’m not talking about exchanging oxygen – I’m talking about living, finding some level of enjoyment and personal accomplishment every day. Not just on the job – in life.

Just about every company I’ve ever worked for talks about work-life balance. Okay, usually in their recruiting material, but they at least recognize the value of rejuvenating at the end of the day. And here’s a tip, friends – rejuvenating doesn’t mean cooking dinner, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, or fixing the car. It means finding something that makes you smile, maybe even laugh.

And few things make us smile and laugh more than talking with friends. On your worst day, it’s hard not to enjoy the company of an old friend. You may not be the life of the party, and you may walk right back into whatever gloom is waiting as soon as the encounter is over. But for that brief moment in time, you feel better.

Are you too busy to call a friend? Then do something about it. Don’t have any phone numbers? I doubt that, but okay – get some. I know most of us haven’t seen a phone book in a long time, but they do still exist. You can find numbers online, look in the church directory, ask a mutual friend, or just send an email. “I miss chatting with you. Can I give you a call?”

Especially now, when we’ve all been isolated more than normal, it’s so important that we maintain relationships and spend at least a few minutes each day with somebody who can take our mind off the world’s problems. Make the time. Pick up the phone. Reach out. You never know – they may be missing you as much as you’re missing them.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

If You Want to Win, You’ve Got to Play

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

There was once a young man who was convinced happiness was his to behold, if only he could win the lottery. Years went by, but luck never fell his way. Finally, he turned to prayer. “God please! It doesn’t even have to be a mega-lottery! Just enough to make my life better. And I’ll even donate some to charity!” We always throw that one in there for good measure.

Well, this went on for several more years, and still no luck. And his frustration was beginning to show. “What’s up, God? The Bible says, ‘ask and ye shall receive.’ So, when is it my turn? When do I receive?” As he settled back into a corner to sulk, this booming voice came down from the Heavens. “Help me out here, Jim … buy a ticket!”

We’ve all met people who seem to have all the luck. Everything they touch turns to gold. Success is attracted to them like ants to a picnic basket. They walk around all the time with a smile on their face and a song in their heart. They live in the nicest house, drive the nicest cars, and vacation all over the world. It’s enough to make you sick.

And you sit there watching in amazement, certain that sooner or later, luck will come your way. It’s the law of averages. Sit in one place long enough and sooner or later the bluebird of happiness will land on your shoulder. It has to land somewhere, right? And a moving target is harder to hit. Yeah. Tell that to the pigeon that just flew over as you were walking into church.

Okay, I’m just gonna throw this out there. Luck is absolutely a factor. It’s a huge factor. In fact, most success would never come without a certain element of luck. Surprised? All this time I’ve been telling you that you can accomplish anything, and now I’m saying it only happens if you encounter some good luck? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

But you can’t hit a home run from the dugout, and you can’t catch the winning pass from the grandstands. Luck plays a part, but first you have to be in the game. You have to step up to the plate, bat in hand, and stare down a fastball. You have to plow through a line of blockers and run down the field to … okay, that’s why I never caught the winning pass. I don’t run.

And, in all honesty, there’s a little more to it than that. I never really wanted to run. While the star hitters were at batting practice, I was riding my mini bike. While the football team was in the weight room deadlifting Volkswagens, I was drawing pictures. Oh, I got to play. League rules, you understand. But my position was usually tackling dummy. Wonder why?

You see, merely stepping onto the field isn’t enough, unless you’re hoping a fast pitch will accidentally hit your bat and ricochet over the center-field wall. You also have to be ready for that perfect pitch and know what to do when it comes. It takes muscle to swing the bat that hard, not to mention a well-developed eye-to-hand coordination. It takes practice.

I can’t remember who said this first, but success is what happens when opportunity meets preparedness. We all think opportunity is the hard part, but it really isn’t. Anybody can try out for the team, or apply for a job, or start a new business. Opportunity is the easy part. But unless you’re ready to capitalize on that opportunity, it’ll just move on to somebody who is.

The two things you can control – the only two things – are stepping up to the plate and taking a swing. Sure, your swing has to be good, but that comes with practice. You know, stepping up to the plate and taking a swing. The rest largely relies on factors beyond your control – the speed of the pitch, the curve of the ball, the dryness of the pitcher’s hand – and just plain old luck.

Success in any endeavor relies largely on luck and it won’t always go the way you’d planned. Jobs will come and go. Customers won’t always want what you have to offer. Kids will eventually follow their own path. But the longer you stay in the game, the better your odds of scoring a hit.

Opportunity is the game itself – to capitalize on opportunity, you need to get in the game and play your best every day. The more times you step up to the plate, the more passes you throw, the better your odds of success. Luck will still play a part. You can’t change that, but you can stack the odds in your favor. Control what you can. The rest will work itself out.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Success Is Not A Zero-Sum Game

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a fantastic start.

The weekend is over and it’s back to the old grind. You ever notice how, when we want a new job, we’ll do anything and everything to get it? We send out resumes, we dress up, we interview … we’d rub ourselves down with alcohol and jump through flaming hoops if that’s what it took. But once we’ve got the job, all we think about is the alcohol. Go figure.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Or, as Erma Bombeck so eloquently observed, the grass is always greener over the septic tank. I’m sure there’s some hidden motivational gem in there – I just haven’t figured it out yet. But I have noticed several clumps of bright green grass in my back yard that coincide with the dog’s potty habits. Move on, Dave.

We always want what we don’t have, and when we’ve got it we want something else. That’s human nature. It begins not long after we first open our eyes and realize somebody else has something we don’t. It could be a scrap of toilet paper, but it’s the most awesome and fun-looking scrap of toilet paper on the planet. And if we get our hands on it – in the mouth it goes.

This concept is on full display with my two youngest grandchildren. Okay, they’ve stopped eating toilet paper, but if one has a toy – any toy – it becomes a conquest for the other to get it away from them. They know the rules of sharing … it’s yours until you put it down. And if the other yawns or scratches their nose, it’s gone. Not very quietly, I might add.

And as soon as that toy is gone, the one they were playing with swaps hands, and the cycle repeats itself. They both strut around with their new treasure, until the other looks away from theirs for just a second. It’s their first lesson in legal justice – possession is nine points of the law. And if all else fails, it simply comes down to which one can throw the best punch.

You’d think we’d outgrow that as we get older, but we really don’t. We want what’s in front of us until it’s not in front of us anymore. Oh, we’re proud of our accomplishment and we revel in it for a while. Until something shinier comes along. Then we immediately launch a plan to get it. Thankfully, biting and pulling hair isn’t part of the plan. Most times.

And you know what? That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, or that you’re never satisfied with what you’ve got. It simply means you can still dream, and you’ve still got enough inner drive to achieve even greater goals. Okay, it means you can wish for it. Sometimes, we’re a little lacking when it comes to motivation. And that’s what stops most of us dead in our tracks.

In business, I hear people all the time saying, “I could never succeed at something like that. It’s just not who I am.” Fair enough. But you know what they say … behind every successful man is an astonished woman. So, let me ask you this. How many times in your life have you succeeded at something to the point that you shocked even yourself?

If you have a job, you succeeded at something most of us don’t really enjoy, where the odds of success are stacked against you because there are several, maybe hundreds, of other people trying to knock you out of the running. And they may not punch and pull your hair, but they’ll do anything possible to stack the odds in their favor, because only one person can win.

But success is not a zero-sum game where one person has to lose in order for another to win. And even though you may keep score, nobody else does. Oh, maybe if they think they can laugh at you for still being in the hunt. You know the quickest way to shut people like that up? Quit. Give up. They’ll stop talking on the spot, because now you’re just like them.

Now, if the message you took from that is to stop trying, we need to talk. Nobody’s opinion matters besides your own. And in chasing your dreams, you’ll encounter lots of other people with the same goal. But unlike that one position the company is hiring, any number of people can achieve the same dream. Unless the dream is to beat everybody else, and then you’re on your own.

It’s fun to win, but winning means somebody else has to lose. And sometimes, that somebody is you. Find something where there’s room for everybody, where there’s no hair-pulling to hold you down, and give it all you’ve got. Success is easy once you learn how to create your own.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

What On Earth Are You Eating???

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

I like food. We’ll just get that out there right now. If you could see my belly, that’s all the proof you’d need. And so, it stands to reason that I might spend a little time checking out online recipes. Especially since Red Lobster decided the world no longer needs its coconut shrimp bites. Thanks a lot! But, as it turns out, there’s an excellent copycat recipe online. So there!

Lately, I’ve been focusing more on healthy eating. That’s not to say I actually do it – just that it’s something I think about. But it’s the thought that counts, right? My wife always says that as she opens her Christmas gifts, so it must be true. Now, if somebody could just explain that to my bathroom scale.

The problem with healthy eating, in my opinion, is simply a matter of taste. Well, sometimes you have to get past the smell first. There is no green leafy vegetable on earth that smells good when you cook it. God didn’t invent one. If you’ve ever wondered what a wet diaper would smell like in the microwave, just steam some broccoli. The two are about identical.

But God has a sense of humor. I love a nice cold beer. Problem is, we can’t just drink beer all day. I’m sure I read that somewhere. Broccoli, on the other hand, is supposed to be one of nature’s most nutrient-packed foods, right up there with liver and spinach. Plus, you can never eat too much broccoli because it tastes like turpentine. I’ve done the research.

Yet, as I look through row after row of whacked-out flavors of potato chips, it occurs to me that corporate chemists can replicate just about any flavor. I have my doubts on that, but I’ve never actually tried the vinegar & pumpkin spice, so for all I know they nailed it.  And if that’s the case, answer me this – why hasn’t anybody figured out how to make broccoli taste like beer?

America is one of the richest, most technologically advanced nations, yet we are among the most mal-nourished people on the planet. Notice I didn’t say under-nourished. We’re eating plenty. Too much, in fact. But what we’re eating is about as nutritious as those Styrofoam peanuts in the Amazon box. Don’t laugh. I’m pretty sure they’re on the keto diet.

And, being the land of opportunity, there is an entire industry based on helping us spend our hard-earned money on weight-loss products that promise to make us lose weight while we sleep and taste like those Styrofoam peanuts with a dash of powdered almonds. Nobody loses weight, because nobody actually eats that stuff. Not without fries.

Well, the good news is you can get used to anything if you give it enough time. I’ve seen kids in other countries eating grasshoppers without pinching their nose, so I know it can be done. And I hear they’re loaded with protein. Yeah. So is peanut butter, and it goes a lot further on a piece of toast.

To be honest, there are some meal replacements that taste great, have a pleasant consistency, and provide all the nutrients you need to stay healthy. “But they’re so expensive!” Really? Compared to what? A Big Mac? Take another look. And take another taste while you’re at it. They’ve come a long way over the years. The meal bars, that is.

I think the biggest problem with some of these products is in our own mind. You drink a shake that has all the vitamins and nutrients you need and enough fiber to hold you over for at least a few hours. You’re satisfied – not full, but no longer hungry. And then your brain kicks in. “Well, that was my drink. Now what’s for lunch?” Willpower is still a factor.

I’ve found a brand of meal replacements I really like. I don’t care for certain flavors, and none of them taste like steak. But you can always get vanilla and mix it up the way you want. Nothing says we can’t get creative. Just don’t load up your breakfast smoothie with candy bars and caramel syrup. It kinda defeats the purpose.

We can only cheat the system for so long when it comes to our health. Nothing says you can’t have that cheeseburger, and we should enjoy the things we eat. But balance it out with something healthier. Whether that’s broccoli, smoothies, or meal bars, find what works for you and stick with it.

Good health is one of those things we think about later in life, after we’ve made all the wrong decisions and are living with the consequences. We’re in the middle of a global health crisis that isn’t getting any better. Nothing can prevent us from getting sick, which is why it’s all the more important to be healthy at the outset. You can only take out what you put in. Make it count.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved