Tag: Memories

Remember the Good Times, and Always Give Thanks

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Hump Day! I hope your day is off to a great start.

For those of us in the United States, today really isn’t the middle of the week, because tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving. Most of us are off work tomorrow, and a large percentage of us don’t have to work Friday. You know what that means? A day of stuffing ourselves with more food than we’d normally eat in a week, followed by a day of gas. Woohoo!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. Family, food, and football, and I don’t have to go anywhere near the kitchen. Which is fine with me, because I’ve seen what my wife does in there, and let’s just say I stand with my back to the wall as she’s making stuffing. Even then, after the bird is cooked, she scoops that stuff back out of its behind and expects us to eat it?

We won’t actually be celebrating with a huge meal tomorrow, because my daughter (the nurse) has to work. So, we’re putting off the meal until Saturday. And I know, we shouldn’t be getting together at all this year. But we babysit the little ones after school, so it’s not like we haven’t been sharing germs all week. I don’t think one more day will make that much of a difference.

Besides, Thanksgiving isn’t really about seeing how quickly we can retire another pair of pants. It’s a day of giving thanks for the blessings we enjoy every day. It’s a day to appreciate family, friends, good food, good health, and a job that we hopefully don’t have to go back to until Monday. And believe me, with the year we’ve been through, we’ve earned it.

We all have our own traditions for Thanksgiving. In years gone by, it meant a 10-hour ride to Grandma’s, where dozens of other family members would pile in and share a three-bedroom country house with a tin roof and one bathroom. As kids, we slept in cars most of the time. That’s not all we did outside. Let’s just say there were never any weeds in Grandma’s shrubs.

You never knew which of our extended family would show up, and it was always a treat to see a cloud of dust coming down the dirt road as somebody else drove up. And you know, with all those people crammed into a small house, and all the hubbub of making dinner and homemade pies, I don’t recall any animosity or cross words at all. Everybody just got along.

The thing I remember the most was the smell of Grandma’s kitchen as the turkey slowly baked, desserts were whipped up, and we were recruited to churn butter, peel potatoes, and snap green beans. Dinner was an all-hands effort, and it was some of the best food ever. Or maybe it wasn’t. I can’t really remember. All I know is it was some of the happiest times of my life.

And for that, I’m thankful. I wish everybody had a Grandma like mine, with ten kids and God knows how many grandchildren. I have cousins I’ve never met, or if I have it was only once. We all came from different places and lived different lives. But somehow, we got along. We laughed. We played. We shared. And the memories of those times were the greatest gift ever.

Okay, I’m probably forgetting some of the inevitable conflict, but those are the things that tend to fade over time. Our brain can only hold so much, so it’s natural that we hang onto the good memories and set aside the bad. That’s what being thankful is all about. It’s about not just forgiving, but forgetting, and filling that vacuum with memories worth remembering.

So, wherever you are, whatever your plans for tomorrow (or any day), take a moment to think of the things for which you’re thankful. Think of somebody who has blessed your life in ways you may not have ever expressed. Then reach out and let them know. It may not be a big deal to you, but it may mean the world to them. And think of how good it’ll make you feel.

Thankfulness is a state of mind. It doesn’t mean we don’t want a little more or wish things could be a little better. It’s simply an acknowledgment that things really aren’t so bad and that, no matter what our station in life, we’ve all been blessed with a little more than we may deserve.

Inner peace comes from a simple acknowledgment of those blessings. You can’t do it if you’re carrying around baggage full of regret. If something needs to be fixed, fix it. If somebody needs forgiveness, give it. Today, tomorrow, and every day. That’s my wish for you, my friends. Happy Thanksgiving!

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Well, How Did Those Plans Work Out?

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

As I sit here in complete peace and quiet, my wife is at our daughter’s house getting her kids ready for school. One is in kindergarten, one is in first grade. Oh yeah, and they have a 20-year-old brother. Don’t ask. I told my daughter she did that completely backward. I’ve tried calculating her age when these two get into their teenage years. I ran out of fingers and toes.

I remember when our oldest was born and people would say, “You’re so young to be starting a family.” Okay, I was 22, my wife was 18 – they were talking to her. And my response was always the same. “We’re doing this now so that, when we get older, our kids will be grown and moved out and we’ll have all that time to ourselves.” Read that again. Now you can laugh.

Oh, she moved out. On her 18th birthday, as we were putting candles on a cake, she was packing her bags. It wasn’t a pretty day. But in a little over a year she was home. A year later we became grandparents. At least she did it while we were young. By the time he grew up, we’d still have plenty of time for ourselves (more laughter).

Meanwhile our youngest graduated high school and took off to college. We were so proud. A year later that excursion ended. Well, the actual college part of it. I was still paying for those classes five years later.

All the while, we were doing the parent thing for a third time. My grandson was my best buddy. We did everything together – amusement parks, trips to the “guy store” (Sears), basketball in the street, and his first rock concert. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with my grandparents, and I wanted him to have a different experience. Then he grew up.

I knew it was coming the first time I took him to football practice and, as he was getting ready to get out of my truck, I said, “Hey! Where’s my kiss?” He looked at the team assembled in front of us, then looked at me like, “Are you nuts?” The look in his eyes said it all. I settled for a half-hearted hug and accepted a sad reality. Grandpa wouldn’t always be the center of his universe.

Life changes. And yet, the more it changes, the more it stays the same. I’ve lost count of how many times our daughters have moved back in “for a week or two.” Since the first one moved out in 1998, we’ve had an empty nest for a total of about five years. And just about the time our oldest granddaughter was feeding herself, along came two more.

You know what they say about the best-laid plans. Forty years ago, I really thought we’d be out traveling the country by now, retired and wealthy, flying back to see the kids whenever we started missing them. Okay, forty years ago I still thought I’d be a rock star. Yeah, that never happened.

Now, as we plan what I hope will be a long winter escape in the motorhome, I think of the life we’d be leaving behind. The kids, our house, family dinners, babysitting, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, trash night, the neighbor’s dogs … uh huh. I won’t even be looking in the mirror for semis.

But I know that, about a month into that trip, we’ll start missing home. A month later we’ll wonder why we ever left. Two months later we’ll come home and immediately start planning our next trip. Because that’s what life is about – planning the next trip and reminiscing about the last one. Or figuring out what went wrong. That one seems to happen a lot.

I’ll never forget what my dad told me right before I left for the Navy. He said, “The two best duty stations in the world are the one you just left and the one you’re going to.” Okay, he told me a few other things as well, but we won’t go there. Suffice to say most of Dad’s lessons were pretty much on the mark. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

No matter what plans you’ve made, life will have a say in their execution. And even when things go just the way you’d planned, you find that it’s not always what you thought it would be. But as long as we continue to dream, nothing is ever permanent. The outcome can be whatever we want it to be. And even that can change.

Life isn’t measured in years – it’s measured in the experiences we have and the memories we make. Nothing ever goes completely according to plan, but there’s beauty to be found in those diversions. Just keep your eye on the goal and never give up. And when you get there, just think of all the extra stories you can tell.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Don’t Let the Craziness Define the Season

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

So, a couple of days ago, a female co-worker texted me and asked if I’m done with all my Christmas shopping. I responded, “So cute – she thinks I’ve already started.” I’ve been accused of being a little less manly on most things in life, but when it comes to shopping, my Y chromosomes shine through. I do as little as possible, and usually in the last hours of Christmas Eve – with all the other men.

I don’t know that it’s a “man” thing as much as just putting it off. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like traffic. I don’t like rude people, and I don’t like long lines at the store checkout. So, I put it off until the last possible minute. Then I complain because the stores have sold out of all the good stuff. Maybe if I started in July, I could avoid this mess. But then I’d hide stuff and forget where it is until April.

As a comedian, I often lamented the fact that, when you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas, the reply is always, “I don’t really want anything.” Yeah. I only fell for that once. What that really means is, “I’m not about to let you off the hook that easy.” We’re supposed to pay attention and pick up on all the little hints she drops all through the year. Well, we’re also supposed to obey the speed limit.

Next month we’ll celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary, and I don’t know my wife any better today than I did way back then. I guess the difference is that she’s not afraid to shop. When she needs something, she gets it. And after one year where I tried buying her clothes, we came to a mutual agreement not to ever do that again. Some mistakes you only make once.

So, I’m left with trying to surprise her with something she doesn’t even know she wants. And that’s not easy to do, especially in an age of online shopping where the complete inventory of every store in the world is available at the click of a button. More than once, I’ve found that perfect unique gift, only to hear her say, “I saw this online!” Of course you did.

And then there’s the issue of using a debit card from our joint account for shopping. “What did you buy at Godiva Chocolates?” A circular saw and some wool socks. So much for that surprise. I finally got smart and started using a credit card of my own. Because, even if I take cash, that’s right there on the bank statement three seconds after I complete the transaction.

Yes, women and men are different, and that’s never more evident than this crazy season of holiday shopping. My wife always insisted that we had to have special wrapping paper for the gifts from Santa so the girls wouldn’t notice it was the same wrapping paper we used for one another. A boy wouldn’t notice. It’s paper. It’s red and green. Oh, and there are snowmen on it. Beautiful. Now dig in!

The difference is my wife always wanted to create the perfect Christmas for our daughters and now our grandchildren. I always figured my job was to fund it. Otherwise, stay out of the way. We used to shop together, but she found that shopping while the kids are in school was a lot easier. Now it’s mostly done online. We get deliveries from UPS, FedEx, and Amazon almost daily.

A couple of days ago, my wife was having some issues with high blood pressure and what felt like a racing heart. I told her she’s not allowed to die until after Christmas, because there are too many gifts to wrap and I don’t know who gets what. I’ve often said I’m as surprised as the kids are on Christmas morning. With a couple of exceptions, I have no real idea what any of them are getting.

Yet, somehow, we bring it all together and the day is pretty special every year. Because, it’s really not about the gifts and the lights and the retail frenzy. It’s about family. It’s about warm feet and warm hearts. It’s about spending the day with one another celebrating something bigger than we can truly comprehend. It’s about kindness, generosity, and those smiling little faces. It’s about hope.

So, as you go through the motions of putting the finishing touches on your holiday celebration, take a moment to remember what it’s really about. Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or simply Wednesday, find the special meaning that day holds for you and enjoy it for what you want it to be. Because, long after the gifts are forgotten, the memories of what really matters will linger on.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Memories Are Built In An Instant, But They Last Forever

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

For those of us in the United States, we’re entering the heaviest travel week of the year. Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is the one that brings the most people home. As the song says, over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go. I remember those days, and I miss them.

Waking up at Grandma’s always came with smells I’ll never forget. Breakfast on the stove, a pot of coffee waiting to be poured, and logs crackling in the fireplace. Okay, and there was that one year when one of the bedrooms was being used as an incubator for about fifty baby chickens. That one came with a smell I’m happy to forget. But they were fun to play with.

Depending on the calendar, Thanksgiving always comes pretty close to my birthday (sometimes they’re on the same day), so that made the trip to Grandma’s even more special. Most of the day, we’d be outside running around the farm, walking through the woods, or shooting my BB gun. That was the only time of year I was allowed to touch it.

And you never knew how many aunts, uncles, and cousins would pile into that little three-bedroom house. There were times we had more than 20 people there. Sometimes, a few of us would sleep in the cars. That was back when station wagons were still a thing. And with one bathroom in that house, there was never any grass growing behind the barn. For the boys, that was a mandate.

When I think of the best times in my life, those days always come to mind. It was a simple life, with simple pleasures. As the adults would sit around the table playing dominoes, we’d find a quiet corner to tell spooky stories and try to get one good channel on TV. I guess it wasn’t all fun and games, but the other times have just slipped from my memory and the good parts are all that’s left.

I think about those days often, usually when I come into the house on a weekend and the smell of bacon is lingering in the air. Of all the sensory reminders of our youth, smells probably top the list of things that can instantly take us back to an earlier day. I also like driving through small towns where all the light poles are decorated with wreaths and huge candy canes. It just makes me feel good.

It’s natural to gravitate toward those things that remind us of a simpler time in life. And, to be fair, I know some folks don’t have a lot of those memories. So, they have to create new memories today that they can reflect on years from now. It’s never too late. But it does take effort.

Like most things in life, we can’t create a lot of memories just sitting around in front of the TV while the kids play video games on a tablet. No conversation, no interaction – just sitting around exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide, completely oblivious to the existence of others.

Yet, whenever we turn on the news to hear another story about the worst in human behavior, the first things we blame are upbringing and a lack of values. And the whole time, our kids are sitting across the room with their face buried in an electronic device of some kind that’s giving them the only real source of companionship they’ll have all day. Do we see a problem here?

And those values come through the very things that formed our most cherished childhood memories. We owe it to our kids and all those around us to help them build memories of their own – times they’ll look back on with a gentle smile and a warm heart. Those memories are will help shape their innermost values, good or bad. So, it’s worth whatever it takes to make those memories positive.

Memories can come at any time of year – we don’t have to wait for holidays. A few minutes singing silly songs or reading a book together; a family picnic, or just a walk in the park; games at the table after dinner – you know, a meal where everybody sat down together. All of these things build memories, and those memories will stay with us a long time. And those memories build values.

But, the thing about memories is that the best ones will always include other people. We can’t build fond memories in a vacuum. So, spend a little time building memories with those around you – your family, your neighbors, even perfect strangers. Your memories will become their memories, so it’s two for the price of one. Make those memories positive, and everybody wins.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Memories – The Gift That Keeps On Giving

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope you all had a fantastic weekend.

The weather finally broke here in southern Ohio, and lots of people were out enjoying it. I have to say, it felt nice to go outside in short sleeves without feeling cold. We took my granddaughter to the zoo and, other than the punishment I got from my lower back for all the walking and standing around, it was an awesome day.

This is also the time of year when people start thinking about their summer vacations. Some already have their destination picked out. In fact, a young woman I work with has resolved to take a trip somewhere every month this year, and she can tell you for the next several months exactly where she’ll be. That has to feel pretty good.

We’ve got a couple of trips planned this year and we know where we’ll be going. We just don’t know exactly when. Between work and my surgery last year, we’ve spent the past few months catching up. And, I’ll be honest – I don’t know that we’re really making any headway, because the things we need to do are multiplying faster than we can get them done. Know the feeling?

But there’s a point where you have to just drive a stake in the ground and schedule some “me” time. If you wait for things to settle down, you’ll be waiting a long time. We all need a little down time, but life doesn’t seem to care much about that. If it sees an opening, a time when you don’t have much going on, it’ll fill that gap faster than you can say “Whew!”

I’ve read several articles about work and the toll it takes on us, both mentally and physically. And I’ve read others about our obsession with stuff … amassing as many possessions as possible, as early in life as possible, to the point that all we do is work for our possessions. A bigger house, a fancier car, the best entertainment system, all things we can certainly enjoy, but at what expense?

There comes a point where every day we get out of bed and go to work just so we can either make the monthly payment on what we’ve already bought or set aside money for the next purchase. But when you ask people where they’re going on vacation, the answer is often, “We’re staying home. We’ve got a lot of yard work to catch up on and I just need some time to relax and do nothing.”

The key point in every one of those articles I read was that all the hours we worked and all the stuff we amassed are only a means of keeping score in a game that nobody ever wins. And every one of those possessions will eventually wear out and need to be replaced. But memories last a lifetime and beyond. And memories usually aren’t built on the job or sitting in front of a big-screen TV.

The fact is, every day we move closer to a goal that we didn’t set and our date with destiny is something over which we have very little control. Every day between now and then is a chance to make the most of life, to experience things we’ve only dreamed of, and to build memories that will see us through those frail years after we’re no longer able to get out and see the world.

Make time to do the things you want to do. Make a list and start checking things off instead of crossing them off. There is nothing you can take with you when this life is over, and the possessions you’ve amassed will mostly be sold at auction because they just don’t hold a lot of sentimental value. But the memories can’t be sold, and the sentimental value they hold can’t be measured.

We all have things we need to do, and work is one of them. You can’t really escape that. But a healthy work/life balance needs to be part of it. And any time you start thinking you just can’t take time off because there’s too much to do, consider how quickly the company will replace you if you were to become incapacitated. And think of all the things you’d have missed along the way.

There’s an old saying – work hard and play hard. For too many of us, that second part gets lost in the first. Be good at your job. Be dedicated and reliable. But never forget the responsibility you have to yourself and your family. Life is about more than just a paycheck. Make time for yourself and build those memories. It’s the one possession that truly lasts forever.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

The Clock is Running … What’s Your Score?

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! We made it through another week. I hope yours has been awesome.

This morning I have a biometric screening at work – blood test, body measurements, all those things that normally don’t start the day off well for somebody with my physique. I’ll get the results in a few days and they’ll tell me the things I’ve done well and all the things I could’ve done better. That second list will be the longer of the two. No surprises there.

It’s important to get a measure of your standing from time to time, because that’s a measure of success. If you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you need to go. I know about things like blood pressure, weight, and body fat. I measure them regularly. But the stuff on the inside is a little more of a mystery. This is where I find out how all the outward stuff is affecting the rest.

And when I get my results, I’ll know exactly where I stand right now, and what needs to be fixed. I already know how to fix those things. But sometimes, we need to know the current score in order to prioritize what needs to be done next.

It’s the same with anything you’re trying to accomplish. Project managers draft detailed project plans to set milestones and track progress through the life of a project. Banks send those statements every month that shows our progress toward saving more than we spend. And the GPS shows our progress toward a desired destination. And mine seems to say “recalculating” a lot. Just me?

It’s important to stop occasionally and take stock of where you are, what you’ve accomplished to date, and then reassess your next step. Whether you’re cooking dinner or playing chess, progress is an important measure of what you need to do to keep moving toward your goal. And it lets you know when it’s time to take an unscheduled turn or pit stop to get things back on track.

As we talk about our dreams and goals, it’s easy to just throw them out there with a simple one-word timeline – “Someday.” It’s a goal, and we plan to do it at some point in life. But with such a vague definition of when this is all supposed to happen, it’s pretty hard to track our progress along the way.

Let’s say your goal is a European vacation for the whole family. Twelve countries in five days. I’ve never understood the fascination with breezing across borders without slowing down to enjoy the scenery, much less sample the local cuisine. But some people seem to enjoy that.

You probably have an idea of how much that will cost. In today’s dollars, that is. You save a little every month for several years, and watch it grow. Every year, you see yourself getting a little closer. Emergencies come along and set you back. The car needs repairs. Your kid needs braces. Then there’s college, a new roof on the house, and all the other things that come along.

And by the time you have everything in place and you’re ready to pack up and go, inflation has more than doubled the price. Now you’re back to square one. Maybe not all the way, but how many more years will it take to make this happen? And how many other things will come along to mess up your plans even more?

Cemeteries are the resting place of unfulfilled dreams. All those things a person never had a chance to do are buried right along with them. And after the funeral, the family decides to pool their resources and take that vacation mom always dreamed of … you know, in her honor. And the whole time they’re saying, “Mom would have loved this!” Yeah, probably so.

The time for living our dreams is now – while we’re still alive and have the chance to do something about it. But we have to put measures in place, so we know where we are and what still remains to be done. And we have to check along the way to see if the goal has moved. Destinations don’t move around much, but what it takes to get there may change dramatically along the way.

Life is full of surprises, some good and some not so good. By knowing where we’re going and how far we’ve come, those surprises turn into detours rather than roadblocks. Instead of getting to the end of life and lamenting the things we never got to do, we can bask in the memory of the things we’ve done. And memories live on, long after our dreams have been laid to rest.

Dream, set goals, and make plans. But most importantly of all, make sure you’re getting closer as you go. You only have the rest of your life. Make it count.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2019 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved