Lifestyle – Dave Glardon

Too Old to Work, Too Young to Die

March 10, 2026March 7, 2026 by Dave Glardon, posted in Motivational Humor

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

Ask anybody what’s the first thing they’d do if they hit the lottery, and there are a few standard responses you can count on. Okay, after they pick themselves up off the floor. Let’s be real, some of these jackpots are pretty huge, and to suddenly realize you’ve just become rich beyond your wildest dreams would bring most of us to our knees.

The next thing they say is something to the effect of, “I’d walk into work tomorrow in my pajamas with an open bottle of bourbon and tell ‘em to put this job where the sun doesn’t shine!” Okay, a little colorful, but you get it. I’ve often said I’ll have to work until noon the day of my funeral, but it would be nice to think I have options, you know?

No, I didn’t hit the lottery. I’m told you have to actually buy a ticket and, while that would make for an awesome retirement, it’s just not my style. Maybe because I’m not getting any younger and, with lottery games twice a week, I’m running out of time.

I believe most of us dream of a day when we can walk into work, look around, and say, “I just don’t feel like doing this anymore.” Hopefully that coincides with the day we no longer need the income, but when you’ve worked your whole life, that’s a hard concept to fathom. It’s even harder to think of the changes I’ll have to make when that day comes.

I’ve never been able to imagine not needing any additional money. But that’s mostly because we had to scrape by for so many years and, now that we’re finally living the life we’ve worked so hard to achieve, I’m not ready to give that up.

And, make no mistake, we don’t live a life of unbridled luxury. We have a small one-bedroom home in a tropical RV resort. We cook most of our own meals, watch reruns of Big Bang Theory, and pay bills every payday. But we live among people our own age who, like us, refuse to sit in the house and grow old. Besides, there are no kids to yell at for stepping on our lawn.

In fact, we don’t even have a lawn. We have a three-foot gravel border around our house and yard work consists of spraying for weeds. The hardest thing I do outside is walking to the pool, and that’s only if the golf cart needs charging. We spend time with friends, have drinks on the deck and bribe our neighbors’ dogs with treats, and dance every chance we get. Life is good.

Sound like a tough life? I know. We worked hard to get here and made some sacrifices along the way. And you know what? I love it! I can’t imagine spending my days any other way, other than not having to get up at 5 AM every morning to sit at my desk for eight hours at a time, working to make somebody else rich. That part still sucks.

At some point this year, I plan to join the ranks of the happily retired. When you get this old, you begin to realize there’s more to life than work. Not to mention the fact that if I keep working much longer, I’ll be too old, too crippled, and too tired to enjoy what I’ve worked for.

And I have no visions of lounging around the pool or spending every morning on the golf course. My retirement will, by necessity, involve extra income, and Social Security declined my request for an increase. They’re funny like that. So, if it’s to be, it’s up to me. Seems I read that somewhere.

That means now is the time. I’ve often said you need to dig the well before you get thirsty. Yes, I read that, too. What it means is, get moving. Build a plan, and put that plan into motion before the bills come due. Thankfully, I’ve had side jobs most of my adult life, including writing, pizza delivery, and stand-up comedy. Work is part of who I am. I just want to do it on my own terms.

Are you in the same boat? Maybe you’re nowhere near retirement, but you have this incredible sense of doom knowing a freight train is headed your way, and you can’t just sidestep it. We’ve all been there. Rita Davenport once said if money can fix a problem, it’s not a problem. Fix it! And there are more ways to do that than you’d ever imagine.

We’ll talk more about this in the coming weeks, but I wanted to plant the seed. We live in very uncertain times, and everything we’ve known about life to this point could change in an instant. But that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. No matter what, we will always be the primary factor in our own success.

That’s all for now. I’m planning to write these posts more regularly and shorten them up while I’m at it. Stop laughing! But thanks for the time you spend with me, because it really does mean a lot. Drop me a line when you have time. Meanwhile, have an awesome day!

What’s a Bed of Roses Without a Few Thorns?

May 29, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

There have been several segments on the news this week about a sudden boom in the RV business, in both sales and rentals. It seems people have figured out that open air just may be good for you, not to mention a little bit of recreational exercise. Besides, most campsites are a little more than six feet apart.

I think this may be the first time in my life when I was actually ahead of a trend. Not by much, mind you, but enough to convince a salesman that the winter months may not be the best time to hold out for a higher price. We got a pretty sweet deal and were still able to find enough toilet paper for a weekend outing. You’d think they could have thrown that in.

As we near the completion of our first full week on the road, I have to say I couldn’t be happier with our new lifestyle. I’ve figured out this whole setup thing and can now have us leveled and hooked up in fifteen minutes. And, after a little over 2000 miles, my wife thinks I’m a fairly decent driver. That last one is nothing short of a miracle.

Sure, it’s not the same as living in a house. It’s more confined, the air conditioners are a little louder, you can’t take a Hollywood shower, and the spin cycle on the washing machine shakes the whole house. But the scenery is a lot more enjoyable and if you don’t like your neighbors, it’s only temporary. I can live with a few minor inconveniences.

Sometimes, it takes a crisis to make us appreciate the simple things. Okay, an RV may not be one of life’s simple pleasures, but it is one way to become a little more grounded and shake off some of the daily stress. It’s about families enjoying one another instead of the TV. It’s about bonding with nature and breathing fresh air. And it’s about emptying tanks full of stuff we’d rather not think about.

With anything, you take the bad with the good. For myself, pulling a valve every couple of days to empty a tank beats mowing the lawn, so I’m not complaining. But there is no change we can make in our lives that won’t come with some inconvenience. The question is whether the sacrifice is worth the gain.

And it’s that way with anything you do. A bigger house means more cleaning and maintenance. A new car means bigger monthly payments. A business means giving up some of your free time. And a boat, I’m told, is a hole in the water you throw money into. I get that completely. Our new lifestyle certainly isn’t cheap. But it’s simplistic, if that makes any sense.

Life is short, my friends. If there are things you want to do, waiting around won’t make them any easier to achieve. Besides, there’s something to be said for doing things while you’re young enough and healthy enough to enjoy them. The longer you wait, the greater the chance it’ll never happen.

That doesn’t mean you chuck it all and go for broke. But figure out what needs to be done and get moving. It may take ten years. So what? Wouldn’t you rather get those ten years out of the way now? I’ve mentioned before how hard it is for me to envision getting to my goal weight by losing a pound a week. “At that rate, it’ll take two years!” Ah, but if I’d started two years ago …

Set a goal. Work toward it. Understand and accept the sacrifices and be sure you’re willing to make them. Test the water if you can. It may be as easy as putting half your wardrobe in storage or turning off the TV a couple of hours every night to read a motivational book. Some sacrifices are simpler than others. But they can also be the hardest ones to make.

I’m fairly certain a lot of these new RV owners will be like the New Year’s crowd in the local gym, or the hundreds of thousands who start a new business every year. It’ll be fun for a while, but at some point, reality will check in. And that’s okay. They’re learning. And they’re gaining a better perspective on which dreams they want to chase, and which ones they’ll leave for somebody else.

You never know unless you try. I’ve been married for 40 years because I took a chance. And those 40 years have been a learning experience of their own. There were times we wanted to drain the tanks and move on. But the sacrifices have been worth the result. Define your dreams, make the sacrifices, and reach for the stars. We’re only here for a short time. You might as well enjoy it.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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One Person’s Struggle is Another Person’s Dream

October 29, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is starting off nicely.

I always say “good morning” but that’s just from my perspective. For some of you, the workday is half over and some of you are getting ready to climb into bed. That could be due to your work schedule or your location on this planet. It’s nice to know my words reach people literally around the world each day. It’s also very humbling.

As I write each morning, I try to think about the words and phrases I use and remind myself that not everybody in the world understands exactly what I mean. A co-worker from another country once asked me to explain what “Hump Day” means. It’s easy to assume everyone knows it means the half-way point in the week. But I’m sure somebody had to explain it to me once. Then it made sense.

We all approach life from different perspectives. Some were born to privilege and thought everybody had a swimming pool and tennis courts in the back yard. Others were born on the other side of the tracks, and to them, a swimming pool was any body of water bigger than a bathtub. It’s just a matter of what we’ve come to accept as everyday life.

The same is true on the job. To me, a hard day is working through challenging issues and people who don’t respond to email. To another person, it’s coming home with sore muscles from too much physical labor. And, as a comedian once reminded me after I’d suffered a particularly brutal show, to a cop, a bad night at work means he’s got people shooting at him. It’s all a matter of perspective.

I remember once when I was being sent to Chicago to do some work for my company. I had requested a cash advance to cover my travel expenses, because I didn’t have any extra money in the bank. I asked several times during the day, and my request fell on deaf ears. Finally, I told them to make sure I was booked in a hotel with a restaurant so I could charge my meals to my room. I was broke.

The manager who was sending me on the trip said, “Just charge it to your credit card and we’ll reimburse you when you get back.” That’s great for some people, but I didn’t have a credit card. At that point in my life, no bank was stupid enough to give me one. When I told him I didn’t have one, he gave me an incredulous look and said, “You don’t even have a Master Card?”

I found out last Friday that my job may be ending in a couple of months. I’ve known for a while this day may be coming, and I have to admit it’s been a little difficult adjusting to that reality. Then I went to church Sunday and we were asked to pray for two women in a rehabilitation center, and one whose brother suddenly passed away last week. All of a sudden, my problems began to shrink.

It goes along with the old saying about a man who was sad because he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet. No matter how bad we think we’ve got it, somebody else has it worse. I try to remind myself of that in the morning when traffic suddenly comes to a halt because of an accident. Sure, it’s an inconvenience. But somebody’s day is starting off a whole lot worse than mine.

It works the other way as well. When we’ve worked to achieve a certain level of success, whether it’s on the job, as a parent, as an athlete, or even as a writer, it’s easy to get a little smug and think we’re special. We find ourselves in the presence of others who aren’t quite as accomplished as we are, and we puff our chest out just a little further. Life is good, and we have a right to be proud.

It’s good to be proud of our accomplishments. But if we allow that to go too far, it’s easy to overlook the reality that some who have accomplished much less have worked every bit as hard as we have, if not harder. If effort alone could make a person successful, every plumber and mechanic would be rich, and corporate executives would be sweating out this month’s bills.

Most of us go through life only truly understanding our own perspective. We think we know what it’s like for others, but we really don’t. Even if you’ve been at rock bottom, it’s easy to forget how that feels when you’re back on top. And it’s easier still to assume everybody else can climb up as quickly as you did. And it’s just as easy for them to assume you got all the lucky breaks.

Perspective is an amazing thing. The same rays of sun can tan the skin and damage crops. It’s just a matter of how we look at it.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!