Perception – Dave Glardon

Draw Your Own Line … Then Step To The Other Side

May 11, 2020May 11, 2020 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a nice start.

You know how something can be both good and bad at the same time? Like ice cream. I love ice cream. So does the bathroom scale. It welcomes each and every new pound with a flashing red light that says, “Hey, fat boy!” Okay, that was actually my grandson. He’s four. If my scale could speak, it would probably use a few other words. And it’s old enough to know better.

I have an office in my basement. That’s where I work every day. My car is getting like three months to the gallon. Seriously, it’s still got the same gas that was in it in December. The basement is quiet, for the most part, and pretty free of distractions. But it’s cold. Have you ever heard that cold air seeks the lowest point in the house? It’s true. I’ve done the research.

One of the nice things about working in the basement is I can tend to the laundry. When a buzzer goes off, it’s time for a short break. On the other hand, working in the basement means I can tend to the laundry. I’m already here, so that excuse goes right out the window.

I realized last week that, for the past two months, I’ve been working six feet from a refrigerator with four bottles of water and 32 bottles of beer. I think my priorities are a little messed up, especially since most of that beer has been in there at least three years. Does beer have an expiration date? I think as long as it foams up and doesn’t taste like vinegar, it’s okay.

Life is a matter of choices, not only in the things we say and do, but in the way we view the world in which we live. Take beer, for instance. I like beer. Beer likes me. What’s not to like? You know, aside from the extra calories, the feeling of sluggishness, and the fact that you’re not allowed to drive? So, we make responsible choices. We wait till bedtime so we can wake up refreshed. Right.

Okay, now you know why that beer has been sitting there for three years. Priorities change. It seemed like a good idea when I bought it. Kinda like ice cream. Except around here, ice cream doesn’t last three years. It lasts about three days. But I can down a whole bowl of ice cream in six minutes flat, and drive to the store for more. I just have to keep buying bigger pants.

For most things we do, there are benefits and consequences. The benefit may be nothing more than satisfying your taste buds or sipping a cool drink at the end of a long day. And the consequences may be nothing more than a slightly larger waistline or waking up with a mild headache. It’s all about balance. A little of the fun stuff mixed with equal parts of self-control.

That self-control may come in the form of two scoops instead of three, one beer instead of six, or letting the laundry sit until the meeting is over. It could mean mowing the lawn before you head to the lake. It might mean helping the kids with their homework when the big game is on. And it could mean getting out of that recliner to build a little more enjoyable future.

You can have anything you want, as long as you’re willing to give something up for it. And what you have to give up is pretty much in line with what you hope to gain. I was talking to a young comedian years ago about the challenges of income on the road. He said, “Sure, I want to be a star, but I’m not willing to live on the road if it means giving up my hair mousse and gel.”

Okay, for most of us the trade-off is a little more realistic, but it’s still a part of everything we do. I can build a better future, but that means I have to work. And I can sit on the porch and watch cars drive by, but that means giving up that brighter future. I can make either of those choices, or I can create a mix of my own. But I can’t have all the good with none of the work.

And even then, we have to accept the good with the bad. I love my new RV, but it takes work to keep it on the road. I love my job, but it means working when I’d rather take a day off. And I love my business, but there are parts I’d gladly pay somebody else to do.

The secret lies in finding that balance in which you give up just enough to have the things you want. It’s a line only you can draw. And once you step over that line, things begin to happen. Just make sure they’re the things you want.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

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Imagination is the Seed of Reality

December 20, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Well, it’s the last weekend before Christmas. I hope most of your shopping is done. Really, because the fewer of you there are in the stores, the more room there is for me. This is the weekend when I get serious about it. Most of what I’m looking for is already sold out, but that’s okay. I can surprise her a lot easier when the selection is limited. “I thought you wanted a new sander.”

No, I would never buy my wife a sander or any other kind of appliance for Christmas, and you can bet I’ll never do it again. I’m getting a little better at reading her signals and, even though I miss the mark sometimes, my average is getting better. It’s all in the eyes. Is it my fault her glasses get a little smudged sometimes?

Last week we took a test drive in a 37-foot motorhome. I’m almost positive I saw her eyes light up a few times. Especially when I took an exit ramp a little faster than I should have. Not only do those things take a little more room to stop, they tend to be a little top-heavy in curves as well. I even made the salesman stutter, and how many rookies has he taken a ride with?

Okay, so perception isn’t necessarily my strong suit. I make mistakes just like anybody else. I interviewed for a new position with my company a few days ago and, two hours later, I still didn’t have the job. That’s okay. Maybe the computers are down, or they’re still trying to find me an office overlooking the river. It could happen.

Yes, I’m in a bit of a humorous mood this morning. But the fact remains, when there’s something we want, it’s easy to read a little more into things than what’s really there. Maybe the hiring manager was just being cordial. And I guess it’s just possible my wife’s excitement at a ride in an RV may have been relief that we got through it alive. I mean, she did kiss the ground when we got back. Twice.

It’s hard sometimes to know if what we perceive is real, or if it just feels that way because that’s what we want to believe. Anyone who has ever watched their teenage daughter go out on her first date knows exactly what I’m talking about. If you’ve never prayed in your life, you’ll start then. And you’ll imagine how things really are based on how you want them to be. And all the while … never mind.

Dreams are a powerful force. And the more we feed those dreams, the stronger they become. We tend to see life, not as it is, but as we want it to be. Okay, there’s always a stack of bills to bring us back down to planet earth, but you know what I mean. What we imagine is what we feel. And the more we think about it, the more real it becomes.

It’s natural to imagine a reality that’s just a little different than what we wake up to each day. In fact, it’s healthy. And it’s normal to see the pieces falling into place to make those dreams come true. What we don’t know is how others factor into that. Your dream may be somebody else’s nightmare. But odds are, if they’re important to you, your dreams are important to them.

Communication is the key. It’s the only way to find out the extent to which you share a common goal. When one person has a dream, it’s likely to happen. When two people share the same dream, it’s inevitable. It may take time, and the final outcome may look a little different than you’d imagined. But therein lies the surprise of not knowing exactly what’s under the tree. And that makes it all the more magical.

So, dream. Whether it’s something you want for Christmas, a new job, a new home, or a new life. Define what it is you want, share that dream with those closest to you, and set about making it happen. You may misread a few cues along the way, and the destination may be a little different when you get there. But once you’ve set your sights on a goal, there’s not much that can stop you.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

Keeping a Healthy Perspective

June 14, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Yesterday I had a follow-up appointment with one of the surgeons who messed around with my brain last year. I keep saying I came away with no lasting effects, but there are some who aren’t so sure. I make the most of it. Every time I forget something I just say, “That must’ve been in the part they cut off.”

Well, the verdict is in and my brain is just as intact as it was before the surgery. That, in itself, should be the greater source of concern. I’ve always been a little “out there.” The only negative effect, and it’s not from the surgery itself or even the condition that led to the surgery, is my right ear still has issues. Otherwise, I’m in pretty good shape.

I was reading an article yesterday about an interesting trend in health, or at least in our perception of health. In surveys, an increasing number of people my age rate their overall health as “good” or even “excellent.” And mind you, very few of those people are without health problems or physical limitations. Some are even battling cancer. Yet they still feel like their overall health is really good.

Younger people, on the other hand, are a little less optimistic about their health. In fact, an increasing percentage of them rate their health as “acceptable” or even “poor.” These are people who, for the most part, have never faced a life-threatening condition. Yet they don’t feel as healthy as people twice their age. Why do you think that is?

It’s all about perception. The older people aren’t any healthier – they just accept some of life’s aches and pains with a little more grace. When you reach my age, you go to bed earlier and wake up tired. Joints crack and pop. Daily discomfort is par for the course. You can’t run around the block and bending over makes you dizzy. That’s life.

But it’s something we accept, because we expect it. We know that, as we get older, our bodies won’t look or feel like the body of a twenty-year-old. So, when somebody asks about our health, we don’t make that comparison. Instead, we compare it to the perception we once had of people our age. You know – back when we were twenty and thought sixty was ancient.

But when you’re in your twenties or early thirties, and begin to feel the early effects of age, it’s all new and comes as somewhat of a surprise. You’re used to feeling perfect all the time, and sore joints, lower energy, and the occasional headache make you feel … well, old. Worse yet, you know this is just the start. And trust me, it is.

I think most people my age would pay good money to wake up each day feeling as “bad” as we did thirty years ago. But we know those days are long gone, so we adapt and make the most of what’s left. Instead of lamenting the fact that we can no longer run a 100-yard dash in 12 seconds, we’re happy to be able to walk from one end of a beach to the other.

It’s all about perspective. You’re as healthy as you feel. I’ve seen people much older than me fighting a terminal illness with full acceptance of their eventual fate, and when you ask how they’re feeling they smile and say, “I feel great!” It’s not a lie, and they’re not delusional. They’ve just come to terms with the fact that you don’t have to feel perfect – you make the most of what you’ve got.

This isn’t intended to be a slam on younger people. I remember that age, and thinking my aches and pains were a sign of rapidly declining health. Worse yet, I adjusted my lifestyle to accommodate my perceived infirmities. And, along with the physical changes, I allowed myself to grow old way before my time. I was grumpy, opinionated, and generally pessimistic about the world in which we live.

Now, my wife will argue that the grumpiness hasn’t completely gone away, but overall, I feel a lot more positive about life than I did thirty years ago. Since that time, I’ve had a heart attack, a few surgeries, and a lot of lower back pain. I wear bifocals and hearing aids, and when my gout flares up, I have to use a cane. And yesterday my surgeon said I may eventually lose hearing in my right ear.

And you know what? I feel healthier today than I have in decades. I know my limitations, and I adjust my lifestyle to fit within those constraints. But aside from those little aches and pains, I feel great!

It’s been said that what we perceive to be real is real. If you feel old, you’re old. If you feel sick, you’re sick. And if you feel young and healthy, you’re … well, maybe a little less old, but still healthy. It’s all about perspective. Make yours positive!

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!

When Seeing is Believing, Take a Closer Look

June 11, 2019 by Dave Glardon, posted in Uncategorized

Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start.

Now that the weather is a bit nicer, I’ve been trying to get out and take a walk more often. Lunchtime is usually a good time to get away, because it gives me a break from my desk, lets me get a little exercise, and keeps me from gorging on food I really don’t need anyway.

I work downtown, so there are always plenty of places to walk. And there’s never a shortage of people to make the walk interesting. Most simply walk past, give a brief nod, and maybe say hello. Some sit on a bench and look longingly at a world that seems to have passed them by. And then there’s the guy who was chirping like a bird and having a loud verbal argument with himself.

I wish I was making that up, but that’s what I encountered yesterday. Last week it was somebody else, waving his arms and yelling loudly at somebody who wasn’t there. Or, at least from my perspective. Who am I to say there was nobody there, just because I couldn’t see them? In his mind, he was in a full-blown confrontation.

It’s easy to form an opinion on what’s going on with some of these people. Drugs may certainly have been involved, but there are a dozen other possibilities that are much less nefarious. You could be looking at a military veteran who saw things in person that no network would ever allow us to see on TV. You just never know.

Perception is a tricky thing. It’s an important part of quickly assessing a situation in which our safety may rely on our ability to accurately perceive what’s going on. But it’s also a very biased opinion based exclusively on what we’ve experienced and learned to date. We think we know enough to assess the situation, but quite often we’re completely wrong. Worse yet, we may never know.

I remember in high school, walking through a loud and crowded hallway between classes, there was a guy with long stringy hair walking through, seemingly oblivious to everything around him. His head was cocked to one side, his mouth was open and slightly drooling, and he was clapping and snapping his fingers to a beat only he could hear. I was certain he was drugged into oblivion.

A couple of months later, one of my teachers was talking about human miracles and how we can overcome otherwise crippling handicaps to live a normal life. As it turns out, that student wasn’t on drugs. He was blind. He was able, in the middle of a crowded hallway, to listen to the echoes from his claps and snaps to know exactly where he was and what was in front of him.

I remember thinking what a miracle that was, the challenges he had to overcome. Imagine learning the floor plan of a large school so well that you know each doorway and what’s behind it. Water fountains made an entirely different sound, and I’m sure the echo off the lockers was distinct. And he was able to selectively shut out all the background noise to hear only his own echoes.

As I said, sometimes you just never know. It was probably my first big lesson in judging a book by its cover and, nearly fifty years later, I can still see him stumbling through the hallway to get to his next class. I often think about my first impression of him and how incredibly wrong I was. He wasn’t intentionally dulling his senses – he was using them to a level most of us will never achieve.

Every person you encounter presents an image that may or may not be entirely accurate. The young woman who looks like she was out all night partying, but in reality, nobody ever taught her how to apply make-up. The guy who’s nodding off at his desk because he has a severe case of narcolepsy. The overweight person who’s eating candy to ward off insulin shock.

It would be easy to form an opinion based on two or three seconds of observation. And, even when our opinion is accurate, there’s still a lot more we don’t know. Maybe that person is on drugs. But why? What have they experienced in life that’s led them to the choices they’re making today? More importantly, if we’d been in their shoes, would we have responded that much more responsibly?

We’re all very different people, and we all have unique gifts, abilities, troubles, and needs. And we all share this planet together. Instead of crossing the street when I saw a man having a fight with himself, maybe I could have helped talk him through it. Maybe I could have calmed the “other person” down. Who knows?

It’s been said that we should never judge a person unless we’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Until we do, we may never know how hard that walk might be.

That’s all for now. Have an awesome day!