Mistakes – Dave Glardon

Life Doesn’t Always Go the Way You’d Planned – That’s a Good Thing

February 9, 2021February 9, 2021 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

The past few days have been a whirlwind. We buried my dad on Saturday, ending a monthlong saga that began with a visit to the doctor and took us through uncharted territory as we figured out all the details of coordinating two funeral homes, transporting him back home, and gathering friends and relatives in the time of Covid. But other than the freezing cold, it was a fitting memorial to a great man.

I wish I could say it’s all behind us, but it’s not. I’ve been down this road before. His birthday is coming up in a month. Every first holiday will bring memories. All the times we would normally get together will be a painful reminder that those days are gone. And, as we finalize the details of his estate, every little step will bring an onslaught of emotions. But we’ll get there. And with each day, it’ll get a little easier.

Life is supposed to prepare us for times like this, and I guess in ways we can’t fully understand, it does. Going through it reminded me of my first several times onstage, where I was running on pure adrenaline. The show itself is pretty much a blur, and afterward you can barely remember anything that happened. Okay, that happened for the first several years. But you get the point.

Life often seems like a boring cycle of repetition, where we do the same things every day, with just a few changes. But every day we do certain things for the first time ever. Maybe nothing as exciting as jumping out of an airplane, but even the things that feel repetitive are laced with first-time variations. I cook that way on purpose. Sure, sometimes it goes in the garbage. But therein lies the sense of adventure.

It’s easy to fall into that mindset where you think nothing ever changes, but every day brings new challenges and adventures. At least that’s what the boss calls them. A former manager used to call me into his office and say, “Dave, I have an opportunity for you!” What that meant was something needed to be done, and he wasn’t going to do it. And more often than not, there was nothing exciting about it.

But when we dig a little deeper, most of the things we do are laced with elements that require a little more thought than simply stirring the sauce. You make the same phone calls you make every day, and then somebody comes up with a new question. A bolt snaps off and you have to get creative about removing it. You run out of red paint and have to improvise.

In my business, we often say it’s all about duplication – just figure out what works and do it every day. But there’s a lot more to it than lather, rinse, and repeat. Every day we run into new scenarios that either challenge our thinking or add something to it. And it’s a good thing, too, because otherwise it would get pretty boring.

As a comedian, I loved being onstage. With very few exceptions, I started every show expecting to rock the house. But anybody who’s been there can tell you it doesn’t always work that way. You get halfway into your best joke and forget a line. A waitress drops a tray of drinks. A drunk in the back keeps yelling “Git ‘er done!” And that’s just in the first five minutes.

But you know, if I went onstage night after night and there were never any surprises, my comedy career would have lasted a few months at most. If I knew exactly what to expect every day on the job, I’d be looking for something else to do. And if I knew every call I made in my business would follow a scripted two-way dialogue to the letter, I’d get bored pretty fast.

The more we do something, the easier it becomes. And the more surprises we handle, the easier they become. You train your mind to think of solutions instead of memorizing a script. I had no idea how to go about shipping my dad back to Ohio. But I knew I could figure it out. And that sense of confidence is what allows us to navigate some of life’s most challenging moments with a sense of calm purpose.

It’s said that practice makes perfect, but we learn so much more from things we try for the very first time and those that don’t go according to plan. Mistakes will be made, and that’s all part of it. But when all is said and done, we’re better for having made those mistakes, and much better equipped to handle whatever pops up next.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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You Can’t Make Mistakes Unless You Try

December 15, 2020December 15, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

Well, if you read yesterday’s post about the work I did on our new car, I’m pleased to report that my wife drove it all the way to the grocery store and back, and almost everything is working the way it was before. Almost. Okay, a couple of red lights are on. Something about sensors being blocked. Aw, c’mon! It’s just sensors! Besides, at least we know the lights work.

Yes, I’ll have to take a look at that. I’m sure we missed a connector somewhere. That’s minor compared to the first problem she reported. Seems the car wanted to just take off and go all on its own. Like really fast. Apparently, somebody installed the floor mat on top of the accelerator. Somebody who looks a lot like me. At this point, I’m not sure she trusts me to put gas in it.

Okay, so things didn’t go exactly according to plan. That’s par for the course, even if you’re an expert, which I’m not. It’s a little scarier when it comes to a car not slowing down like it’s supposed to. On the other hand, we know the brakes still work. That’s the part I actually messed with. Okay, that and the entire front frame of the car. But let’s not go there.

I’ve often said the only people in this world who never make mistakes are the ones who never do anything in the first place. Okay, I usually say that when I’m the one who made the mistake, but you get the point. If you try, anything at all, sooner or later you’ll screw something up. That’s inevitable. The best we can hope for is to minimize the damage and do better next time.

Now, I know what you folks are thinking. Why did I work on the car, but my wife was the first one to get behind the wheel and give it a test drive? Because sometimes you’re the one who packs the parachute, and sometimes you’re the one who uses it. I don’t know! We finished late, I was tired, my back hurt, and I never took it for a spin. So, shoot me.

It’s a lesson I learned years ago. Test your work. Don’t put away the tools until you know the job was done right. It not only gives you peace of mind, but there’s something a little gratifying about hitting the brakes and the car actually stops. Especially when there’s a bag of “extra” hardware in the console between the seats. Don’t ask.

The point is, we all make mistakes. I could easily have blamed the floor mat installation on my son-in-law, but I’m pretty sure that one was my fault. It’s certainly not the first mistake I’ve ever made, and if I live to see dinnertime, I’m sure it won’t be the last. On the other hand, one more mistake like that and I may not live long beyond dinnertime. But that’s another story.

What’s important is that we raise our hand, own up to the blunder, and move on. It’s really hard to argue with somebody who says, “I did that – it was my fault.” Oh, you may still have a few choice words, but arguments tend to stop when both sides agree. And with that out of the way, you can focus on the root cause, make corrections, and move forward.

Because that’s the ultimate goal, no matter what went wrong – moving forward. There was something you were driving toward in the first place, a goal or dream, or maybe just a trip to the grocery store. Something got in the way. Are you going to let that ruin your day and bring your plans to a grinding halt? Or are you going to fix what’s broken and keep going?

Fixing a problem begins with acknowledging its existence, and the role we played in its evolution. We can point fingers all day, and others may very well share some of the blame. But until we look in the mirror and fix the only person we truly can fix, the problem will never go away.

I got lucky on this one. Fixing the floormat was easy and, as it turns out, those warning lights were just system alerts triggered by cold weather and a fogged-up windshield. Nobody got hurt, and we’re ready to continue the adventure. A month from now, we won’t even remember this. Well, I won’t.

Mistakes will be made. Some will be a lot bigger than others, but most are easily corrected if we just take ownership of what went wrong and continue moving forward. Success is what happens when your dreams are bigger than your excuses. Blame never solved anything. Get up, dust yourself off, and take a bow. Whatever mistakes you’ve made, they won’t be your last.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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You Can’t Take Credit if You Won’t Accept Blame

December 7, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

It’s Monday, and you know what that means. Okay, you know what you would like that to mean. Back to bed for another hour or two is what I’m thinking. I actually slept pretty well for a change, but only if we’re grading on a curve. You know, like when the teacher said, “Everybody failed this test, so I guess I have to give you all a C.” Like that ever happened. We just got extra homework.

I had a couple of teachers who could accept credit for the whole class getting it wrong. But that didn’t happen very often. Most blamed it on excessive talking and the entire class, including the teacher’s pet, not paying attention. Oddly enough, that was a great life lesson because it prepared us for the rules of accountability in the “real” world.

And we all know how those rules work. It’s like an old country song written from the perspective of a truck. “There’d be no truck drivers if it wasn’t for us trucks … no double-clutching, gear-jamming, coffee-drinking nuts.” Okay, it was a little cute. In one line, the “truck” laments, “If we’re on time he takes the credit, when we’re late I get the blame …”

If you’re nodding your head right now and thinking about anything other than that old song, we need to talk. Because either you’ve been subjected to that philosophy, or it’s your mantra. And I get it. Accepting responsibility for failure is never an easy thing to do, especially if there’s somebody else you can blame. “What do you expect when you work with morons?”

Sadly, we’ve all heard that excuse a few times too many. And to be fair, I’ve worked for some great people over the years. People who, when things go wrong, step up and say, “I must not have explained it correctly. Let’s figure out what went wrong and fix it.” People like that, you’ll follow to the ends of the earth. That’s why they’re called leaders.

But I’ll never forget the day a manager called me into his office to complain about shipping delays that were caused by something my team was not allowed to touch. Yet still, he still gave me a stern warning that, “If we don’t start shipping something in the next two weeks, I won’t be here anymore. And I won’t be the first to go!”

That same manager admonished me when I spoke with him about declining morale. “This company does not have a morale problem … YOU have a morale problem!” He wasn’t referring to me personally, but to the guys who worked for me. If they weren’t happy, it was my fault. Got it. “Can I make some changes, then?” “Not if you want to keep your job!”

We’ve all worked for people like that. When I was in the Navy, we called it “hiding under their shoulder-boards.” It was a reference to those little gold bands on an officer’s shoulders. The more bands they had, the more damage they could cause and the less any of us could complain. Thankfully, most learned a thing or two about leadership on the way up. Most.

So, here’s the question. What kind of leader are you? When things go right, do you puff out your chest and tell everybody how great you are, or do you acknowledge those who helped make it happen? And when things go wrong, do you accept responsibility, or pass the buck? Not just on the job, but in life. You know, where it really counts.

If you want an honest answer to that question, ask your kids. Or just look at how you interact with them. When they mess up, do you look for fault in them, or yourself? There could be any number of reasons they didn’t do as expected. And make no mistake, at least half are factors they control. But where does that leave the other half? Ah, now it’s getting real.

And odds are, if you’re that way with others, you’re the same way with yourself. Any mistakes you make can never be your fault – something or somebody else must be to blame. That’s the only possibility, because you do everything right and would never make such a bone-headed mistake. But beyond the bravado, you know the truth. We all do.

Excuses may hide your flaws (for now), but they also block your ability to rise above those shortcomings. Success isn’t about doing everything right the first time. It’s about learning from our failures so we can grow into the person we need to be. One who not only has the ability to succeed, but for whom success is the only natural result.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

You Can Only Make Mistakes If You Try

May 18, 2020May 18, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

This weekend, we took the motorhome for a drive. I’d like to tell you we spent the weekend relaxing in some exotic campground, surrounded by nature’s beauty. But the truth is, all we did was drive it back to the dealer for some repairs. Yes, it’s only two months old. Apparently, the people in the factory get in a hurry sometimes and … well, you know.

I knew this before we even went shopping. When you take something with all the features of a house and bounce it down the road, some things settle and others work their way loose. New RVs are notorious for this. Which means it’s not really the RV or the miles bouncing down the road or anything like that. It’s what happens in the factory on Friday afternoon. “Miller time!”

For instance, I turned on the XM radio to find there’s no signal. Apparently the antenna never got hooked up. One of the dash fans didn’t get wired up. And the cover to the wiring panel is lying loose in the electrical bay. These things don’t happen from the road. They happen simply because somebody was in a hurry and didn’t quite finish the job.

It’s funny, when I do that it’s simply a matter of oversight. I was so focused on the job that I missed one minor detail. Give me a minute and I’ll fix it. No big deal. Unless I’m putting new brakes on the car. Then it gets to be a little more serious. But most of those spare parts aren’t needed anyway. Besides, all brakes make that sound when they’re new. Trust me.

I’ve had this conversation with my wife more than once. She’s never there when I’m taking the car apart or splitting my knuckles and smashing my thumb as I gingerly fit stubborn parts together with a six-pound sledgehammer. But the minute I finish, she’s right there inspecting the box of old (and new) parts I’m getting ready to throw away. And she doesn’t miss a thing.

We all tend to cut ourselves some slack when we’ve done the best we can and still miss the mark. But when somebody else is doing the work, we’re not so forgiving. My grandson cut the grass Saturday. He even bagged up all the clippings. It looks great. Except that one spot in the corner of the driveway by the garage. Yes, I pointed it out. He said he’ll get it the next time.

Which is why the RV is sitting outside a service bay at the dealership. Somebody missed a few things, we pointed them out when we took delivery, and they said, “We’ll fix that when you bring it back in.” Who says I want to bring it back in? And I have to be honest. It’s a small list, and nothing of any real significance. Overall, they did a really good job. At least the brakes work.

It’s easy to spot the mistakes in somebody else’s work. We’re good at that. It’s even worse when the job is being done correctly, just not the way you’d do it yourself. “Why are you mowing the grass that way? It’s better if you just go back and forth!” I don’t even watch anymore. I just listen for screams. As long as he can finish with both feet intact, we’re good.

And you know, sometimes we need to be equally forgiving of ourselves. There are things I do every day that I wish I’d done a little differently. As a writer, I don’t like going back to read things I’ve previously written because invariably I find things I could have expressed differently. Not necessarily better – just different. And the more you tweak it, the more you mess it up.

We shouldn’t hold others to a higher standard than we hold ourselves, and the same is true in reverse. Perfection is an elusive and impossible goal. Sure, we should try to be the best we can, and we should expect the same of others. But that means accepting mistakes graciously – ours, and theirs.

Pick up the pieces and move on. If the Notre Dame can suffer such a devastating fire and be restored to its original glory, there’s not much in our lives we can’t fix. Dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong, and fix it. Your goals are still out there waiting. And every minute you spend crying over spilled milk is a minute you’re not moving toward them.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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Failure Is the First Part of Success

May 6, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Hump Day! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

Mom always said three things in life are certain – death, taxes, and my grandson asking me to make him some eggs. Okay, that last one is a recent twist on an old saying, but you get the picture. We have the grandkids twice a week, and the little guy loves his eggs. Or he loves getting Grandpa off his butt to cook. I’m not really sure which takes precedence.

My granddaughter leans toward getting me into the kitchen so she can curl up in my spot on the couch. I always offer her breakfast, but she passes. The nap is more important. Except last week when she waited until I turned the stove off and then came in and said, “I changed my mind.” Girls are allowed to do that. I don’t tell her that, but those are the rules. My wife says so.

I was born to be a grandpa. I saw a tee shirt once that said, “If I’d known grandchildren would be so much fun, I’d have had them first.” That pretty well sums it up. They really are more fun. That probably has something to do with the fact that we can send them home. That and the fact we’re too tired to supervise every single move they make. That’s their mother’s job.

Also, I’ve got 20 years of experience in this role. With your own kids, you learn as you go. Kinda like an airline pilot making his first landing in a Cessna. It’s usually not pretty. I took flying lessons, and I’ll never forget the landing that set my feet permanently on the ground. And to this day, that plane blames me for every problem it’s ever had.

But with grandkids, we’ve already made a lot of the mistakes. We’ve had time to look back and realize that what we once thought was a big deal isn’t worth the tears. Maybe that’s because we’ve been through the teenage years, so we have a little more perspective on just how bad it can get. Either way, we mellow with age. “Oh, so he took the car for a spin. He didn’t hurt it.”

Okay, that last one was just for fun, because I have a strict rule about preschoolers driving my cars. I taught their mother to drive, so I know the stupid things they can do. They’re not even allowed in the front of the RV when it’s parked, because they think it’s a playground. You don’t even want to turn the key after they’ve been up there.

So, we make rules, but some of those rules are a lot more lenient than they were with our own kids. I think that’s normal. Part of it is realizing the kids really aren’t hurting anything, and part is realizing you never really liked that vase to begin with. In less time than you’d spend polishing it just once, you can sweep up the broken pieces and be done with it.

Don’t get me wrong. Rules are important, and kids need some boundaries. But, where our own kids got stuck with a set of rookie parents, our grandkids get the benefit of age and experience. And that’s okay. Our own parents were first timers as well and look at how we turned out. Okay, maybe that’s a bad analogy. I was the guy my high school class voted “Most likely to serve time.” Ha! Fooled them!

The thing is, we learn from our mistakes. We learn that feelings are more important than spilled milk, and that we’re going to replace that new sofa at some point anyway. Sure, teach them to be careful, but don’t expect miracles. They will make mistakes. They will have accidents. And they will talk back. It’s all part of growing up. And so is eating soap, in case you were wondering.

And here’s the thing – you’re still growing, too. You may think you’ve reached full maturity, but as long as you’re still breathing, you’re still learning. And that means you’re still making mistakes, spilling milk, and talking back. Hopefully you don’t make yourself eat soap, but most of us are pretty hard on ourselves when we fall short of perfection. And that happens a lot.

So, ask yourself the same questions you’d ask your kid. Did you mean to mess up? Did you at least try to do it right? Do you know what you did wrong? If so, you know how to make it better the next time. And that’s the key to getting through life – try your best now and get it right the next time.

Give yourself the same chance you’d give your kids (or your grandkids). Give yourself a little compassion. And most of all, give yourself permission to fail. Because it’s in failing that we learn to succeed.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Follow @dglardon

Build On Your Successes, Not Your Mistakes

August 27, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Today will be a day of recuperation for me. Through a combination of age, weight, and not taking very good care of this body, I’ve got a condition doctors lovingly refer to as degenerative disc disease, along with a couple of other things I can’t quite pronounce. Combined, it means my lower back is pretty much gone, and it’s not going to get much better. Thankfully, it’s usually not nearly this bad.

With something like this, you resign yourself to the reality that some days will be better than others and try not to overdo it on the good days. Well, okay. That’s what sane people do. When I have a good day, my brain says, “You can beat this! Just get up and stretch it out a little.” And other days it just says, “Have fun, because you’re gonna pay for this one.”

I remember a time when that was my mentality about a lot of things. You’re out for a drink after work and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime. You call home and say, “Just a little longer.” Then it’s getting dark and you call to say, “Let me finish this drink and I’ll be home.” By now she’s fuming, and your inebriated brain says you’re in trouble anyway, so you might as well enjoy it.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all done that from time to time, in various ways. Maybe it’s a day on the job when you’re just not feeling it. Your work is stacking up and there’s no way you’ll get it all done. After a while, your brain starts making excuses. “Take it easy. There’s no way you’ll get all this done, no matter how hard you try. You’re in trouble anyway. Save your energy for tomorrow.”

Okay, we probably don’t do that on the job very often, because if we did, we wouldn’t be on the job for long. But how often do we do that with our own goals? You know there’s something you should be doing (or not doing) and there’s that nagging voice in your head that says you deserve a little fun. “All work and no play …” You know the rest of that one. It’s a song that plays in our minds a lot.

I know the things I need to do to make my back a little better. Exercise would be at the top of the list. Not anything intense – just walking or even a little stretching. Yoga would be great, or even swimming. I know all this. I just don’t do it. On the other hand, I know I have to lose weight. But that cheeseburger last night was just too good to pass up (not to mention the birthday cake later).

And it’s not like I’m doing things blindly, with no concept of the price I’ll pay later. I stood at my desk yesterday for a full five minutes talking myself into a healthy lunch instead of take-out from a local Thai restaurant. I knew the implications of making the wrong decision. And I made the right choice. This time. But how many times do we make the wrong choice, fully aware of the consequences?

We all make mistakes. That only makes us human. But when we allow those mistakes to pile up, simply because “I’ve already messed up anyway,” it’s that much harder to get back on track. And as we see ourselves slipping further from our goals, we begin to justify not even trying. Why bother if, after all that extra effort, you’ll just come up short anyway?

Yesterday we talked about those small steps – seemingly insignificant, but added together they can make a huge difference. It’s the same when we do the things we shouldn’t do. We may get away with it a few times, but after a while it catches up. And that’s when we find ourselves in a hole with nothing but a shovel to dig our way out.

I didn’t do anything intentional to mess up my back. But I did do a few things that I probably could have put off once I knew things were headed in the wrong direction. Just like I’ve done a few things I didn’t need to do instead of working on the things I should be doing for my personal goals. We all do it. And we all pay a certain price. The question we have to ask is whether that price is worth it.

Sure, we can always turn things around and get back on track. But it’s easier to keep a train moving than to get a train moving. We’ll slip up now and then, and that’s okay. What’s important is that we correct our mistakes instead of letting them become an excuse for making even more mistakes. Every step we take leads us in a certain direction. Make sure it’s the direction you want to go.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Mistakes Are Never Intentional – Reactions Are

July 8, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

This was a good weekend for me. I got most of the things done that I’d planned, and still found some time to rest. It began Friday night as I sent my motorcycle into the sunset with a new owner and ended last night when my granddaughter came to spend a week with us. Life is good.

Selling my motorcycle was a bittersweet sorrow, and also a relief. I’d ridden one in high school, and all through my young adult years I wanted another one. My wife always knew spring was in the air, because I’d start nosing through magazines and sale ads, and browsing through the bike shops with that longing look in my eyes. But it just wasn’t to be, at least not then.

Finally, after the kids were grown and we were in a somewhat better financial position (you know, compared to unemployment), I took the plunge. For nine years, I enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair and spent many weekend days motoring lazily along winding country roads. It was fun. It was relaxing. It was therapeutic.

But change is part of life, and sometimes we have to accept a few changes that we’d rather do without. In my case, it was twofold – my lower back degraded to the point that sitting upright without being able to change positions made it too uncomfortable to enjoy the ride. And also, I began to worry about sharing the road with drivers in much heavier cars who text while they drive.

I had a few close calls over the years, but the last one was enough to make me hang up my helmet. At 55 mph, a driver in an SUV that had been stopped in a turn lane suddenly turned in front of me. I didn’t even have time to hit the horn. I locked up the brakes and waited for the impact. She saw me at the last second and stopped. If she hadn’t, I would have been on the evening news.

I’m sure that woman went home shaking as hard as I did. And I doubt she’s made that mistake since then. It’s not that she intentionally tried to mess up my day. We just tend to get into our own world sometimes to the point that we miss what’s going on all around us. And, depending on what we’re doing at the time, the result can be disastrous.

I could have gotten upset and offered an obscene gesture. But the fact is, I was just happy to be alive. And also, I’ve been that person in the other vehicle, not paying close enough attention, who made somebody else’s heart skip a few beats. It happens to all of us. Laying on the horn or yelling obscenities doesn’t make the other person feel any worse. It just increases the anger on both sides.

People make mistakes. Accidents happen. We hurt other people without meaning to, both physically and emotionally. And other people will hurt us. That’s life. That’s all part of living and breathing in a world where others also live and breathe. And, more importantly, a world where others have no less entitlement to live and breathe than we do.

What’s important is that we come away from those situations wiser and with a stronger sense of how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. But when learning is replaced by a battle of who can get in the last word, who can offer the worst insult, or who can throw the last punch, nobody wins. It’s that mentality that leads to bullets replacing words.

Life is full of challenges, and sometimes we have to take a knock on the chin. It’s been said that discretion is the better part of valor. And discretion is simply using our brain to decode a situation, to determine if it’s an immediate danger that requires defensive action on our part, or if it’s simply an oversight on somebody else’s part that we could just as easily have committed.

Most of us will go through life without ever facing a situation in which our immediate survival depends on our ability to outdo another person. There will be times when we need to take immediate defensive action, but defense ends when the immediate danger is over. Anything beyond that is aggression.

We all make mistakes and, when we do, we expect others to recognize that the act was unintentional. When we offer an apology, we expect others to accept it. We can’t undo anything once it’s done, and no amount of post-conflict aggression will change that. Winning doesn’t mean we have to be stronger and better than everyone else. Sometimes, it simply means getting through life with them.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!