Good morning! I hope your day is starting off nicely. You know, we do have more control over that than we’d like to admit.
My daughter sent a video this morning of a father dropping his kids off at school, telling them, “It takes no effort to be kind, so don’t be a (jerk).” Yeah, that last word wasn’t fit for print. But you get the idea. The next second, he’s driving home, blowing the steering horn, yelling at other drivers, and just generally being a (jerk).
I don’t think she sent it as a message to me personally, but it still hit me between the eyes. Yes, I am generally kind. I encourage others to be kind. And I try to avoid situations that may bring out the (jerk) in me. Because let’s face it. Under the right circumstances, we all have that little demon inside, just begging to get loose.
My pastor used to read my humor columns back in the day, and he especially liked the ones where I expressed my displeasure with (jerks) on the road. I found my way into his sermons more than once, usually in a joking way, but it’s really not that funny. Trust me, I live it.
Back then, my oldest grandson wasn’t quite four, and was with me one day when the guy in front of me insisted on driving a full 2 MPH below the speed limit. Okay, it was more than that, but it’s my story. I finally said, “Would you please move?” and my grandson piped in with the “perfect” solution … “Flip ‘em off!” I wish I was making that up.
In fairness, he didn’t learn that from me. I always checked to see if he was watching first. But it was still a lesson I needed to learn. Some days, I still do. I’ve decided patience isn’t so much a virtue as a work in progress. It’s a mindset we have to adopt, embrace, and build upon every day. And about the time we start feeling smug, some idiot slams on their brakes for no reason.
I guess the first step in building patience is understanding that most inconsiderate acts are not directed at us, personally. Oh, there’s always that person who tries to mess up your day for fun, but you never know what misfortune life just dealt them. On the other hand, if they do it over and over, aim for the kneecaps. With your foot. What did you think I meant?
Believe it or not, most people don’t spend their day looking in the rearview for somebody to impede. They park their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle because something caught their eye. They walk down the middle of the parking lot because they can’t see their car. And they sit at a green light for two seconds because they’re in deep thought.
Believe me, there are enough (jerks) out there who were never taught the premise of consideration. But it’s not quite fair to blame momentary lapses in manners on intentional (jerkiness). We all make mistakes, and when we do, we’d appreciate an assumption of innocence. The question is, what do we do when the shoe is on the other foot?
The answer is simple – breathe. When traffic backs up, there’s always a reason. And the reason is usually that somebody is having a much worse day than you are. When a person isn’t moving out of your way, they may be experiencing a medical issue. And usually, when somebody is genuinely nasty, it’s typically a programmed reaction to something they experienced.
And therein lies the solution – we can’t control how other people act. All we can control is our reaction to it. We can fire back with an equally offensive remark (or gesture), or we can offer a positive response that may give them pause to think. We can try to score points or realize that the true winner is the one who walks away with a sense of inner calm.
Most of us try to be kind in person. It’s when we’re on the phone with customer service, offering an online rebuttal to comments from others, in the relative safety of our locked car, or relating a scenario to somebody else who wasn’t even there, that we find our true level of kindness. Myself? I need to work on it a bit. And I hope I never stop.
That’s all for now. The next time you find yourself on the receiving end of something you can’t control, take a breath and then control the only thing you can. You’ll live longer, and those years will be a lot more pleasant as a result. Have a fantastic day!
© 2026 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved
Dave Glardon 