Tag: Humor

Stop Waiting For the Right Moment

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start!

I was thinking the other day of a tee shirt slogan from back in the 70s … “When this crisis is over, I’m gonna have a nervous breakdown!” Social media is loaded with memes about what we’ll all do when this ends. One was particularly funny. It said, “We’ll all come out of this one of three ways – hunk, chunk, or drunk.” That pretty well sums it up.

I don’t drink much these days, but I do have a workout bench literally two feet behind me all day. So, I guess it goes without saying that I won’t come out hunk or drunk. That weight bench is loaded with papers, old mail, and printer supplies. You know, like the treadmill that used to be there. Around here, a treadmill is just a really expensive clothes hanger.

Oh, I had good intentions. I always do. But if you take your intentions into Starbucks with $3.95, they’ll give you a free cup of coffee. I took mine to the dinner table instead. And now I’m paying for it. But I don’t want to talk about weight again. Seems we just did that a couple of days ago.

I always had a set of criteria that would magically drive me into action. “That’s it! If my weight goes up another five pounds, I’m going on a diet!” “If it ever warms up, I’m cleaning the garage!” “If it ever cools off, I’m cleaning the garage!” “If that grass gets a foot taller …” Well, you get the idea. We always seem to let fate decide whether we do the things we need to do.

My post from last year popped up on my feed yesterday, and it was on this very topic. When there’s something we need to do that’ll bring us closer to our goals, we always seem to wait for the perfect moment to get started. It doesn’t really matter if those goals are grand or mundane, getting started is left to some twist of fate over which we have little or no control.

And that twist of fate doesn’t always have to be something good. It’s like sitting on the porch as the river is overflowing into your yard. You’ve got sandbags and a shovel, but you’re waiting for things to get bad enough before you put them to use. “If that water gets a foot higher, we’re shoring up!” No, if that water gets a foot higher, you’re swimming.

A friend confided to me once that he needed more money. The roof was leaking, the car needed repairs, and the bills were falling behind. I suggested he start a side business to supplement his income and he said, “Yeah, I guess if things get bad enough, I may have to consider that.” Excuse me? How bad do they have to get? Would foreclosure do the trick?

It’s easy to make plans when we really don’t intend to do anything about them. And it’s even easier when you put those plans at the mercy of something you can’t control. And then the water rises another foot. “Well, it’s kinda late for sandbags now.”

And the problem is, we do this whether it’s something we really need to do, or just something we’d like to do. “Oh, that’s just a dream. I’ve lived without it this long.” Well, how important was the dream? Was it something you just thought about once or twice? Because that’s not really a dream. It’s a brain fart.

Not taking action on our dreams is no different than not taking action on our needs. The consequences are a little different, but in the end we’re left to wonder what might have been. And friends, that’s one of the worst feelings in the world – knowing you could have at least tried to change the situation, but never did. And for what? Because things never got bad enough?

I’ve heard people say if they lose their job, they’ll change careers. I’ve heard them say if the car breaks down one more time, they’ll fix it. I’ve even heard sick people say if they get any sicker, they’ll do something about their health. Seriously? How bad do things need to get in order for us to do what we should have done in the first place? “Well, it’s kinda late for vitamins now.”

We all know the things we need to be doing. But if we wait for the perfect set of circumstances, we’ll never do it. Instead of waiting for things to get better or worse, forget the circumstances and just do it. Life on the other end may be completely different than anything you’d imagined. You may never get back to where you were. And isn’t that pretty much the idea?

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

What’s Your Enjoyment Factor?

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

One of these days, just to see who’s paying attention, I’m going to start my post with something a little less upbeat. Not really. I like wishing you all a good day. Besides, that would be just one more thing I’d have to dream up before I finish my first cup of coffee. I’m not that good.

One day, about a year ago, my grandson called and said, “Hi ‘good morning’ man!” I was touched. Not that he read my posts, but that he actually reads. Oh, he went through a phase with the Wimpy Kid series, but aside from that, getting him to read was like getting him to clean his room. I tried reading Huckleberry Finn with him. He just never got into it.

He was always more into sports. And he was always better at that than I was. Especially basketball. I didn’t mind the shooting hoops part of it, but you had to do a lot of running first. And then again. And again, and again, and again. That was just never my thing. I guess that’s why I liked baseball. The only time you had to run is if you actually hit the ball. I didn’t.

To me, there was always a fascination with drifting down the river on a wooden raft. I had two uncles and a cousin who were tugboat captains. They spent their days gazing across a couple-dozen barges as they inched up the Mississippi River. And all they had to do was bump the rudder, blow the horn, and crank up the throttles. That’s my kind of job.

I was always more into adventure. I spent seven years in the Boy Scouts and loved every minute of it. Waking up in the morning to the smell of bacon, paddling a canoe down the creek to the sounds of nature, going to sleep with a pair of red eyes ten feet offshore … okay, some parts were a little more adventure-filled than others. But those were the best days of my life.

I guess that’s why I miss my time in the Navy. Not all of it. For the first four years, my job was Aviation Buffer’s Mate. I spent my days cleaning toilets and swabbing decks. But after I put on a couple of stripes, that part faded. And I have to be honest – I loved being at sea. I didn’t like the family separation and the food pretty well sucked. But I loved being underway.

My brother was a submariner. We had names for those guys, but I can’t really share them here. That’s okay, they had names for us as well. I remember a bubblehead telling me once that the Navy only had two kinds of ships – submarines, and targets. I guess he had a point. But I just couldn’t go underwater in a tin can with a bunch of other men and stay there for three months.

We all have our passions. And there are things we all do a little better than others. Hopefully, we spend our days doing something that fits into both of those categories. I love my job. There are times when I’d rather not face it, but overall, I love what I do.

A job should be more than just a paycheck. Granted, it would be hard to feel a burst of creative energy as you raise a dumpster over your head and empty it into the compactor behind you, but there should at least be some form of enjoyment in what we do. After all, you’ll be doing it a long time. And if you’re lucky, you get to quit when you’re too old to enjoy much of anything.

Work is a necessary part of life. Hopefully you enjoy what you do, but for far too many people that’s not the way it is. Still, unless your uniform has an inmate number, you probably have at least a few options. Those options may involve going back to school, learning new skills, or even moving to a new location. Only you can decide if the changes are worth the cost.

Beyond that, we can all try a little harder to balance our time with something we really do enjoy. Gardening doesn’t pay much for most people, but it sure does a lot to ease stress. I write. I don’t get paid to do it, but it’s something I enjoy. What’s your passion?

Work/life balance is all about averaging the enjoyable with the not-so-enjoyable. Find something you can enjoy, even if it’s just for an hour a day. That hour can make all the difference in the world for your sanity. Then carve out one more hour – an hour for you and your dreams. Work toward something you really want. You might just amaze yourself.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Persistence – The Art of Winning By Wearing Down the Gods

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Have you ever tried a dozen different ways to accomplish something and then finally realized the gods are just working against you? Take weight loss, for instance. That seems to be the topic of the day. Everybody is complaining about eating too much and not being able to get out and work it off. Not that I was working anything off before, but at least now I have an excuse. Right?

I think I’ve tried just about everything short of surgery and diet pills. And believe me, in 24 years of fighting this beast, that covers a lot of ground. It seems every year, there’s some new miracle diet or food item that just magically melts away the pounds. I guess it goes without saying that most of the studies behind those claims are paid for by the people trying to sell those foods.

With few exceptions, I’ve tried it all. First there was the one that said eat cereal three times a day. Okay, I never really tried that one. Once the little marshmallows are gone, the rest is just soggy oats. I did try the Atkins diet, and lost a few pounds. But I knew I was in over my head the day I looked at a piece of communion bread and thought, “How many carbs are in that?”

Then there was the one that said don’t just eat three meals – eat all day. Okay, maybe that’s not exactly what it said, but that was the message I got from it. I gained ten pounds and my A1C went up six points. Then there was the three-day cleanse. I lost a few pounds but three days later the weight was back and we were out of toilet paper. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take right now.

I even tried some supplements. I mean, come on … all it takes is concentrated grapefruit to melt away the pounds? I can do that! After all, it’s just like eating M&Ms. I’m pretty sure that’s what got me this way to begin with. Then I read the fine print on those bottles. You know, the part that comes after the asterisk. “When combined with proper diet and exercise.”

Are you kidding me? Even I’m not stupid enough to fall for that. ANYTHING can make you lose weight with proper diet and exercise, including diesel fuel. In fact, that one may help you take it off even faster. I’m not sure the doctor would approve, but so far his advice hasn’t done much for the cause.

“It’s simple Dave … just lose one pound a week.” Right. It’s simple Doc. Just grow one new brain cell a week. Then go stand on a scale, because that plan sure as hell isn’t working for you. And why is it that the doctor’s scale is always calibrated eight pounds heavier than mine? Care to guess why my blood pressure was so high? Try checking it first, and THEN put me on the scale.

Okay, I’m having a little bit of fun with this, but the truth is, there’s nothing really fun about being overweight. I had to get down on the ground to open a water valve on the RV and I almost didn’t get back up. I’m pretty sure the neighbors thought I was drunk, because I fell three times. And the only thing that can make me run is an ice cream truck. Then I’m faster than the kids.

We all have something about ourselves that we’d like to change. It’s not enough to know we should change, or even that we have to. We have to want to, more than we want whatever it is that’s holding us back. I have a full assortment of meal replacements that would help me lose weight. They taste good and don’t leave me hungry. The problem is, I like cheeseburgers. A lot.

It all comes down to one simple fact. Nothing changes until we change. Whether it’s weight, physical fitness, learning a new skill, improving our financial status, or just about anything else, we have to take the first step. That’s the easy part. What’s hard is doing it again and again and again until we finally reach our goal, no matter how long it takes.

Nobody likes to swing and miss. It’s even harder when you do it over and over and over. But unlike baseball, you can keep swinging until you get on base. Sure, a home run would be nice, but a single still puts you in position to score. And once you cross home plate, it doesn’t matter how long it took to get there. The scoreboard still reads the same.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

It’s Not Really Winning If Nobody Else Gets To Play

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

I’m in my favorite position this morning. Sitting on the sofa with a fresh cup of coffee and grandkids by my side. In the time I’ve been home, my granddaughter has become a little Grandpa’s girl. Her brother always was. You know. Not a girl, but … never mind. Either way, I’ll take the extra attention. Experience has shown it doesn’t last forever.

Saturday, we brought the RV home for some routine maintenance. In other words, my wife bought some more stuff to go inside and we had to put it away. I worked up a pretty good sweat in the process. Making the bed is an Olympic event. It’s like synchronized swimming except there’s nothing synchronized about it, other than the part where we both said, “close enough.”

I also put some water in the tank to check for leaks, since the pipes were all exposed to freezing overnight temperatures last week. The good news is the pipes are fine. The better news is I now know how fast those tanks fill. The mechanic warned me about the dangers of overfilling the “black” tank for cleaning. There’s this vent pipe on the roof and … well, use your imagination.

As we finished everything up, we both agreed it’s time to go camping. Like over the river and through the woods. Okay, over the mountains and right through the middle of the world’s most intense driving experience – Atlanta. It’s not the only way to get to Florida, but once you’ve mastered that one, everything else is child’s play. Besides, that’s why God made insurance.

One of the benefits of something that big is I don’t mind when my wife tells me how to drive. Those mirrors are pretty good, but she’s better. If there’s anything back there, she lets me know. If she launches into Lamaze breathing, that means I’m about to do something really stupid. It’s a form of communication we’ve perfected over the years. Besides, I’m too far away to punch.

Another thing I’ve learned is that other drivers aren’t so much of a pain when you’re in a vehicle like that. It’s not that they’re any less aggressive. It’s just that I don’t care. I’m sure Jim-Bob is riding my bumper in a pickup truck that matches the size of his ego, but my rear-view camera only works when the transmission is in reverse. Bet that’d get his attention.

Okay, that’s a false sense of security. I used to drive a semi, and any visions of being bigger and badder than everything else on the road fade into the twilight the moment you hit the D.C. Beltway. Have you ever seen a chihuahua take on a St. Bernard? That’s the way it was with every Prius on the road. And, like a St. Bernard facing down a chihuahua, I backed off.

I guess it comes down to a sense of entitlement. We all feel entitled to our spot on the road and, for that matter, in life. And, for some people, that entitlement gets a boost by intimidating others who only want their own piece of the pie. But that only works if you have something to intimidate them with. You don’t see a lot of Yugos brake-checking a monster truck.

We went to the grocery store yesterday, and that sense of entitlement is beginning to creep back in there as well. A week ago, people were taking the six-foot separation thing to heart. Even those who weren’t necessarily afraid of germs gave leeway to those who were. Now, it’s back to normal. Carts in the middle of the aisle, and people reaching over you for a can of soup.

After the 9/11 attacks, a sense of unity swept over the entire nation and people showed genuine concern for one another. But apparently, all it takes is a few protests at the State House to make the rest of us forget what we’re up against and why it’s important that we look out for one another. And this, I fear, is why we won’t return to “normal” any time soon.

But the bigger question is, do we really want to? If “normal” means pushing our way through a crowd and demanding that others yield to our self-ordained sense of entitlement, maybe that’s not such a worthy goal after all. Especially if it means sacrificing the progress we’ve made for the sake of our own desires.

A little humility goes a long way in restoring a sense of community. In yielding to others, we empower ourselves. There is no control like self-control. Sure, some may take advantage of your consideration. That’s their problem, not yours. Kindness is only as common as we want it to be. We just have to want it more than we want what we had.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Imagination – The Solution To Every Challenge

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

This week seems like it’s been something other than a week. I can’t say if it felt longer, shorter, muddier, or colder, but it was definitely different. Okay, it was colder. I’m sure of that. Here we are in mid-April, with freezing temperatures overnight most of the week. And the RV is sitting there with water in the pipes. Because, you know, April. Who would’ve known?

And believe me, yesterday was one of those days when I really wanted to send the kids outside to burn off some of that excess energy. With the little ones, it usually happens around 5:00, right before their dad comes to pick them up. It’s payback for all the hours they were good, not to mention an afternoon nap. I’d ban naps, but I’ve seen how that story ends. No thanks.

It’s hard, because they don’t have much to play with here. Their bicycles are at home, and we don’t have a swing set. Okay, with these kids, it’s more like a jungle gym. Deep jungle. We can’t just turn them loose out front because they’d end up in the street, and the back yard is more of an obstacle course, courtesy of the dog. But at least they’d have something to play with.

Kids can amuse themselves with the simplest things. And just in case anybody thinks that trait vanishes in the teenage years, I beg to differ. I was in the Boy Scouts, and when you put a group of adolescent boys on an open prairie that doubles as a cattle ranch, dodgeball takes on a whole new meaning. Let’s just say there’s plenty of ammo to keep everybody amused.

But you know, there’s nothing wrong with kids finding new and improved ways to have fun with things we’d normally step over. It’s a sign of imagination, though sometimes a bit twisted. Still, it’s hard to shut them down when they’re so overly amused. Okay, you make them scrub their hands and toss their clothes directly in the washer. But otherwise, what’s the real harm?

Well, I guess that depends on who’s throwing and who’s catching. I was always on the receiving end. Whether it was a bucket of water, a mud bomb, or the dreaded cow pie, I spent a good part of my youth on the run. I guess that’s why I don’t run today. Unless somebody is chasing me with a snake, that is. No, that’s not a hypothetical statement. Been there.

But you know, it’s the same imagination that can look at cattle dung and see a Frisbee that found penicillin in moldy bread or looked at an egg and saw food. Think about it. At some point in time, a farmer left a bucket of milk in the barn overnight and came back to a glob of churning bacteria. “Hmmm. Strain that through a sock and I bet it’d taste GREAT on a hamburger!”

I’m no biblical expert, but I’m pretty sure the Garden of Eden didn’t come with a full kitchen, indoor plumbing, and an entire set of Craftsman tools. All of the modern conveniences we enjoy came as the result of human ingenuity. And ingenuity is the spawn of imagination. It began the first time a caveman dropped a heavy rock and watched it roll. I never said it was all intentional.

In fact, a lot of things happen by accident. Styrofoam was the result of an industrial accident. According to an old TV commercial, two people were walking down the street eating peanut butter and chocolate and bumped into one another. And way back in 1847, somebody mixed the right combination of glycerol and nitric acid and said, “Here, shake this up.”

Any one of those things could have resulted in nothing more than filling up the trash can with something we have dozens of uses for today. Okay, that last one would have blown up the trash can, but you get the idea. Imagination is to see something not as it is, but as it could be. It’s the ability to find new uses for useless items and turn disaster into opportunity.

Watch a young child, barely able to sit on their own, and you’ll see the wheels turning. Watch a young child, barely able to sit on their own, and you’ll see the wheels turning. Anything they can find becomes an implement to achieve a goal. That goal may simply be to reach a ball that’s just beyond their reach. It doesn’t have to be anything grand. But those little minds can find a solution to just about any challenge. Which is why nothing is ever completely out of their reach..

We don’t lose that imagination with age. We shut it down. We allow what we’ve learned to become our reality instead of forgetting enough of what we’ve learned to alter that reality. Every obstacle presents new solutions. Every tool has a new use. And every challenge presents opportunity. If what’s in front of you isn’t working, sometimes all you have to do is look beyond.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

The Road Will Curve Again – But Will You Be The One Driving?

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is starting off nicely.

For those who missed my follow-up post yesterday, our daughter was diagnosed with a pretty strong case of pneumonia, but no coronavirus. Yes, we live in a time when that’s something to celebrate. “Woohoo! It’s only pneumonia!” They loaded her up with IV antibiotics and then sent her home. Right now, a hospital is not the place to be if you’re sick.

As I’ve mentioned a few times lately, I think we’re just beginning to see the new normal. I read an article yesterday that said oil prices will be down for a long time to come, and I guess we can all feel pretty good about that. Unless you own an oil well, in which case I really don’t feel sorry for you. Of course, they’ll still find a way to drive up gas prices. “Coronavirus blend.” It’s coming.

That said, I was pretty excited when I topped off the tank in the RV for $13. Okay, I used my Kroger fuel points and got a 70-cent discount, but still. I had to risk my life to build up those points. So far, I haven’t given in to online grocery shopping. I still go into the store with a bottle of hand sanitizer in my holster, dodging sneezes the whole way through. I earned that discount.

But now, we don’t have much choice. Our daughter is back home with us, and in no condition to fight off germs. So, we have to dig in a little deeper and find ways to keep the pantry stocked without putting the whole family at risk. I have to assume those rabbits and squirrels dancing in the yard haven’t been watching the news. That’s some pretty low-risk shopping if you ask me.

Okay, I’m kidding. I’ve only shot a squirrel once, and I filled it so full of buckshot it weighed in at six pounds. Needless to say, we had chicken for dinner. I’m just not much of a hunter. I’m too much of a softie. I’ve always said I could shoot a deer if the family were hungry, but only if it didn’t look at me. That one seems to be in the playbook, because they ALWAYS look at you.

Part of me wonders if anybody will eat a wild animal after this. Apparently, that’s where it all started. On the other hand, farm-raised animals aren’t all that safe, either. Every time you turn around, something else is being recalled. Guess we should all become vegetarians. You know, so we can learn the joys of listeria, salmonella, and e-Coli. Guess that’s one way to lose weight.

Hopefully, part of the new “normal” will be more stringent food safety standards. Working from home has been nice, and I could get used to these gas prices. That said, having kids cooped up in the house when there’s a playground within walking distance is for the birds. We need to fix that one. I’ll volunteer to keep the monkey bars clean if I can find some disinfectant.

Another change I hope we’ll see is more people taking control of their health, wealth, and happiness. We seem to go through life looking for the easy path to all three. Find a good job. Get a good doctor. Enjoy the good life. And that’s great, until it’s not. Something can always come along and change what we’ve come to know.

Right now, health and income are the two big ones. If we’ve neglected our health to this point, there’s not a lot we can do to change it overnight. But we can try to optimize our health going forward. Illness doesn’t ask if we’re ready – it just hits. And the healthier we are at the outset, the better our odds of survival. The time to do something about that is now.

The same is true of income. We all know the risks of putting our eggs in one basket, yet that’s what most of us do our entire life. And we know better. Companies fail. Industries die. Recession, pandemics, and even weather can impact our ability to put food on the table. Having a secondary income isn’t just prudent. It’s essential.

This crisis has affected us all in different ways. And right now, when there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s easy to wipe our brow and say, “That was a close one!” Well, guess what? It’ll happen again. Hopefully nothing of this magnitude, but we’ve all faced crisis before, and this won’t be the last one. The question is, will we be any better prepared next time?

Preparation isn’t about watching and waiting. It’s about taking proactive steps to be ready for whatever comes along. Are there things you wish you’d done before this crisis? Then get started now. This won’t be our last crisis. But hopefully, we’ll all be a little better prepared for the next one.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

The Snake Isn’t Always Hiding Under Somebody Else’s Porch

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

I’ve been trying to mix in some humor with these messages because we absorb and learn faster when we’re being entertained. If a few laughs are sprinkled in, the message sticks that much longer. Think about it. How many jokes can you remember from your childhood? Odds are, you can remember most of them verbatim. Now, how many 8th-grade Civics lessons can you recite?

We learn and retain better when we’re able to laugh. Besides, it’s just plain fun. Sometimes I even make myself laugh. Of course, that’s not hard to do. You know, simple pleasures for simple minds. I can say it. If being smart means cashing in your sense of humor, color me stupid. I’ll wear it like a badge of honor.

But some days, there’s just not a lot to laugh about. Oh, it’s out there. But it’s hiding and there are days when we’re not in a mood to do a lot of digging. On days like this, humor has to come looking for us. It will, and when it does, I’ll give it the good hearty laugh it deserves. Then I’ll go back to focusing on the matter at hand.

Last week I said that, before this current crisis is over, it’ll touch each and every one of us in some way. Well, yesterday afternoon, my youngest daughter was admitted to the hospital with what the doctor calls “significant pneumonia.” I didn’t know there was an insignificant kind, but it got my attention. Now she’s in isolation and can’t have any visitors. Not even mom and dad.

They tested her for coronavirus, but the results won’t be back until sometime today. I don’t think that’s what she’s got, and her respiratory doctor seems to share that gut instinct. But, as he said, there are no certainties in medicine. We’ll just have to wait and pray. Yes, we live in a time where people really utter the words, “Thank God – it’s only pneumonia.”

We’ll deal with whatever diagnosis comes back, and I’m just thankful she’s where she needs to be right now. Given the fact that she’s been living with us for the past two years, and our other daughter and grandkids are here all the time, it’s pretty obvious what a diagnosis of COVID-19 would mean. Full lockdown for everybody for at least the next two weeks.

It’s not like we were going out that much anyway. Like most other people, we go to the store only when we need something, and those daily “I forgot something” trips to Walmart are a thing of the past. We stay six feet from other people (as long as they stay six feet from us), and face masks & pocket-sized hand sanitizer are now a normal part of life.

Our daughter goes out even less than we do, but like pregnancy and a lot of other conditions, it only takes once. The admitting doctor told my daughter it’s possible she’s got “a touch” of coronavirus. Is there such a thing? I guess for some people the symptoms are a lot worse than others, but still, a germ is a germ is a germ. Either it’s there or it isn’t.

And therein lies the problem. Any of us could be carrying that germ with no symptoms at all, but in the time it takes for the virus to die within us, we could infect a lot of people. From that perspective, she could have gotten it from me. You just never know.

I always get a little peeved when I’m driving on a misty morning, and cars suddenly appear out of the tree-laden background with no headlights. Depending on the color of the car, you may not see it until it’s too late. Oh, but they can see perfectly fine, right? Well, that’s the thing about headlights. They work in both directions. Sometimes, it’s as much about other people as you.

This social distancing is a pain. It’s frustrating, going to the hardware store to find it closed. And who wouldn’t enjoy a decent meal out with the family right now? Yes, it’s a pain. And I think we’ve all taken some risks we maybe shouldn’t have taken. I know I have. There’s that point where you try to balance caution with life. We can’t just hide in a bubble all day.

But, to the point that we can, that’s exactly what we need to do. We live in an area where, for whatever reason, grocery shopping online means a 3-5 day wait for your food. Most of us don’t think that far out. But that’s what it’ll take to beat this. There will be things we absolutely have to have, right now. But aside from that, we need to put safety ahead of our personal desires.

I’m sure our daughter will get through whatever she’s facing right now. And, if it’s something that has spread to the rest of us, we’ll deal with that as well. As a world community, we’ve come this far. Now is not the time to back off and get careless. It’s like piling up sandbags against a flood. If you let up too soon, it’s all for nothing. Be healthy and stay strong. We can do this. We don’t have any other choice.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Change Itself Isn’t Good Or Bad – It’s What We Do With It That Counts

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is starting off well.

Not long ago, one of the television channels showed an episode of the Jetsons. It was fun reminiscing at all the things the show’s creators thought we’d have at some distant point in the future. Personal robots, spaceports, flying cars that fold into a briefcase. And phones that fit in your pocket. Who saw that one coming?

I still remember one of the greatest breakthroughs in communications technology … phones that came in different colors. Until then, you had three choices – black, black, or black. Next came long cords that could reach any room in the house, and then the old rotary dialer was replaced by buttons that could play Mary Had a Little Lamb. I’m not sure whose phone rang on that one, but I’m betting it was long-distance.

Sometime in the 80s, we got cordless phones. Big, bulky things with a pull-out antenna on the top, just like your old transistor radio. Remember those? You had to set the dial just right to hear your favorite channel, and then every time a good song came on, a plane would fly over, and you’d lose the signal completely. Ah, those were the good old days!

Back then, if you wanted to change the channel on the TV, you had to get up. That’s not to say we got a lot of exercise, because there were only three channels to begin with. Channel surfing was like a rodeo – it lasted eight seconds. And if the antenna wasn’t pointed just right, you got snow. That’s how teenage boys learned to watch digitally scrambled cable channels. You know the ones.

We’ve seen a lot of changes in our lives, even if you’re only 30. Think about it. Thirty years ago, people still carried pagers. Long-distance was a costly service, and cars still came with a clutch. Want to throw a teenager into a tizzy? Put them behind the wheel of a car with three pedals. And then, as some on social media have suggested, write the instructions in cursive.

Yes, we’ve come a long way. Some changes have been better than others. Personally, I like not having to budget the cost of calling somebody in a different county. But I do miss the days when you could get on a plane without a full-body scan and six episodes of the same stupid questions. “Did you pack your bags yourself?” Yes, but I did ball up my underwear. Will that be a problem?

Let’s face it, technology is changing our world even as we sit here enjoying our morning coffee. I read an article a few months ago about how some of the major retailers were moving toward a model of stores without customers. Instead of an attractive storefront, you’d have a warehouse with robots roaming the aisles. Place your order online and it gets delivered to your front door.

Which sounds great, unless you’ve ever seen my wife inspecting produce, or me looking for a pack of bacon where all the pieces are straight. Besides, who’s gonna squeeze my bread to make sure it’s fresh? At least you’d know if the robot did it for you. Right in the middle of the loaf, you’d have four slices shaped like an hourglass. No thanks.

But it’s coming, folks. And in a way, it makes sense. Stores are expensive. They have to be decorated, brightly illuminated, and kept reasonably clean. Items on special promotion have to be displayed instead of just moving them to the home page. Besides, it’s the only way they can sell the stuff nobody would buy if they saw it first. Soggy grapes? No problem. Order #34872.

Sometimes, fate has unexpected consequences. What was unacceptable a month ago is standard procedure today. And that won’t stop when this virus goes away. A lot of the changes we’ve seen are here to stay. That may be good or bad, but it won’t change the inevitable. Corporations learn fast. And once you’ve got a foot in the door, it’s that much harder to slam it shut.

We’ll adapt. We may complain a little, but in time these new ways will just become a part of life. I hope that new life doesn’t involve masks and a ban on hugging, but some of the changes may not be so bad. Let’s face it, curbside liquor delivery is pretty convenient. Maybe it’ll replace the ice cream truck. Wonder what song they’d play? Jimmy Buffet, perhaps?

The key to thriving in a changing world is to change with it. Technology is only part of the equation. The biggest challenge lies somewhere between our ears. We can accept change and go along for the ride, or we can embrace it and take the wheel. Change is inevitable. The only question is, will you make it work for you?

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Got Some Time On Your Hands?

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Hump Day! I hope your day is off to a great start.


I’ve seen all kinds of things posted on social media about how people are handling this social distancing thing. Most involve an accounting of the number of trips to the refrigerator, a relative lack of daily grooming, and how much fun it is having the kids around all day. In other words, we’re getting fat, lazy, and fed up with family. Sounds like a typical weekend to me.

I think a lot of people are still in shock. When you’re used to going to work every day, it’s hard to sit around the house. Oh, for a week or two it’s great. But that’s about how long most vacations last and after that, our brain says it’s time to go back. Okay, just that part of the brain that doesn’t know any better. It’s the same part that tells you to eat broccoli.

But, if I’m to believe most of what I’ve read, people are pretty much wasting away indoors instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to get some things done. Just what is this tiger king? Has it been that long since the last Lion King movie? Disney is falling asleep at the wheel, so somebody else stepped in to help? I feel like I’m missing something important. (Not really)


I guess it’s good that we can find a little time to catch up on social media and some of the less tragic things happening around the world. If reality is what you want, it’s right there on TV with 24-hour coverage. And just in case you’re too dense to understand traditional reporting, there are dozens of pundits to explain what their bosses want you to think it means.

So, it’s understandable that at some point, we’d shut off the TV and retreat into something a little more enjoyable. There have even been suggestions that, come December, we’ll be welcoming a lot of new babies into the world. Where can I sign up for that activity plan? Not the actual babies, but … you know … the fun part. Again, I seem to have missed out on that one.


When I was in the Navy, it was a common practice that, when a carrier group returned from an extended deployment, nobody working in the hospital was allowed to go on leave nine months later. Ten-thousand sailors home for the first time in several months? You do the math. At that point, it doesn’t matter if you’ve got maternity experience. “Podiatry? Close enough!”

Okay, so when we’re not reading social media, making babies, or watching shows about tigers, what else are we doing with our time? Hopefully some of us are out working in the yard. I’ve seen a few that could use some help. Okay, mine. I didn’t spray for weeds at the first thaw, and apparently they saw that as a sign of encouragement. Okay, welcoming is a better word.


I have seen a lot more people spending time with their kids. Okay, online. Not too many are out and about. I took a walk yesterday and, other than the neighbors’ dogs, I didn’t get to say hi to anyone. I greeted each of them by name. How sad is it that I know all the dogs, but I don’t know any of the kids? On the other hand, dogs don’t throw toilet paper all over the yard. I’m just saying.


I’ve already mentioned the fact that we could all be using this time to build something on the side that can supplement, or even replace, our income. The problem with that is we don’t do these things out of necessity. And even if we do, it’s just to get us over the hump. Unless there’s an overriding dream that motivates us to keep going, we only do what has to be done.


A lot of things have changed over the past several weeks, but hopefully your dreams are still intact. The timing may have changed, and you may be looking for other ways to make things happen. But without dreams, we’re just trudging through life, hoping for something good to happen. Dreams help us focus that energy into making the right things happen.

So, take some of that extra time to rejuvenate your dreams. Odds are, they’ve been pushed aside in favor of things that consume our days without making us feel like we’ve accomplished much of anything. Like cutting the grass. You do it now, and a week later it’s like you were never there. Unless your dream is to cut grass, in which case we need to talk. Seriously.

If you had dreams before this began, hopefully they haven’t changed. Except now you have more time to think about them and try to put things in motion to achieve them. Figure out what’s standing in the way and do something about it. Then, you won’t have to worry about how to spend your time. You’ll know.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved

Good Health Doesn’t Just Happen – You Have To Want It

by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

For the first day in a week, I woke up relatively free of back pain. That’s “relatively” in the sense that my first car was relatively free of dents. You know, after I hit the open tailgate of a parked pickup truck. Most of the car was fine, but that one headlight pointed to the stars. It didn’t hurt the truck a bit. Naturally.

I’ve got a condition doctors refer to as degenerative disc disease. I don’t think it’s a disease as much as the fact that the discs in my lower back are trashed. And every now and then one slips to the side enough to let my spine sit directly on a nerve. They say the Latin term is hurtus alotus maximus. I’m not so sure about that, but I do have some pretty juicy French terms for it.

I’m told it’s just part of aging. You know, in the sense that I packed on a bunch of extra weight and it’s been sitting on my spine for the better part of thirty years. It’s like driving around with sacks of concrete in the trunk of your car. Sooner or later, you’re gonna wear out the tires. Come to think of it, I need to check them. They’ve been carrying this weight a while, too.

Lose some weight, you say? Well, thanks! Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll just get right on it. By this time next week I should be in good shape. Maybe after that I’ll go run a marathon. Oh, how I wish it were that easy. Not the marathon. I don’t run unless somebody is chasing me with a snake. Then I could outrun Jesse Owens. Only until I find a stick big enough to knock them out.

Extra body weight is a problem in this country, and in most of the world. If you don’t believe me, take a look around. Just don’t stare. Fat people don’t like that, especially if you’re skinny. If you’re fat, too, they just think you’re flirting. And fat people don’t like that. Okay, we do. We just don’t say it out loud.

The problem with body weight is that it builds slowly, giving us time to adjust. We barely notice when we need pants that are one size larger. We just blame it on the brand. “These pants must run a little small.” No, your butt runs a little big. We can say it. You’d think by the time we’re six sizes larger we’d get the hint. But no. Even then it’s only one size larger than before.

The same thing happens with our general health. We don’t really notice when we find ourselves running a little slower or waking up more tired each day. “It’s just a normal part of aging.” Well, maybe. But I think we accept that excuse a little too easily. We compare ourselves to people who are much older and decide this is normal. “We’re all headed that way.”

Well, sure. We are all headed that way. But that doesn’t mean we have to accept it without a fight. Losing weight is harder as we get older. The same is true of maintaining our health. The difference is, one comes from how much we eat and the other comes from how much we don’t eat. Sure, the gas tank is full. But if it’s full of sugar, you won’t be going very far.

Doctors tell us to eat a balanced diet with all the right nutrients. Well, guess what? In order to get all the nutrients your body needs, you’d have to eat several pounds of the right foods every day. And that’s if you could even find those foods. Most of what we can buy in the supermarket is seriously lacking in nutrients. Even fresh produce. Ever heard of soil depletion?

That’s not to say we can’t make better choices, but even a strict vegetarian has vitamin deficiencies. On the other hand, vegetarians are more likely to use supplements, because they’ve done the research and they know. As a result, most of them stay reasonably healthy later in life than the rest of us.

Our bodies were designed to convert nutrients from a broad variety of foods into the chemicals we need to thrive. Not survive – thrive. And the longer we cheat ourselves of those nutrients, the sooner we’ll feel the effects of age. Meanwhile, we’ll probably get some bigger pants to go along with it. Kinda like that hidden surprise in your cereal.

It’s all about choices, compounded over time. And right now, I can imagine there are a lot of people wishing they’d done a little more to maintain good health. There is no vitamin or supplement that’ll keep you from getting sick. But starting off healthy can make a world of difference in your recovery.

We can’t lose weight overnight, and we can’t get healthy in a day. Choices compounded over time. The sooner we start making the right choices, the longer we’ll be able to enjoy a reasonably healthy life.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

© 2020 Dave Glardon – All rights reserved